 |
The Bachelor: Jason Mesnick Breaks Our Hearts |
|
 by Elizabeth Teitelbaum, March 3, 2009 |
||
Jason Mesnick, the single father from Seattle, won over female hearts all across America last spring on The Bachelorette when he lost to the surprise pick, snowboarder and walking fashion-faux pas (pink shoelaces, anyone?) Jesse Csincsak. It was clear, to me at least, that Bachelorette DeAnna Pappas was not really looking for a nice guy to settle down with, but rather a fun, adventurous dude. Granted, DeAnna was a Greek Orthodox girl from Georgia, but, in my mind I was wondering how she could pass up the nice Jewish father.
The outpouring of female interest in Jason led to hundreds of women calling into ABC to request that he be made the next Bachelor. And it worked: on January 5th all of the many adoring and mostly female fans got their wish. Jason started off with 25 beautiful women, many of whom had watched Jason get his heart broken by DeAnna and felt like they knew him already. Take, for example, stalker Shannon who seemed more enthralled by getting to meet a pseudo-celebrity then actually developing a genuine and organic bond with the man himself. She, along with many of the other women, seemed to come on too strong (there was one woman who admitted she'd made an Oprah-inspired "vision board" covered with pictures of Jason so that she could visualize their life together). There was also my initial favorite Jillian, a bubbly brunette from Canada who caught Jason's attention with her theory on how you can tell everything about a man by what condiments he puts on his hot dog.
But, in the end, there were only two women left standing hoping to get that final rose. In one corner stood Molly, an initial front-runner who shared the first overnight date with Jason in a tent early on in the season. It was clear Jason was digging her. She was extremely confident and poised seeming always to be reciting words she had memorized from a "How to Win the Bachelor" handbook, rather than speaking from the heart. In the other corner stood Melissa, a former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader who laid her heart on the line and admitted to always being the "dumpee." Melissa was cute and petite and seemed to be the most genuine and least psychotic of all of the women. Most viewers seemed to be rooting for Melissa - myself included.
Now what happens next is all a blur. ABC chose to make a few very strategic - and in my opinion, very selfish and inappropriate - choices all in the name of drumming up viewers.
Last Girl Standing: MelissaFor the last two months we have
awaited the much-hyped return of DeAnna, which was promoted like crazy in ads for the show. Every week I tuned in wondering which
week would be the week DeAnna would magically appear and beg Jason to take her
back, throwing a monkey wrench into the whole scenario. Instead, they saved
DeAnna for the last 15 minutes of the finale, and all it amounted to was a mere five minutes
of DeAnna proclaiming that Jason should follow his heart ("or let his
heart lead him" as she all-so-profoundly stated). So with that Jason, chooses Melissa
and all is right with the world. He sends Molly on her way back to
wherever the heck she is from to wallow in her waspy-ness. Molly shows more
emotion in the limo ride after he lets her go, then she does in the entire time
she was with Jason, and this is only because she lost. She even tries to play
into Jason's insecurities by proclaiming "that she thinks Melissa isn't right
for him and is likely to break his heart the way DeAnna did" but Jason sends
her home anyway and gets down on one knee Neil Lane diamond ring in hand for
Melissa. All was right in reality-TV land and the Jewish dad we all fell in
love with finally found true love.
That is ... until the obligatory "After the Final Rose" followup/reunion show. In a matter of minutes, Jason Mesnick went from the most adored man on television to scum of the earth. Jason solemnly reveals that after six weeks post finale spent with Melissa, he is having doubts and has been thinking of Molly constantly. Without a studio audience present "to protect those involved" (the producers' words, not mine) Melissa is brought out for Jason to break up with in front of live television.
The Other Woman: MollyNow, with all of the sleazy talk shows in which lovers
confess their infidelity, there is something fake about it all. This definitely
did not seem artificial. Melissa seemed truly devastated that after six weeks
of dating off camera Jason is breaking up with her because he wants to choose
Molly. Now, the whole excitement behind reality television is that real people
can watch other real, non-paid actors live out their lives on television often
times putting themselves in humiliating and vulnerable scenarios sometimes for
money. But something didn't feel right about watching this. It was too
much. This nice, sweet girl thought she found Prince Charming and had her entire
extravagant courtship down to the romantic proposal only to have it later snatched viciously out from right under her on camera. In my
opinion it was cruel on the part of ABC and Jason to bring Melissa on
television to have her heart broken for the all the world to see. Her life
became a side show and we all had a front row seat. It was
absolutely despicable to do such a thing. I can understand Jason having a
change of heart and wanting to end things with Melissa (after all, none of the
Bachelors in all thirteen seasons have managed to make their courtship last),
but to do this on television was simply cruel and unnecessary. On a personal
level, this just echoed the sentiments that I already knew (from years of
dating experience) that not all Jewish boys are Good Jewish Boys. And they are
no less incapable of breaking your heart.
Adding insult to injury, after Melissa (awesomely) called Jason a bastard, asked him never to contact her again, and stomped off the set, Molly was brought out. Jason told her he was still in love with her, she admitted she still had feelings for him, and then they made out. On the couch. On television. Five minutes after the guy had just dumped his fiancee. And yet they expect us to believe they hadn't been in contact at all since the show ended. Right.
Well, Mr. Mesnick, looks like you have a lot to atone for on Yom Kippur this year.
How the Jews of Europe Became Mascots and Souvenirs
As captured by French photographer Le Bijoutier
Why Satyagraha, the new opera about Gandhi in South Africa, made...
Video Testimonials from J Street Conference Attendees
Te'DeVan "Rocketman" Kurzweil tells us how he's going to change...
| Advertise | Privacy Policy & Terms of Use | FAQ | |  | | Comment Policy | About Us | Contact | Submissions |
| Hosting provided by Tilted Planet | ||
Lilit Marcus
Because I am a giant reality TV nerd, I wanted to add a couple of things to this.
While you are correct that absolutely zero marriages have resulted from thirteen seasons of The Bachelor, there are two lasting longterm relationships that have come out of the show. Charlie O'Connell (younger brother of Jerry O'Connell) and Sarah Brice broke up after his season ended but recently got back together. They have done interviews saying that their relationship problems were the result of Charlie's alcoholism, and once he got in treatment Sarah took him back. The other relationship is Byron Velvick (from the season where there were two potential bachelors and the women got to vote on who to keep) and Mary Delgado. They're engaged and live together, but because Mary got arrested last year for beating up Byron when she was drunk (there's a great mugshot out there) the 'Bachelor' producers don't really invite them back for the reunion shows.
Also, a blogger named Reality Steve, who claims to have worked production on this and other seasons of The Bachelor, spoiled the whole ending of this season on his blog weeks ago. He also claims to have evidence that Molly and Jason were definitely hooking up while Jason was still engaged to Melissa. Plus, he says that Melissa declined to be the next Bachelorette so they're going with your hot-dog-loving girl Jillian instead.
JessM
This is going to get embarrassing.
Secret Number One: I watch the Bachelor. Okay, I'm over it. And Lilit, I love your fun facts!
Secret Number Two: I just watched the "Bachelor: After the Rose" (why do colons always make titles more serious?) and it was the most painful experience of my life. Seriously, I was horrified the whole time, but I couldn't stop watching. I felt like I needed a hug after it was over.
The thing that did it for me was that part where Melissa asked Jason what changed. He didn't say it explicitly, but what changed is that HE WAS IN LOVE WITH MOLLY THE WHOLE TIME. omg, I will never love again. I did really enjoy cheeky Chris Harrison and his suave interventions though.
Elizabeth Teitelbaum
Jason was contractionally bound by ABC to make his relationship(relationships?) public. He didnt want to break up with Melissa on live television, however he was bound by contract to do so and thus had no choice.
For obvious reasons Melissa declined to appear on the second part of the "After the Final Rose" special, and additionally declined to be the next Bachelorette. I have been broken up with more times than I want to remember and it can be an excrutiating experience when you are head over heels about someone. I cannot imagine being publicly humiliated like that by being dumped on live tv for another woman. I feel so bad for Melissa. I do not think people should be getting engaged at the end. I think they should just agree to get to know each other better and date. There is too much pressure and expectation and to get engaged after 2 months in which the other person has been dating other people while courting you is just a ridiculous concept now that I think about it. Okay, I have officially been thinking about this wayyy too much. Back to reality.
copywriter
Ok. I admit it too, I got sucked into the show this year, or at least the end of it. I also fell for the hype, but wasn't really surprised. Does anyone really think you can find love on TV in this manner? I will say that I thought Jason made the wrong choice when he proposed to Melissa. I just didn't see the chemistry, it was too cutesy. Why does there always have to be a proposal anyways, when the sentiment is so fake?
While I do feel bad for Melissa, who wants be dumped on national TV, I don't think she was really all that shocked. Anyone who has been in a relationship that isn't going so well has to know something is up. If she did ask Jason before the show what was going on and he failed to tell her because he was waiting to dump her on tv, then he is definitely a big time bastard. But to keep leading someone one, is just as bad.
With all that being said, here is my real complaint that no one seems to have addressed...Jason is jewish. Why is it ok for him to go on a show and end up with any woman that is not Jewish? As a single nice jewish woman trying to find her nice jewish man, it truly disturbs me how so many don't care about carrying on our religion and our traditions. Even if he is a bastard, this sin is even worse.
Barbara Reader
The whole thing sounds depressing.
May I recommend NOVA or a nice TV course on, say, physics or anthropology? Much more entertaining, and you learn something, too!
sociologist
This sounds like a soap opera-I mean it is not really a reality show-once you put a camera and all those people around you have performance. In fact, porn actors have much more acting skills than these do-and it shows. Hope I don't offend anyone but the only reality shows are in our heads.
jewlicious
I am more than a little horrified...
---------------------------------
I blog at Jewlicious.com
Lilit Marcus
Isaac
"Why does there always have to be a proposal anyways, when the sentiment is so fake?"
No one so thoroughly lacks any understanding of the American social pathology as much as Americans themselves.
For instance, look at this financial crisis. The problem is a lack of demand, but that lack is relative to the demand that existed before. Perhaps demand prior to November was directed toward things that didn't deserve to be demanded - like housing valued at (but apparently not "worth"?) much more than one could afford.
The drive behind the dynamic American economic engine is largely linked to the country's status as a place where dreams are filled, no matter how unlikely those dreams are to be grounded in anything remotely resembling reality. Perpetually unfulfilled desire is the stimulus for never-ending demand. And if you don't desire something that another person believes they can sell, you had better believe they'll find a way to convince you otherwise.
Sometime around 1910, it was predicted that actors would soon become more important than political leaders. For those of us born after the moving reel, it's hard to imagine the audacity represented by such a prediction. The result is that the way we envisioned dreams and gathered information merged. And those who watch reality TV - especially of the sort that appeals to some semblance of glamour and status (the pinnacle of which, for women at least, might very well represent a marriage/dating contest) - have succumbed to the last vestige of fantastical reality dream theater.
Your vaunted bachelor performs his role (and yes, if you didn't initally and just as vapidly assume to think so highly of him then your estimation/expectations of him wouldn't be so diminished) by being just as vapid and by relenting, without much struggle, to the eternal male temptation of confusing physical form with spiritual function.
Of course, the "Other Woman" knows how to, and naturally can, appeal to this, in which case - given that the show is over and there was no further showbiz incentive for their coupling - the two may be meant for each other.
There is an entire subcategory of sociobiology devoted to studying how potential mates fool one another into reproducing with each other. Given the uniquely human (and especially American) talent for defining reality according to one's own myopic perceptions, perhaps the word "fool" in this context is obsolete when it comes to this species. There is such a thing as a self-deception that is so willful, the very concept of trickery doesn't even apply. It is replaced with the judgment of what it means to have completely become that which is most shallow about yourself.
Isaac
And by the way, is anyone else struck by the way Ms. Teitelbaum sprinkles her post with tidbits that describe the shallow interactions that so captivated Mesnick in the company of other bachelorettes (such as "Jillian, a bubbly brunette from Canada who caught Jason's attention
with her theory on how you can tell everything about a man by what condiments he puts on his hot dog." Or how it "was clear Jason was digging" Molly after sharing an overnight date in a tent with the woman who seemed "always to be reciting words she had memorized from a 'How to Win the Bachelor' handbook, rather than speaking from the heart")? But not a single sentence was revealed that shows any promise for a substantive relationship based on anything that actually took place between this guy and the former Dallas Cowboys Cheerleader that you were rooting for?
Of course not. You're young women. It's more important for you to focus on which girl most "deserves" your conception of Mr. Right than to figure out whether and how the dynamics between any of them make any sense. Give it a couple years until some you have actually managed to achieve a successful marriage and you'll understand the difference.
ezg
How can any reasonable person expect people to actually find love on reality TV? The entire format exists to sell participants dreams and then record them for replaying to thousands of viewers.
And the thing about dreams is that when you wake up they were never real in the first place.