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Contest Winners and New Contest
By Boris Jackson / July 30, 2007
Hey Folks, This week's challenge is to come up with the…. Best Haiku About Harvard law professor Alan Dershowitz (Please note that if you cannot think of a haiku about Alan Dershowitz, it is also acceptable to write one about Rabbi Joseph Telushkin.)
The deadline is Friday at 5:00 PM.
Now, as for last week’s challenge, let me just say that you’ve made old Boris proud. Choosing among the entries was like spending a day on the lake, catching a big bucketful of largemouth bass, and then having to throw all but one of them back. It hurts like a solid punch in the groin. After spending all weekend pacing back and forth in the attic, I choose jrscribbler’s “She wasn't dry, but boy, was she ready” as the winner. It’s, of course, a reference to that famous “Dreidel, Dreidel, Dreidel” song, and I’ll be damned if I don’t love that song. Just the other day I heard the twins, Squirrelisha and David, singing it together. I would have joined in if not for the fact that I can no longer sing on account of the accident with the syrup and the balloon. (Remind me to tell you folks about that one another time.) My runner-up is this wonderful entry: “After the dreidel collector, Sarah Rochel, had her way with the yeshiva student she lured from his prayers at the Wailing Wall, she took a black pen and inscribed the Hebrew letters-nun, gimmel, hay, pay, on his fatigued penis– a great miracle happened here.” Thanks to all of you for entering, and I hope you’ll all enter this week’s contest. And please don’t forget that you have to register to be eligible to win the Jewcy T-shirt. Sincerely, BJ
POST A COMMENT
people say o.j.
no one talks of pro bono
nice work, Derhsowitz
–jenny p.
This guy sure can kvetch.
But to get rich doing it?
Damn! I can kvetch too.
Doucheawitz, advise
Harvard Chabad House.
Also, wife-killers.
Anon, your understated hyperbole is ridiculously hilarious (assuming you're not, like, Mrs. Dersh.)Â But you can't win unless you sign up!
Horrifying image
Running through my head, thoughts of
Finkelstein/Dersh Lovin'
If Der Sturmer ran
Centerfolds, a naked Dersh
Would make Nazis hard.
Chutzpah his mantra,
"lawyer of last resort," he
defends, bloviates.
Alan Dershowitz
The best lawyer and lover
In the whole wide world
All you need to know
Defended OJ Simpson
and Claus von Bulow
I love you guys..
I'm anonymous 11:24 exposed. Don't get too excited. This is a Jewish place.
The Case for Israel
Given Four Copies as Gifts
Still I'm Self-Hating
I’m anon 7/30, 1:37pm. But anon. 7/30 11:24pm blows me and the others out of the water.
give him/her the prize.
Dersh was unhappy.
Blamed goyim and the Arabs
Cheaper than a shrink.
chutzpah reversal
genesis of vanishing
case for law prof viewsÂ
warrants for torture?
evil dwarf’s filthy wishes.
soul full of winter.
yeah, I know I’m not registered. I’m just doing it for the glory. extra points for seasonal reference, please.
Rabbi Telushkin
Writes books with Dennis Prager
Damn, Prager's an ass
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