After Bill Clinton's affair with Monica Lewinsky became front-p
age news, Joe Lieberman took to the floor of our most hallowed deliberative boldy to announce:
Such behavior is not just inappropriate. It is immoral. And it is harmful. For it sends a message of what is acceptable behavior to the larger American family, particularly to our children…
[President Clinton] failed to show, I think, that he understood, that his behavior diminished the office he holds, and the country he serves, and that it is inconsistent with the mainstream American values that he has advanced.
Got it. A series of extra-marital blowjobs (a) is immoral (b) harms the family (c) harms the children (d) diminished the presidency (e) diminished America (f) weakened American values.
That's quite a lot for a series of blowjobs to accomplish, although the power of a series of blowjobs shouldn't be underestimated:
Anyway, where does Lieberman's moral certitude come from?
As a people we need to reaffirm our faith and renew the dedication of our nation and ourselves to God and God's purpose… George Washington warned us never to 'indulge the supposition that morality can be maintained without religion.
Okay, so it comes from God. That's a pretty good source. So we know how the anointed one feels about blowjobs. How about waterboarding:
It is not like putting burning coals on people’s bodies. The person is in no real danger.
After all, what harm ever came out of institutionalizing water torture? Let's now give thanks that the good people of Connecticut rallied around Joe Lieberman in 2006, re-electing him to the Senate as an independent after he'd lost the Democratic primary to Ned Lamont. Otherwise, the conscience of Congress — and dare I say it, the world? — would have been left desolate, with nothing to live on but a sinecure at the Hoover Institution and a petulant, fact-uncontaminated column in the Wall Street Journal.