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Here at Jewcy, we like to think we have a finger in every pie. Today, in honor of National Pie Day, have a face-full on us. The following videos feature a few classic pieing moments, from the Three Stooges to Bill Gates. Whether comedic or political, a pie in the face is always a classic act.

Though its roots are in silent film, the art of pieing hit the big time in a 1927 Laurel and Hardy film called The Battle of the Century. The Three Stooges followed suit, and pieing became one of their oft-used devices, as seen here.

In this rarely performed sketch, Monty Python demonstrates the technique involved in pieing, as well as its comic implications, or as they say, "The ribald connotations associated with the dispatch of an edible missile."

Gay rights activist Aron Kay (AKA The Pieman), who pied Anita Bryant in 1977, is generally credited with the evolution of pieing from an act of comedy to an expression of activism. Here's Bill Gates getting pied by Noel Godin in Brussels, in 1998.

Previous: Post-Soviet Cake Art

Breaking news on American and Scottish bilateral relations: The country famous for kilts, Scotch whiskey, and Annie Lennox may ask the U.S. to lift a longstanding ban on haggis imports. Why the longstanding ban, you ask? Oh, you know: Just because the Scottish dish traditionally contains offal (pronounced "awful," thank you very much) ingredients which have been linked to BSE (also known as Mad Cow Disease). But lo! Mr. Eugenides generously provided us all with a kosher recipe (minus the sheep's lung) for haggis in today's Tuesday Taste Test. Bon Appetit!

Unleavened and Unlawful: when good matzo goes badIn other strange food news, an illegal matzo factory, which had been operating in the basement of a Brooklyn apartment building, was swiftly shut down when authorities discovered two apparently explosive grain silos used for baking the unleavened and unlawful bread. All of the building's residents were evacuated indefinitely.

London has become the official home of the world's largest fish finger. Need we say more? Meanwhile, the U.K. is introducing mandatory cooking classes for 13 and 14-year-olds in an effort to empower them against the temptations of said fish fingers, and thereby avoid obesity. Brilliant, as they say across the pond.

Finally, the Land of the Rising Sun is entering Kit Kat season, as Japanese high school students take the university entrance exams that will all but decide their futures. They gorge themselves on Kit Kat bars because of a totally random, phonetic coincidence: in Japanese, the phrase "kitto katsu" means "you will surely win." Give me a break!

(Cross posted from The Jew & The Carrot)

Food Torah?Many people complain that it’s difficult to find a synagogue to join in New York City. There are just so many options, that none of them feel exactly right - you might call it The Shul-Goers Dilemma. These days, however, I’m feeling pretty good at Temple Bet Pollan.

Michael Pollan gets his fair share of love from fans (Pollan for President?), and his new book In Defense of Food: An Eater’s Manifesto has already joined its predecessor, The Omnivore’s Dilemma as a New York Times bestseller. Pollan is in the middle of his second whirlwind book tour in two years (I guess he sleeps on the plane) – and I hear the same account every where he goes. Huge venue, sold out show, knockout performance.

Like any effective leader - Martin Luther King included - he’s charismatic and big on the big ideas that change the way we think - or in this case how we eat. But as I devoured (pun intented) Pollan’s new book on my subway commute, I wondered what, if anything, does his worldview offer to the Jewish community? And, perhaps more interestingly, what wisdom does the tribe have to offer back to him?

Continue reading...

The Infamous Founder of Kimkins: clearly not a Russian mail order brideReplacing fiber with laxatives. Severely limiting caloric intake. Tricking your body into not feeling hungry. These are some of the controversial techniques touted by an online dieting program called Kimkins, which is currently facing a possible class action lawsuit due to what former users are calling "false advertising" and "alarming side effects."

ABC News accused Kimkins of being a "dangerous anorexic nutritional scheme" run by a "morbidly obese" woman. Users have complained of chest pains, hair loss, and the cessation of menstrual cycles. Christin Sherburne, a former Kimkins employee and member, is now at the forefront of the investigation and suit. She lost 100 lbs in 5 months on Kimkins, but was fired from her job with the company after raising concerns about the diet's safety. Sherburne claims (and it seems obvious enough) that the diet can "cause severe damage beginning with slow, unrecognized starvation and malnutrition." Doctors are inclined to agree (shocker).

Other skeptical members hired a private investigator and discovered that not only were some of the site's testimonials fake, but that the image of Kimkins' founder had actually been pulled from a Russian mail order bride site. Genius!

So what are the lessons learned here, other than 'for fuck's sake, don't replace fiber with laxatives' and 'Crystal Light is not a food group'? If it sounds nutso and unhealthy, it is, most likely, nutso and unhealthy.

Sure, You're Not a Plastic Bag: but are you a good deal?Everyone knows that green is the new black, but what you might not know is that most people are perfectly cool with black. Sure, we'd all love to do our part for the environment, but the general consensus is that a good deal and easy parking are more important than patronizing a market that uses recyclable bags and packaging. So says a recent Nielsen poll, which reported that only 9% of adults prioritize a store's environmental impact and practices when choosing where to shop.

This shouldn't come as a shocker, especially considering the rising cost of food and other basic essentials such as gas and health insurance. Inflation is making things more and more difficult for America's sprawling middle class, and the looming threat of recession can only mean more trouble for them--and for the Green movement.

One market-savvy blogger predicts that, in the face of said recession, the long-term future of the Green movement is grim. "Going green," he says, "is a 'smart, socially-conscious' business move when the economy's booming. One wonders, though, how many CEOs will stay the course when their boards and shareholders squeeze them even harder for improved quarterly profits."

When it comes to Russia, it's always a matter of extremes: soul-sucking Communism and unrestrained hedonism, severe winters and midnight sun, and in today's example: awesomely, dizzyingly extreme cakes. That's right--I said cakes. Everything you're about to feast your eyes on is totally edible, and was apparently designed by one "Zhanna" in St. Petersburg. Bon Appetit or, as they say in the Russia, Приятного аппетита!

Finally, an answer to the age old question: "Should we have a marriage certificate or a cake?" Now you don't have to choose!

...because nothing screams "dessert" like herring and beer?

Quick--bite it before it bites you.

This can only lead to a fight over who gets the cigarette piece...

I'll eat my hat if you've ever seen a cake like this before.

Hungry for more? There are over 40 others where these came from.

Got the belly fat blues? You'll be pleased to hear that new research in the Journal of the American Dietetic Association identifies a handful of foods that can help banish belly fat--and all you have to do is eat more of them. Rich in MUFA’s (AKA monounsaturated fatty acids, AKA "good" fats), these miraculous nibbles include almonds, walnuts, pumpkin and sunflower seeds, as well as avocados and black or green olives. While you're at it, remember to eat your brain food and you'll be a svelte genius by June.

Looking to build muscle in '08? Men's Health columnist and certified physical trainer Gregg Avedon's new book, Muscle Chow, emphasizes high-protein foods, carbs at the low end of the glycemic index, and alternative sweeteners such as stevia.  AM New York says the book "has an enthusiastic and knowledgeable tone that is easy to get caught up in," though suggestions like "find an image such as an inspiring cutout from a magazine or a high school yearbook photo" sound cheesy. 

Finally, a reader responds to a WSJ Taste Commentary from earlier this month with the reminder that if you're not hungry, you're eating too much. The article in question was titled "Dieting for Dollars" and described economist and author Richard B. McKenzie's success in pitting pounds against dollars.

Jessica learns it's not nice to call someone a "wacko"The Jessica Seinfeld controversy continues - and this time, Jerry’s wife isn’t laughing. (Wow, that sentence sounds so gossip blog…oh well, I’ll roll with it.) According to The Smoking Gun:

“An author today sued Jerry Seinfeld’s wife for allegedly plagiarizing a cookbook she wrote and also accused the comedian of defaming her as a “wacko” during an interview with David Letterman. In a federal lawsuit, Missy Chase Lapine alleges that Jessica Seinfeld “brazenly plagiarized” from her 2007 book “The Sneaky Chef” in the writing of Seinfeld’s own cookbook (both volumes focused on how to prepare healthy meals for finicky young eaters).

When news stories appeared detailing similarities in the two books, Jerry Seinfeld launched a “malicious, premeditated, and knowingly false and defamatory attack” on Lapine, the complaint charges. As part of that campaign, Seinfeld went on Letterman’s show and described Lapine as “angry” and “hysterical.” He then compared her to the kind of “wackos” that had previously stalked Letterman. The comedian then added that Lapine was a “three-name woman” and “if you read history, many of the three-name people do become assassins.”

Perhaps Jerry should have shoved one of Jessica’s spinach-laced brownies into his mouth before going on Letterman? Seriously, though, how sad that all of this is happening over the noble act of convincing (okay, tricking) picky eaters into consuming more vegetables.

If you've ever been in the care of a Jewish mother--whether yours or someone else's--then surely you're familiar with the words "eat something!" Often delivered with commentary about how you're "too skinny," they're spoken with a salty-sweet mix of love and reproach. It's no secret that Jews love to feed and be fed. My most profound experience with this old phenomenon occurred during a backpacking trek across Russia and Europe, when I dropped in on my sister's friend's grandmother in St. Petersburg. Despite the fact that she didn't know me from Adam (or Eve, for that matter), despite the fact that I didn't speak a word of Russian and she didn't speak a word of English, and despite the fact that her Soviet-era kitchen wasn't much bigger than a port-a-potty, she sat me down at her teeny tiny table and fed me until I nearly exploded. How she did it, I'll never know. It was as if she was pulling food out of thin air. Salads, meats, cheeses, breads, tea, and cake. There had to have been a secret door that I never saw her go through.

In any case, our enduring feeding frenzy has led to some deep culinary thoughts. Here, then, are my top 5 Jewish food wisdoms. Have one of your own? Post it in comments. Oh, yes--and ess gezunterhait, kids. Eat in good health.

	That's the way the cookie crumbles. In other words, that's life, folks. Hey, have some fun with phonics! Say it in Yiddish: "Azoy tsebrecht zich dos kichel."
	Eat like a bird, shit like a horse. Isn't that lovely? When I ran this one by my aunt, she laughed and said, "That's so Jewish." I can't purport to know what it actually means, but I'm sure it's steeped in profundity. Say it in Yiddish: "Ess vie ein foygl sheise vie ein feirt."
	If you're going to eat pork... This saying has a number of different endings, but they all mean the same thing: If you're going to sin, do it right. Enjoy it. Otherwise, what's the point? So, if you're going to eat pork: "...eat the best kind," "...get it all over your beard," "...enjoy it so much that the pork fat drips off your chin."
	In a restaurant, choose a table near a waiter. This little nugget is attributed to the legendary Henny Youngman, who is said to have walked into the Friars Club every day for 50 years and asked for "a table near a waiter."
	Love is sweet but it's nice to have bread with it. Ain't that the cold, hard truth?

Screwing the Pooch: is a trendy drink really worth his suffering?You'd never guess it, but the refreshing beverage that's infused with herbal supplements and marketed as an earth-friendly, organic, and/or socially conscious "ancient remedy" for something-or-other might mean hell for man's best friend. The London Times reports that the demand for health foods has resulted in a huge surge in animal testing, and our canine companions are included among the ranks of the rodents, rabbits, and guinea pigs that populate the laboratories.

The trend for healthier eating has led to an increase of more than 300% in the number of laboratory experiments conducted on animals for food additives, sweeteners and health supplements over the past year.

Home Office figures showed an increase from 862 to 4,038 experiments from 2005 to 2006.

Often involving painful procedures and artificially induced injuries, many of these experiments focus on inanities such as the "cabbage diet."

At Robert Gordon University, Aberdeen, rats were fed a diet containing 20% raw, lightly cooked or fully cooked cabbage for two weeks. The animals were killed to examine the effects of the diet on their liver and colon. The researchers had already carried out a human study on the effects on the gut of eating cooked cabbage.

Is It Me: or does the Teavigo logo resemble an "anti" sign? It's as if they are subconsciously trying to say, "Boycott us, we test on Fido!"Perhaps the most horrific experiment covered in the Times article was conducted by a company called DSM Nutritional Products, which is described as "the world's leading supplier of vitamins, carotenoids and other fine chemicals to the feed, food, pharmaceutical and personal care industries." In testing a product called Teavigo, a green tea extract, DSM force-fed huge doses to dogs who ultimately either died or had to be put down.

American products that contain Teavigo include Kinerase, a "dietary supplement for beautiful skin and wellness," and NUI Kid Water, a flavored, bottled "health" drink marketed to children. The official Teavigo website can be found here.

Whatever your general stance on animal testing might be, doesn't it seem incredibly cruel and wasteful to conduct painful experiments for such inane, passing fancies, especially when there are so many proven, reliable, humane alternatives? I mean, really: Johns Hopkins has a whole center dedicated to finding and using alternatives to animal testing. At this point, testing on animals is just bad science.

As consumers, our power is in our wallets. If you'd rather feed Sparky a dog treat than a lethal dose of Teavigo et al, then do your research and vote NO by boycotting products that unnecessarily test on our buddies in the animal kingdom.

(x-posted at The Jew & The Carrot) 

Bonnie over at Ethicurean created a fascinating infographic for Wired that overlays the price per calorie of various foods with their energy payoff and sugar content.  It depicts what Adam Drewnowski researched and Michael Pollan wrote about for the New York Times: 1. The cheapest available food is often the most fattening.  2. The most calorie-dense foods (usually processed and frozen convenience items) tend to be concentrated in the center shelves of supermarkets.   

Infoporn 

This supermarket setup seems pretty pervasive - it even holds true at my idealistic, non-profit Food Coop where I spent my monthly shift last night ringing up fancy cheese and (expensive) mixed-drink ephemera like limes and mint for people's New Year's celebrations.  Check out Bonnie's graphic above and, when shopping in the "middle aisles" of your grocery store, don't forget Rambam's "middle way" - moderation.

Simcha: or shanda?It's called "Simcha" and its blue and gold label flaunts a Star of David. Brewed in the former East German state of Saxony, it's a white pilsner with an alcohol content of 4.9%, and every step of its production is overseen by a rabbi:

A certificate on the brewery wall, signed by Rabbi Yitshak Ehrenberg from Berlin, attests that the beer is produced in accordance with Judaic dietary rules but warns that it is not suitable for Passover.

Special precautions are taken to ensure that it never comes into contact with any beer produced in the "traditional" German way, and no pregnant or menstruating women are allowed to participate in its production.

The barley and hops are grown organically in Bavaria, the yeast used to ferment it is made at the brewery and the water comes from local springs.

And of course, the barley can't have been grown during Passover.

Is It Kosher: to invite jesus into your heart? Unsurprisingly, all of the extra steps necessary to gain kosher certification mean that Simcha comes at a cost: the joy-inducing brew sells for about 80% more than the average German beer. Like "Exit," the kosher energy drink that we posted about last month, it's a welcome addition to a small market, but there's a potential problem with this particular Simcha.

Back in August, The Forward published a piece outing the beer--which has enjoyed modest success--as potentially connected with (and profitable for) the Association of Saxonian Friends of Israel. So, who are these friendly chaps from Saxony? Oh, just your average Juden for Jesus, it seems. Haaretz picked up on it, too:

The website for the Saxonian Friends of Israel, which has promotions for Simcha, includes links to a number of missionary organizations, including the local Jewish Messianic community and the German branch of Jews for Jesus. "Jesus of Nazareth is the center of our lives," says the 'About Us' page of the website. "We oppose the idea of converting the Jews and leave this service to others. But if we are asked, we do not conceal our messianic testimony. Yet, we focus firstly on our own people. We believe that the Messiah will gather his people from among Jews and heathens, when He will come according to the testimony of the words of God."

As part of the launch promotion for Simcha, a Jesus bookmark and other religious items were offered to customers. The bookmark disappeared recently from the Simcha site.

Which raises a couple of questions: If a product is made according to the laws of kashrut and certified by a rabbi, but it benefits--whether privately or publicly--a non-kosher cause, should it still be regarded as kosher?

And isn't this whole "kosher energy drink" and "kosher beer" phenomenon a big scam, more than anything? Frankfurt Rabbi Andrew Steiman, interviewed by Haaretz this past October, called it all a "hoax" and had this to say:

"People who keep kosher don't need a hecshher (kosher certification) on beer. This is just nareshkeit (foolishness). The hechsher is for [non-Jewish] Germans, so they can say they had a kosher beer."

Nareshkeit, indeed.

Jewish Grandmas are known for their special gift for feeding - and over feeding - their loved ones. But for Jill Ginsberg (second from right), her Grandma Rose not only filled her belly with chicken soup, rugelach, and blintzes - she also sparked Jill’s entrepreneurial spirit.

In 2005, Ginsberg founded Thou Shall Snack - a line of kosher snacks products that recreate traditional Jewish recipes, while giving them a decidedly contemporary twist (they’re kosher as well as baked, free of trans fats and genetically modified ingredients, and made with 70% organic ingredients). Read an interview with Jill below.

LK: How did you come up with the original idea for Thou Shall Snack?

JG: The first time I got the idea for Latke Crisps was after I heard of my friend’s Jewish beer company, HeBrew Beer. I thought, someone better make some latke crisps to go with that beer! It was really more of a lark in the moment, but it ended up becoming our first product.

[I also realized] there were a lot of other ethnic-inspired snack foods out there, which got me thinking about the Jewish foods I grew up eating. I began to wonder why no one had done something like this before.

LK: How do you generate new product ideas?

JG: There are a few commonalities between Latke Crisps, Babka Bites, and the third product I’m working on, which is a secret right now. They have to be a Jewish food that most people [including non-Jews] are going to recognize. They tend to be foods that are heavier and provide a little bit of guilt if you eat too much of it. And the third things is that these foods are difficult too make in the kitchen – they’re laborious. [These commonalities] have defined how we’ve marketed the products. You can have access to traditional tasting foods and flavors without having to do all the work, and also without feeling too guilty about it.

LK: It’s great that you are taking traditional, heavy Jewish foods and updating them. But when you get down to it, snacking is snacking – there’s always going to be a sense of indulgence. How do you strike the balance between a delicious product and a healthy product?

JG: I try to remind myself that we are not setting out to create the world’s healthiest product. I want my products to be as healthy as they can, while still maintaining the integrity of the original recipes. If we can’t get them to taste authentic, it wouldn’t be a product I’d put out there. At the same time, I want it to be a product I’d eat myself and one I’d feed my kids.

LK: Your kids must love it when you test recipes in the kitchen!

They do! [I started developing] Latke Crisps by making really flat latkes and baking them in the oven. The Babka Bites was more of an R&D process. I bought babkas from the supermarket and from a great kosher deli around here, and I taste tested the version we were working on at the manufacturing plant versus the actual babkas.

LK: Did you have a culinary background before starting Thou Shall Snack?

JG: I’ve always enjoyed cooking, and I come from a family where cooking was a big thing, but I didn’t have any experience in the food industry. I have a business degree from University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill – and this work perfectly combines my interests in marketing and business. I’ve probably done the majority of my cooking in the last three years.

JG: What has surprised you the most along the journey of being a food entrepreneur?

I think the most surprising thing is that it takes so much energy to make everyone happy. In the food business, it’s not just like you’re a retailer selling to your customer – you’re selling to multiple people and you have to make them happy along the way. It’s really a challenging, exhausting process, but it’s something I take very seriously. I have a little bit of understanding about how reading something bad about yourself in a tabloid might feel. I want everyone to love our product and that’s just not going to happen!

[Still] I feel incredibly fulfilled and content with what I’m doing. Instead draining me creatively, I feel this work brings out all the creativity in me. I’ve also been surprised by the amount of interest and acceptance we’ve received from a wider breadth of people than I would have expected. I’d sure hope we’d get attention by the Jewish community –
and we have – but there’s a larger group of people that are taking notice because they think [our products are] unique and also because they’re low fat and all natural.

LK: As a Jewish food entrepreneur, what recent trends have you noticed in the Jewish food world.

JG: There’s definitely a trend towards all-natural and organic food. You hear a lot of people talking about the convergence of kosher and organic. It’s happening because kosher and organic [certification] make people think that foods are safer, healthier, cleaner – so there’s just some natural overlap there. But I think that the biggest trends are really more health related. There are lots of foods out there now that are fortified with vitamins. When people are having a snack, they want to feel like they’re doing something healthy.

LK: Is there a Jewish food you’d never consider for a Thou Shall Snack product?

JG: I joke around with people that we’re going to make a gefilte fish popsicle. There are the consummate Jewish foods that people love, and then there are the ones where people feel sorry for us for being Jewish. I think gefilte fish is one of those, though I happen to like it – especially when people make their own.

LK: What does your Grandma Rose think of Thou Shall Snack?

We were featured in the Every Day with Rachel Ray magazine, and I mentioned how the products were inspired by Grandma Rose. I sent her a copy of the magazine and she was so excited! I really don’t think she knew who Rachel Ray was, but she was very proud. Though, my grandma would be proud of anything that I did.

She also seems to genuinely love our products. I sent her a bunch of bags of Latke Crisps, and she called me the other day and said, “You know – I had one bag for lunch, and I already know I’m having a sandwich for dinner, do I’m going to have another bag to go with it!

Find out more about Thou Shall Snack here.

(x-posted at The Jew & The Carrot)

Thanksgiving is done and Black Friday is upon us along with a fridge full of delicious leftovers. Unfortunately, another glorious meal - Shabbat dinner - is now just a few hours away, while your desire to cook dwindled away sometime between burning yesterday's green bean casserole and washing gravy off your 25 guests' plates. To help get you back in the mood, here are the Top 5 suggestions for easy, Jewish-inspired leftover goodies.

	Leftovers: What leftovers? Little Joshie looked much too thin - that shiksa mother of his doesn't feed him enough. Better he should take home a little of my stuffing than have it - God forbid - sitting on my zaftig hips for years to come.
	Turkey Soup with Noodles: Ok, so it isn't exactly bubbe's famous chicken soup recipe. But oy! the extra turkey! Besides, what do noodles know from a little turkey in place of chicken broth?
	Mashed Potatoes: There's not much you can do with leftover mashed potatoes - but you wise mamaleh, you thought ahead and bought the ten-pound sack of Yukon gold's at the supermarket knowing that Chanukah (and golden fried latkes) are just two weeks away.
	Cranberry Sauce: Canned, fresh - whatever. Just add prunes (ahem, dried plums), apricots, and a little sugar, heat and stir. Easiest tzimmes you ever made. Convincing people to eat it is the tough part.
	Pumpkin Pie: Chances are, with Aunt Minnie around, the pumpkin pie disappeared slowly but steadily over the course of Thanksgiving eve. If you're lucky enough to have salvaged a piece from her mouth (or the pieces she stuffed in her purse for later), it makes a better breakfast than even the sweetest babka.

Bad for your body, good for the environmentPretty soon, you'll be able to feel less guilty about eating Frito-Lay's chips. But not because they're reducing their fat content or switching to healthier ingredients. What Frito-Lay is embarking on is even better: an ambitious plan to completely change the way one of their factories, in Casa Grande, AZ, operates by taking it off the power grid and running it almost entirely on renewable fuels and recycled water. The concept is called net zero, and is backed by the highest corporate execs at PepsiCo, the parent company. Of course, there are benefits besides helping the environment:

Like many other large corporations, PepsiCo is striving to establish its green credentials as consumers become more focused on climate change. There are marketing opportunities, too. The company, for example, intends to advertise that its popular SunChips snacks are made using solar energy.

Regardless of all the motives involved, this really is a step in the right direction. A huge step:

Over the next several years, Frito-Lay plans to install high-tech filters that would recycle most of the water used to rinse and wash potatoes, as well as the corn used to make Doritos and other snacks, and then burn the leftover sludge to create methane gas to run the plant’s boiler.

The company will also build at least 50 acres of solar concentrators behind the plant to generate solar power. A biomass generator, which will probably burn agricultural waste, is also planned to provide additional renewable fuel.

The retrofit of the Casa Grande factory, scheduled to be completed by 2010, would reduce electricity and water consumption by 90 percent and its natural gas use by 80 percent. Greenhouse gas emissions would be cut by 50 percent to 75 percent, the company said.

Frito-Lay hopes the project will help the company save money on energy costs, particularly as oil prices approach $100 a barrel. What works in Casa Grande, one of 37 plants it operates in the United States and Canada, would then be replicated at other sites where possible.

Mmmmm...who's craving Doritos?

My friend Simon spent his day pulling feathers out of turkeys.  While I clicked away at a keyboard in my office, he plucked - getting these just-slaughtered birds ready for their Thanksgiving debut.

It's almost Thanksgiving - do you know where your turkey's from?Simon is the founder of Kosher Conscience, an ethical kosher meat coop in NYC.  Don't let the word ethical fool you.  A self described "vigorous carnivore," he is about the farthest thing from a. a vegetarian or b. a hippie as one can possibly get.  He also has a seriously learned Jewish background on which he bases his ethical grounding - which is more than can be said for many Jews out there who wax zealous about "eco-kashrut," (ahem, myself included). 

Kosher Conscience has no intention of surreptitiously convincing Jews to eat less meat - you can leave that to PETA.  Instead, it answers the question: how do you enjoy the simcha of meat" without being soulless about it? 

For Simon, it seems the answer is: know where your meat comes from (by partnering with local farms), insist on certain standards (free range, organic), know how it's being killed (by partnering with an equally local shochet), and get as close to the process as possible.  Most of the people who will eat Kosher Conscience turkeys next week did not spend today up to their tucheses in turkey feathers.  They did not witness the process of an animal moving from a living, breathing being to the sacred gift of food.  But they know the person who did.  A bird like that is far more "thanks-inducing" than the plastic-wrapped Butterball variety the supermarket.

This Thanksgiving turkey schecting marks Kosher Conscience's first significant project.  Simon says, "The goal of Kosher Conscience is ultimately to be unneccesary- the concepts of kashrut and prevention of tsar baalei chayim should be synonymous and will, hopefully, be regulated as such by the present hechsher systems." 

The particularly powerful thing about Kosher Conscience is that, like CSAs, kosher, ethical meat co-ops have the potential to grow virally, sprouting up in communities across the country wherever there's interest (and a willing farmer and shochet, which at first might be a limiting factor).  Whether or not these coops will ever impact the major hechsher systems remains to be seen - unfortunately, when it comes to ethical anything, the big guys decidedly lean towards the "soulless" category. 

Is there anything better than a good brunch? I’ve always been obsessed with breakfast food, but inviting anyone over for breakfast means asking them to get up early, which is kind of mean. Brunch, though, can be as late as one in the afternoon, and can include both more substantial dishes in addition to breakfasty favorites. Yesterday I had over seven friends for a wonderful and relaxing brunch. I’m including my menu below. The best part about this is that I was able to do most of the work the night before so that I could just wake up Sunday morning and everything was already mostly done.
This is Not Exactly What I Look Like At Brunch: but it's close
Menu:
Corn Fritters with Mediterranean Tomato Dipping Sauce
Brie platter
Crème Brulee French Toast
Roasted Red Pepper and Goat Cheese Frittata
Beet, Walnut and Goat Cheese Salad
Pear and Pistachio cake
Morning After Coffee Cake

Does this ever happen to you? You have this great idea, but instead of realizing it, you just sit on your ass and do nothing? And then somebody else does it, and you bitch and moan about how you came up with that idea years ago?

Well, that happened to me this weekend, except instead of feeling all left in the dust, I'll just give praise to the Queen's University Hillel.They initiated a program called Soul Food, where volunteer students take untouched, leftover food from the dining hall to the Street Mission Truck, a hollowed-out truck where homeless people can go to get warm and fed.

Excess meals are always on hand after donating to the truck, so the volunteers bring the rest to a local shelter. The meals are given to a different shelter each time, so they do not create dependence, said Tyler Peikes, one of the program’s creators.

According to Peikes, the idea for the Soul Food program was born when a number of Queen’s students attended a conference for the Canadian Federation of Jewish Students. One of the subjects of the conference was giving back to the community.

The students were inspired, and began looking for a cause to help out with around Kingston. They decided to target homelessness with their volunteer efforts because it is a visible problem, said Peikes. They looked at the work of the Ve’ahavta, a non-profit organization that runs a number of international humanitarian projects, as well as work in Toronto.

So much food goes to waste every day from restaurants and college cafeterias and large, catered events. Shouldn't this type of program exist in more places?

I'm cursed blessed with a classic Jewish body.

Well, that's
not entirely true, as the German Protestant half of my family shows up
in my height and blond hair. But my, ahem, lower half is 100% old
country. So, I understand every Jewish woman's fear of "wearing"
everything she eats on her hips. What I don't understand is the
emerging trend of literally wearing food. (Nor the equally bizarre
inverse - eating clothing.)

Something tells me the model didn't partake in any of the cookie goodness

According to The Daily Grub:
"Pastry chef Zac Young of Butter has teamed up with designer Nicole
Romano to showcase what they consider their masterpiece: "Bakewear," a
tempting — and totally edible — dress...Young talked about how model
Ashley Young would be sporting the frock — which is made of 600 cookies
— 'She's gonna be outside in the freezing cold with her ta-tas getting
all hard, breaking my cookies!'"

Yes, you got that right. A pastry chef and a designer teamed up to make
a dress out of...cookies. "6 pounds of chocolate, 8 pounds of butter,
600 cookies, and zero fabric," to be exact. Don't choke on the gold

Exhibit B: Diamonds and Ice Cream
The Jew & The Carrot asks:
What do you get when you cross:
A blend of 28 cocoas (including 14 of the most expensive and exotic
around the globe), 5 grams of edible 23-karat gold, served in a goblet
lined with edible gold, an 18-karat gold bracelet at the bottom of the
goblet (with 1 karat of diamonds), and whipped cream covered in more
gold and a side of La Madeline au Truffle, which sells for $2,600/pound?

The Frozzen (yes two zs) Haute Chocolate, a $25,000 desert from Serendipity 3 in New York City."

Where does this new obsession to EAT jewelry and WEAR food come from?
Yes, we area nation obsessed with over-top-excess. And yes, we have a
collective bad habit of wastefulness. (Perhaps these are the only
explanations necessary.) But have we truly reached a point when ice
cream sundaes need to be dressed up by edible gold and diamonds, and
when designers have deemed fabric passe? The thought leaves me a
little sick to my stomach.

News flash: following in the footsteps of 5 Towns in Long Island, Staten Island finally got its first kosher Dunkin Donuts.  (Hooray?)

Even stranger - this story made front page news in the Jewish Week's online edition.  Staff Writer, Tamar Snyder, writes:

Now, in an island short on kosher options, Jewish Staten Islanders are on a sugar high, clearing the powdery shelves at the new strictly kosher Dunkin’ Donuts, the first of its kind on the island. Turns out Jewish Islanders can’t get enough powdered munchkins, blueberry muffins and egg-and-cheese sandwiches. And of course, Dunkin’s coffee.

So, does the OU certify obesity and heart attacks too?

Like many assimilated Jewish children, I grew up an all-out, costume-wearing, candy-trading, Halloween-celebrating kid. I didn't know from pagan rituals or the occult - I just wanted to run around my neighborhood in a ballerina costume, crunching through the leaves and acquiring as many Snickers bars (and as few Smarties) as I could fit in a pillow case.

The fruit of the devil?Now, as an adult living in pluralistic New York, I've come across many Jews who did not grow up celebrating the candy ghoulish holiday. Honestly, I find the adamant anti-Halloween sentiment a little bit hard to swallow - as the writer of this article in the j.weekly says, "Not every holiday or happening has to be moral and meaningful, nurturing or nourishing. Occasionally fun is the operative objective."

But instead of waxing defensive over Halloween, I want to hear from you! Are you someone who grew up in a traditional Jewish household - not celebrating Halloween - who now trick-or-treats like a fiend? Did you grow up carving pumpkins, but now think the holiday smacks of dangerous paganism? Are you newly religious (or newly not) and trying to figure out how to explain your thoughts on Halloween to your kids?

Let's hear it - trick - or - treat.

An observant friend of mine celebrates Purim every year with a ‘trayf night -” the one night a year he willingly – even actively – eats non-kosher food. Purim, he figures, is all about shaking things up and turning daily realities upside down (well, that and getting wasted). What better night to indulge in all the delicious trayf foods he abstains from the rest of the year?

Whether you’re a total trayf abstainer, an occasional trayfer, or an everyday trayf eater – here is a list of the unkosher foods that Jews love to hate.

Shrimp Cocktail – Shrimp started the Reform movement – no really! According to Wikipedia, “On July 11, 1883, a dinner was held in Cincinnati celebrating the ordination of the Reform Jewish seminary's first class of rabbis. It was a sumptuous feast of Little Neck clams on the half shell, soft-shell crab and shrimp salad, along with beef fillet and ice cream. The meal quickly gained notoriety for abrogating every rule of kashrut, the Jewish dietary laws, except the prohibition against pork.” Judaism never tasted so good!

Bacon Cheeseburger – What other food offers not one, but three different opportunities (milk and meat, unkosher beef, and sweet, sweet bacon) to trayf it up in one, delicious bite? All the melty, porky goodness…the thought even makes this vegetarian a little weak in the knees.

Lobster – Remember that beautiful blond girl who sat in your English Lit class at Princeton? You know the one. She ate lobster – she ate it on beautiful china at the family country club, delicately cracking open the claws and dipping the meat in a rich buttery sauce? Keep dreaming yid kids - lobster may be fancy and sophisticated, but it’s trayfer than the day is long.

Clam Chowder – Whether you prefer the creamy white kind from New England, or the tomato-tinged version from Manhattan, there’s no denying that a bowl of warm clam chowder dotted with salty oyster crackers holds a special place on a cold, rainy day. Unless you don’t eat clam, in which case, pass the matzah balls!

Pepperoni Pizza – When Subway went kosher, the cheese got sacked – because if you have to pick between meat and cheese, the choice for most Jews is painfully clear. Not so with pizza. Since the dawn of the first pizza, Jews have had to suffer through milchig-only pies.

Stinky Fish: not kosherIt's a simple fact of life: If you're not partaking in the meal, other people's fish smells bad.  Not always, but often.  There are other foods in the "if you're not eating them, they stink" category, for example cauliflower, which can reek up to high heaven.  Trust me, my olfactory set-up is unrivaled.  Case in point:

"What's that smell," my mother asked last week, as we walked our dogs together through her dense, urban neighborhood.  She sniffed, she snuffed, she couldn't quite place it.  

"It's a potato knish," I said.  "About two blocks away."  I'd been enjoying its aroma for the past few minutes.  

"You're right," she exclaimed.  "How do you do that?" 

I shit you not.  I can't explain it, it's just the way I'm built.  The nose knows.  That's why I can sympathize with the passengers and flight crew who freaked out about a stinky, stanky fish dinner brought on board a United Airlines flight last week.  The family guilty of bringing the noxious nourishment onto the flight happen to be religious Jews, the meal happened to be kosher, and now the subtle scent of antisemitism is permeating the eternally recirculated air.  

"As you can see, I wear these holy fringes. I wear a kepa. My son wears a kepa," Robert Blum said, according to WBNS-10. "And maybe that's what the steward saw. And I am sure it was. Because why did he single us out?"

Well, buddy--taking into account my aforementioned olfactory superpowers, my guess is that you were singled out because you were stinkin' up the cabin.  We all know how much it sucks when someone subjects their fellow flyers to an unnecessarily foul-smelling meal.  The least you can do is choose something inoffensive.  Malodorous mistakes aside, was the Blum family subjected to unusually rude treatment because of their Judaism? They're claiming that it was a classic case of discrimination: 

"He said, 'I don't want you eating that food on the plane,'" Blum said of a flight attendant, who told him passengers were complaining about the smell of the fish.

"He said, 'I don't want the food on the plane. If you don't trash the food, I'll trash you. You'll get off the plane, you and your wife and your kids,'" said Blum.

Blum said the pilot harassed him about the food as well.

"The pilot says to me, 'are you going to give us any more trouble because I have to worry about 220 passengers smelling your stinking food?'" Blum contended.

The confrontation created a scene on the plane forcing Blum to throw the food away when the pilot threatened to throw the family off the plane.

Sounds like a regular old flight to me.  So, what have we learned?  Kosher fish on a plane is not kosher in the colloquial sense if it stinks.  Flying sucks, but it sucks worse for everyone if you unleash a stench, so choose wisely, and should you opt for the fish, make sure it's fresh.  

Osem: in cahoots with baby killazIt was kind of a bummer when Nestle acquired a majority stake in Osem, back in the mid 1990s. Not because I'm some purist, or anti-corporations, but because Nestle is one of the worst. The company is guilty of everything from breaches of the 1981 WHO Code regulating the marketing of breast milk substitutes, to employee exploitation, to testing on animals.

Osem Mini Croutons: tainted loveMy happy memories of standing in the pantry, eating fistfuls of those addictive mini croutons straight from the jar are now tainted by the knowledge that the producer of said croutons has a deal with the devil. Why would anyone want to partner with a company that's been being actively boycotted since 1977?

Osem went into business with world-accused baby-killers, making them complicit. Now, in an ironic twist, Nestle's Osem subsidiary has purchased a controlling stake in Materna, Israel's largest manufacturer of infant formula.

Osem Investments Ltd. (TASE: OSEM), controlled by Nestle (SWX:NESN) has acquired 51% of infant formula maker Materna Ltd. from Maabarot Products Ltd. (TASE: MABR) for NIS 249 million, reflecting a company value of NIS 488 million. Materna accounts for 55% of Maabarot’s activity.

Materna has the largest share of Israel’s infant formula market, and Osem has refrained from marketing Nestle brand formula in Israel. Osem CEO Gazi Kaplan has always said, however, that the company would enter the market, either through an acquisition or by launching a new product.

Sadly, by patronizing Osem, consumers are essentially contributing to Nestle's global profits at the cost of LEDC's babies' lives. Adieu, yummy Osem Mini Croutons. Adieu, and לְהִתְרָאוֹת.

Mmmm: This would go great with chocolateIt turns out that putting spinach in brownies is common knowledge.

Apparently, Jessica Seinfeld's book Deceptively Delicious (Collins) contains many of the same recipes found in Missy Chase Lapine's The Sneaky Chef (Running Press), another recent cookbook that advocates hiding purreed vegetables in kids' favorite foods.

Interestingly, Lapine's book was rejected by HarperCollins twice, right before they won an auction to publish Seinfeld's book. Steve Ross, president and publisher of Collins (an imprint of HarperCollins), said the company rejected Lapine's book because it was too similar to another title on its list.

Lapine says she was "uncomfortable" seeing some of her recipe ideas in Seinfeld's book, but no legal action is being taken (yet, at least).

Seinfeld attributes the similarities between the books to coincidence, and says, "I don't need to copy someone's idea. I've got enough going on in my life." She goes on to say that she wishes there were 10 more books like hers, and that she's in this to help families. Aww. I believe you, Jessica, I really do!

Obviously, hiding veggies in kid's food is becoming trendy. If you have any inclination to do this, I urge you to author a cookbook ASAP! Jessica Seinfeld won't mind.

The World Jewish Digest recently published an article called, "What's Wrong with Hebrew School?" which outlines the myriad of practical and philosophical problems that plague everyone's favorite punishment for Jewish kids. The question sits heavily on the shoulders of Jewish communal leaders, and deeply in the troubled guts of anyone who ever attended Hebrew School (AFTER a full day of secular school, no less).

Corn fedYes, it's a good question - but it actually got me thinking about a different question: What's wrong with the food we eat? I don't approach this query as some liberal foodie snob (though I might be that as well). I approach it as someone who is startled by the fact that the food we eat in this country, actually makes us sick. The National Institute of Health reported that obesity threatens to lower Americans' life expectancy by up to 5 years over the next few decades. Obesity. Not war, or AIDS, or global warming. This is largely due to the fact that America's food industry is run on cheap, government subsidized corn, which is mostly turned into unhealthy, antibiotic-filled cows or corn syrup, starch, or solids. (Try this futile experiment, the next time you walk down the aisle in your grocery store, try to find a three packaged food products that do not contain corn.) Corn - not the stuff eaten on the cob in summer, the stuff the government pays industrial farmers to overproduce, is making us fat. And that, in turn, is giving us diabetes and threatening to kill us.

I'm certainly not the first person to point out the connection between the