Please, please, please: be careful.I was reading tonight about the rabbi who wrote a letter of apology to her congregation after being busted for driving under the influence. Rabbi Amy Bernstein of Temple Israel in Duluth, Minnesota had apparently shared a bottle of wine with a few people and then was speeding home in hopes of arriving before her daughter's bedtime when she was pulled over for going about 75 in a 55 mph zone on an icy night with a .11 percent blood-alcohol level.

There are some cringe worthy factors in her situation-- drinking and driving, icy weather, speeding-- at .11 she wasn't sober but she likely wasn't completely wasted, either, and it's not uncommon to drive over the speed limit, and certainly not unusual in the least for a parent to step on the gas a little in anticipation of time with their children. Fair enough. And, Rabbi Bernstein wrote a very humble and, I thought, beautiful letter to her congregation stating, “We have got to be really attentive to our own inner lives and our own best practices and the need to slow down in general — the need to stay centered and whole so that we don’t get careless. Because that’s what happened — I got careless. Those of us who teach about that need to take our own advice.’’ Rabbi Bernstein, who has been planning to take a three-month sabbatical in Israel since before this incident then wrote, "“This incident has shocked me into awareness that there are several important things that need my careful attention right now. I promise to make my time in Israel a time of real inner work and careful reflection on the meaning and direction of my life.’’

I like her letter. Her congregation is standing behind her, and I think that's honorable and I would hope I would and could do to same if my own rabbi was in Rabbi Bernstein's shoes. Also in her letter, she wrote, “… This has been a traumatic wake-up call for me and I can only beg your forgiveness and promise that it will, of course, not happen again.”

Personally, I hope she means what she wrote, which I'm sure she does. I'm sure she's a fine person, a wonderful person, even, and I don't think she's a bad person for what she did. But more than anything else, I hope her congregation was listening, and I hope with everything I have that her congregation took her words personally, and took them in and will think very hard about their own actions.

You see, that is my hope because, I have a little bit different perspective on DUI. I lost a beloved family member to a drunk driver when she was only twenty-four years old. The driver responsible for her death was, like Rabbi Bernstein, driving with honorable intentions, eager to reach family on the other side of his drive. He was certainly a fine enough and well-liked person in the community, certainly not meaning to hurt anyone and, I honestly believe, absolutely not intending to kill anyone, but, in his case, tragically and quite accidentally, did.

If you have a problem with alcohol and you are ready, please consider talking to your Rabbi or family, or whoever, or maybe touching base with JACS, or checking out many of the meetings that are starting to be held in shuls now, instead of just churches. A lot of us, and I'll be the first to admit I've caught myself thinking this, have this thinking that we, Jews, because of reverential feelings for kiddush or for whatever reason, are somehow exempt from alcohol-related issues, but it's just not true and I've got to think that we're doing ourselves a major disservice by not recognizing members of our community who need our support.

But, let me be completely clear. I only mention substance dependency because we're talking about booze, but I do not, under any circumstances, think that people who are driving under the influence are alcoholics. Some probably are, but, honestly, I worry more about the casual drinkers. We all keep our eyes on the big boozers in the circles we run in and we know not to let them drive under any circumstances. But, the casual drinkers who just catch a nice buzz then decide to head home seem like they're not doing too terrible of a thing, as if surely the "don't drink and drive" slogans aren't talking about them, surely not, but let me tell you under no uncertain terms that it only take a moment of lapsed judgment or a second of delayed reaction to make everything horribly different. And, let's be honest, we've all probably, at one time or another in our lives, driven or started to drive and only then realized we maybe were a little in the cups. We've probably all driven at one point when we probably should have not.

So, it's my hope that we all really think very carefully of Rabbi Bernstein's words, not only on this issue, but in many areas of our lives, and that we take them very personally and really hear them:

"We have got to be really attentive to our own inner lives and our own best practices and the need to slow down in general — the need to stay centered and whole so that we don’t get careless."

Challah for Hunger: Creative loafing.Tonight, I was hanging out with a couple of friends, talking about this and that and a conversation about poaching pears turned into a conversation about baking which turned into a conversation about a particular challah recipe, which turned into the discovery that only a couple of degrees of separation stood between me and this organization: Challah for Hunger. I headed home, Googled it up, and, well, that pretty much brings us up to right now.

In an incredible stroke of luck, it being Social Justice Tuesday and all, the very first sentence seen upon entering the site is: "Challah for Hunger is a national organization centered around activism and social justice." Blammo. It continues, "With our weekly challah sales, we raise money and awareness for the victims of the genocide in the Sudan. Challah for Hunger has sent more than $20,000 to relief organizations and thousands of letters to Washington, urging elected officials to take action. We also work to inspire others, both on our campuses and around the world, to take a stand against genocide."

At the moment, there aren't too many chapters of this organization, but the site provides tons of information for starting your very own chapter. You can of course support their efforts by purchasing your challah from a chapter near you, as well, and if you take a little time and write a letter to an elected official or media outlet about Darfur, they'll give you a discount. Looking for inspiration? They have a sample letter available and links that point you to places to get a little more information or to find other ways to help the crisis in Darfur.

Thomas Jefferson: bringing religious freedom to you, since 1786A day devoted to commemorating "the passage of Thomas Jefferson's Virginia Statute for Religious Freedom" came and went, and I had no idea it even existed. Did you? So, while Britney's potential conversion to Islam (which I posted about on Religious Freedom Day) and problems of intermarriage (which Tamar posted about on Religious Freedom Day) are of obvious interest and importance (especially Britney, duh), I feel kind of remiss in my "faith and belief" reporting duties. Religious Freedom Day: We'll be ready for you on January 16, 2009!

Meanwhile, back at the ranch: A New York Sikh man was the victim of an unprovoked attack in Queens last week. His assailant apparently called him an Arab before punching him outside of his gurdwara.

An op-ed in the Jerusalem Post asserts that by insisting on the Lubavitcher Rebbe's role as messiah, they "diminish rather than aggrandize him," and claims that what made the Rebbe so great to begin with was that, like us, he was just another mortal.

In Pakistan, two more suspects have been arrested in the assassination of former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto, and violence broke out along the Pakistan/Afghanistan border yesterday in response to the Shiite holiday of Ashura.

Finally, Ashura wreaked havoc in Iraq as well, where militants used everything from bombs to gunfire to rockets in their attacks on pilgrims observing the holiday.

(I'm an oft-multi-tasking dumb-ass, and failed to save this post, written prior to Shabbes, properly, so we'll operate in the better-late-than-ever/glad-I-decided-to-work-on-Sunday mindset, yes? Great. In any case, I beg your pardon.)

In November, I remember reading about a Jewish cemetery near Baltimore getting vandalized and thinking, "What if surviving relatives can't afford to restore the headstones?" and only paragraphs later reading a spokesperson's statement:

For gravestones that cannot be traced to a family, Mr. Cohn said the congregation will likely absorb the cost of repair, which he said will be about $125 per stone. He said the cemetery – which likely dates back to the mid-19th century, according to the congregation—is not insured for vandalism, and perpetual care only covers the upkeep of the grounds.

“Morally and ethically, it’s our responsibility. But legally, it’s not. Families will have to pay for it, and we feel very, very bad about this,” said Mr. Cohn, who noted that the congregation plans to install high-intensity lighting at the cemetery. “It will cost us, it will cost the families, and we’ll absorb what we can. But it’s limited. Where are the funds? It’s not like, bingo, we have the funds.”

If you want to fuck with me: then fuck with me. Not dead people.On Jan 1st, a Jewish cemetery back east in New Brunswick, NJ was vandalized, and I quickly found mention of a restoration fund in an article reporting the arrest of the teenagers responsible for the damage.

About a week ago, here in Chicago where I live, someone, or a group of someones probably, broke onto the grounds of Westlawn Jewish cemetery and vandalized gravestones with swastikas, line-slashed Magen David symbols, threats, slogans... the usual hate graffiti schtick.

Anyway, the price tag on getting things back in order is estimated to be between $100,000 and $150,000 and thought there are some unclear bits of information floating around here, it seems that the financial responsibility is falling upon surviving families. I haven't heard anything official from the JUF, as far as funds being used to offset their expenses, but I'm sure it's either forthcoming, or I've just yet to track it down. In any case, the cost is going to be considerable, every bit will surely count, and my feeling is that because hate against some of us is hate against all of us, and so responsibility also falls equally.

I'm sure earmarked donations would be welcome here:

Westlawn Cemetery and Mausoleum (Vicki Pulido, General Manager), 7801 W. Montrose Avenue, Chicago, Illinois 60706
(773) 625-8600

And the award: goes to....Okay, okay, so a couple of shitstorms this week. We're a discussion-ey people, these things happen. Predictably, I sat down to write a post about Benjamin E coming to Tamar's defense over the Shomer Negiah post and breaking things down into smaller units of discussion to keep the fight clean and productive, and Tamar's subsequent declaration of love to Benjamin E. Comment of the Week Gold, let me assure you.

But, I realized nobody really touched the anonymous comment that not only missed the point of the comment it was in response to, but named Conservadoxy invalid Judaism, and rather boldly marched into the territory of what movement of Judaism one feels they are a part of versus being declared unfit to be in the movement of Judaism one feels they are a part of. While there is a lot to discuss there, well, there is something not-quite-right to me about declaring an anonymous comment the comment of the week (Oh, I'll catch it right in the face for that, I'm sure).

Hang on, hear me out. I don't mean anything mean by it-- anyone has the right to post anonymously if they'd like, but I think there's something to be said for leaving your name. In a way, when I see an anonymous commenter leaving something really ballsy, I feel for them. I can't help but wonder if the commenter is able to be assertive in their real life. Unfortunately, in my experience a lot of us take anonymous comments rather lightly because somewhere, we're thinking, "Forget it. If s/he really meant that, s/he would have claimed it." It's easy to say something potentially volatile if nobody knows who you are, but some part of me questions the motive for posting anonymously. Do you not really believe in what you're saying? Are you afraid someone will be angry with you if you say what you really think? Just things I wonder about, because I can't possibly fathom the motivation for posting both aggressively and anonymously. I'm mean that. What's the worst that could happen if we all just said what we thought, you know, as ourselves? Really, I'm trying to nudge/encourage more than I am out to rag anyone.

But, I'm getting off task here. The real shocker to me, and thus, the Comment of the Week is that it was not until the eleventh comment that someone inquired about the Shomer Negiah panties. Respectful, eyes-averted, modest hat tip to Soccer.

Just like your best friend in junior high school who returned from summer vacation with boobs and a haircut, two New York Jewish landmarks are getting some extra attention due to recent makeovers. The Eldridge Street Synagogue, once home to pigeons and decay, has been refurbished to its 1907 glory, while the Kaufman Center has a new airy redesign thanks to Robert A.M. Stern. For more, check out this article in New York Magazine, or better yet, go catch a glimpse of these historic places in person.

Jewish Living Magazine has just released their list of "Hip Hebraic Homepages" and tipped me off once the list was ready. For reasons quite obvious once you reach the end (kvell, kvell, kvell), I just had to share. Taken straight from Jewish Living:

SHUL OF ROCK

www.jewsrock.org Chaim Witz, Perry Bernstein, Jeffrey Hyman. Half the fun of Jewsrock is finding out the given names of pop icons like Gene Simmons, Perry Farrell, and Joey Ramone, respectively. You can also tour the rock ’n’ roll “Challah Fame” or take the “Jew or Not?” quiz. Between the lines, there’s a serious message about pride in Jewish accomplishments, and a dedication to smashing my-son-the-dentist stereotypes. Alas, the Web site appears to have gone static, but is no less rockin’ for it

KOSHER COMEDY

www.bangitout.com When a site bills itself as “kosher comedy for the circumcised,” expect few sacred cows. Part gimlet-eyed news digest, part Onion-like satire, and part self-tweaking Jewish social club, BangItOut mashes raucous headlines (“New Book Helps Rabbis Stay Away From Hot Widows”), amusing photos (the Barbie menorah is a favorite), and see-it-to-believe-it videos (don’t miss the hilarious “jPhone” commercial). As their site promises, “If something’s funny and Jewish on the Internet, it’s either on here or linked from here.”

COME ON, FEEL THE “OYS”

www.klezmershack.com As this site points out, “klezmer is a popular music form that is no longer exclusively Jewish.” Likewise, KlezmerShack isn’t just about klezmer anymore; it’s blossomed into a one-stop shop for news about Jewish music, hot cultural events worldwide, reviews, even music videos grabbed from YouTube (you haven’t lived until you’ve heard “A Hard Day’s Night” in Yiddish). Webmaster Ari Davidow—an online strategist for a Jewish nonprofit by day—oversees the festivities with charm, wit, and infectious joy.

COOLEST JEWISH RECORD LABEL ON EARTH

www.jdubrecords.org If your knowledge of Jewish music stretches from “Hava Nagila” to… “Hava Nagila,” expand your horizons at the online home of JDub, the coolest Jewish record label on the planet. You’ll impress your kids with casual references to ultrahip bands like Golem, Balkan Beat Box, Socalled, and the LeeVees. Then the whole family can download inimitable JDub videos and songs (like all four segments of Socalled’s mystical sci-fi, hip-hop Claymation opus “500-Pound Planet”). Who says parents and kids can’t agree on music?

SCHMOOZE, SHVITZ, SHOP

 www.jewcy.com What began as a retailer of risqué rags (the “Chai Maintenance” T-shirt was a fave) has become the center of Jewish hipsterism’s new wave. The shirts are still there, but so is smart original reporting and opinion, a vibrant social network, and much discussed blogs such as “The Daily Shvitz” and “Faithhacker.” Brains, attitude, and sheer chutzpah make Jewcy a daily must-read.

 Good Shabbes, all. Mwah.

So I’ve returned from all of my far-flung travels. I spent an inordinant amount of time in Golders Green in London, and had one of the best Shabbatot of my life in Oxford. Someone confessed his love to me, and someone else told me to go to rabbinical school and I pretty much didn’t sleep for more than a week. I got made fun of for being a Stupid American more than I’m really comfortable with.
BAers: looking busy

One of the things that struck me most about my time in England is how different Jewish youth groups are in the UK than in the States. In high school, I was very active in USY, the Conservative youth group. This meant that I helped plan and staff events for other teenagers, but I was always supervised by adult staff members who basically ran the show. In the UK, programming is planned and carried out almost entirely by members and former members of the youth group. There are no “adults” per se. Seventeen-, eighteen- and nineteen-year-olds plan week-long camps for younger members of whatever group they’re involved in (Noam, Bnei Akiva, FZY etc.) from beginning to end. They staff all programming, and train other counselors, and do all of the preparation and cleanup work. As a result, I’ve never met so many youth group fanatics as you’re likely to find in the UK.

I wish I could share Matthue’s optimism about the Jewish community in the UK, but for the most part I see it as a divided and cold atmosphere. But the youth groups really are a light at the end of the tunnel. There is so much that youth groups in the US could learn from this kind of initiative and innovation, and I really wish there was a more formal partnership between English and American counterparts of the same organizations. I’m not aware of such a partnership already in existence, but until something like that is created, check out the websites of the big Jewish youth groups in the UK. There’s Bnei Akiva, The Federation for Zionist Youth, Noam, and Netzer.

Trees everywhere: need to be hugged.I really love Tu B'Shevat. All the things I want and appreciate in a holiday, it has. In years past, I've both attended and held gorgeous, meaningful sederim for the day and unfortunately have to report that I'm not going quite as all-out this year as I did last year. But, that's okay. (PS- Read Helen Jupiter's lovely post about Tu B'Shevat for inspiration.)

Of course, I'm still going to give tzedekah. In addition to the usual JNF Plant-a-Tree program that I often use, as most of us probably have (I do appreciate the environmental work JNF does, among other things) I've unearthed (no pun intended) a few other opportunities for you to love trees if you're thinking of adding another tree, in addition to perhaps an Israeli tree, to your tzedekah this week.

Continue reading...

Jewish-German community leaders are pissed.

A smoking ban just went into effect in Germany and opponents of said ban have been selling t-shirts online that feature the ol' Judenstern we had to wear back in the day. Only, instead of "Jude", the star on the t-shirts said "Raucher" (smoker), to suggest that discrimination against smokers is not unlike anti-Semitism in Nazi Germany.

Judenstern: Way to bring up old shit.The shirts went on sale online in the days before the smoking ban in ten out of Germany's sixteen states, which went into effect on New Year's Day. Dennis Kramer of DPM, the marketers behind the shirt said citizens needed to be aware of "disgraceful discrimination against smokers" in bars and restaurants and called the shirts "the most aggressive smokers' resistance shirt available" but added he only "wanted to show that smokers are being discriminated against in bars". The website has since been shut down, but a couple of websites seem to still be selling the shirts.

Germany's Central Council of Jews called the t-shirts "crude, brainless and tasteless" and added that anyone who "compares the plight of the Jews during the Third Reich to smokers who are thought to be discriminated against" to be people who have learned "absolutely nothing". Dieter Graumann, the deputy president of the Central Council of Jews in Germany said, "This is an absolute abuse of the Jewish genocide... It is a scandal to exploit the murder of the Jews in order to symbolize the people's desire to smoke." But, it might be more than just a matter of taste-- In Itzehoe, where DPM is based, prosecutors confirmed a formal investigation has been launched to establish whether they could prosecute, being that the display of Nazi symbols is prohibited under German law. Obviously.