"She's clearly Jewish
enough for Hitler, and that, friends, means she's Jewish enough for me."

What other aspects of Hitler's Nazi ideology do you personally accept as the final, definitive word about Jews and Judaism in addition to "Who is a Jew?" 

Since we're talking movies, a just-released flick Feast of Love, from Charles Baxter's novel of the same name, has deracinated the edgy, intellectual Jewish couple in the book, giving the roles to Morgan Freeman and Jane Alexander.

Unlike the book, the movie's been panned, but there's supposed to be a lot of female nudity so I might yet check it out.

Speaking of which, Elisa!!! How This Night is Different is one of the funniest things I've read this century! Too bad the stories are too Jewish to ever get a film adaptation, but maybe that's for the best.

Since when does frumpy equate with Jewish? And why is this reported as fact? where are all the nay-sayers to this kind of stereotyped notion?

First of all, props for using a word I thought only my mother still uses.

 And on Paltrow's insistence that "physicalizing [her] New York Jewish half" means looking frumpy, I wonder what she would make of this: During the infamous transit strike, I was stopped on the street by a complete stranger who was holding a map and looking desperate.

He was in town for a work meeting, he explained, and he had planned to go to the Guggenheim to see some art before heading out to his plane at 5:30 in a hired car.  It was already pretty late and he wanted to know how he could get to the Guggenheim without a car from the corner of 8th Street and 6th Avenue in Greenwich Village.   And his hired car was picking him up in Tribeca or somewhere ridiculously far from the Guggenheim.  I told him I wouldn't hold out much hope for his plan given the strike.  I suggested some downtown museums and galleries.

He asked if I would go into Starbucks with him for a second and just show him on the map.  He didn't seem like a creep.  I agreed.  I needed a caffeine boost.

We got to talking, and his plan for seeing art went out the window.  We chatted about cool indie stuff, progressive politics, and--how I manage to do this with complete strangers I don't know--religion.  Turns out, he's sort of a lapsed Jew.  And he can't believe I'm a CONVERT!

"You're not Jewish? By birth?"

"No, I converted pretty recently, actually.  Why?"

"You look Jewish."

"What do you mean?"

"I don't know.  It's sort of a style thing--the cool glasses, the cool clothing. Jewish."

I went out with a girl who wasn't Jewish in part just because she had that shtetl look, which I think is what both Paltrow and in her own way, Elisa, is disparaging. I don't think that understated look is unattractive at all. I think it's adorable.  

This is that rare occasion where I actually agree with you regarding your statement about the shtetl looking being attractive.

The best looking jews dont look jewish at all.

Being jewish means everybody hates you and you dont care. If everyboy wants to date you for your good looks (and not your money) you are non-jewish by definition.

What exactly is the problem with Gwyneth?

Jewish girls have big noses and whiney voices. They are tacky too-obsessed with money. I find they usually lack taste as well. My experience though-I'm sure ( at least hope) there are exceptions.

"whatever you do, do it completely"

Jewish women are beautiful!  All nazis are losers who live in the middle of nowhere and never travel more than 20 miles from their house.  The only Jews they see are the false stereotypical annoying characters on t.v. created by the Judenrats in Hollywood.  The ignorant assholes have never met a real Jewish woman.

Hey asshole, go do something useful like jumping in front of a speeding car.  You'll do humanity a favor.  The less nazi fucktards the better.

"Lighten up, Francis."

OK OK I agree with David Kelsey. But, watch out for "damned if you do and damned if you don't". If she is turned-out, sharp, and fly, she is a JAP from the designers, and, if she doesn't bother with all that and just puts on a cardigan sweater if she is cold, she's a frump? It's no-win! What is the poor girl supposed to do?

Yes, there is a middle ground: Jewish women have a sure touch, a "not-trying, but sharp" style. It's New York-y. Simple but knowledgeable. Men like sharp, but they can't stand to see a woman being obvious about it. It smacks of both manipulation, and insecurity; they don't think they can handle it, and they don't want to end up paying for it. They DO like her to look organized, and socially aware, but please, throw in some innocence somewhere. No matter what they say or ogle, they are annoyed by too much skin. If that's all she is, they might as well cut to the chase and gawk at Gwyneth Paltrow, who is a trained professional though getting on in years, poor thing.

Thinking about what David Kelsey said above, about how the shtetl look is "adorable" has completely turned my ideas inside out, which is what this kind of forum is for. Very interesting, David Kelsey. I am questioning everything I was thinking about this issue, because of you.