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ChaserAmy: Dan Freeman

[ChaserAmy is a new Daily Shvitz feature wherein the lovely but wicked Amy Odell circles the digital cellulite and profile problem areas of a random Jewcy user. Schedules may vary. Check your local listings.]

Nothing turns us on more than users who actually use Jewcy. You know, comment on Shvitz and Faithhacker posts, articles.  And let's not forget our provocative forums, which ask, for example, how to eliminate JAPs and corral Barbra Streisand haters.  Or maybe you don't know we crave your feedback because you've missed all those inviting "Comment" boxes beneath everything that appears on this site. Frankly, I'm sick of you wimpy, "anonymous" commentors.  If you're not commenting with a username and completed profile, how am I supposed to start judging you, hating you, or falling madly in love with you (which is not necessarily exclusive from the previous two dispositions)?  Since superficiality is, like DJ Tiesto, one of my favorites, I'm going to start highlighting and making snap judgments on some standout users. First up:  Dan Freeman.  Daily Shvitz editor Michael Weiss alerted me to darling Dan. Mr. Weiss seems to have developed an Internet crush [strictly platonic-geopolitical – M.W.] on him and, after studying his profile for 30 seconds, I do, too. About Dan Freeman:  "Yale Law Student, reluctant New Haven-ite, romantic idealist in a world that is neither romantic nor ideal." Sigh. Somewhere, Lisa Simpson’s touching herself with two of her four fingers. Yale is both impressive and cringe-worthy.  As is law school. (I want you to talk contracts to me, Dan. All. Night. Long.)  And though I'm not into the Shins or the Decembrists, it's not unlikely you've got some techno in one of those 6,500 iTunes of yours.   But the hat trick of attributes is your charming photo, your probable IQ, and your sense of humor.  And two bonus goals: your age (25) and status (single).   Takers, Jewcy ladies? Then again, your photo could be totally bullshit, in which case I Internet-resent you but admire your opportunism. Debevoise & Plimpton, here you come.

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