Parades, Willow Fights and Leviathan for Dinner: How to Rock Hoshana Raba, Shmini Atzeret and Simchat Torah

Today is Hoshana Raba, the last day of sukkot. During davening this morning we parade around the Torah seven times with our lulav and etrogs, and then we take the willow branches and beat the crap out of them, snapping them against the ground until all the leaves fall off. Later we’re supposed to have one last festive meal in the sukkah before the holiday officially ends.
Willow Says: beat me
But my favorite part about Hoshana Raba is that it’s our very last chance to get sealed in the book of Life. Even though we go through the whole song and dance on Yom Kippur about how the book is being sealed and we have to be written in it by the time the shofar is blown…or else—midrash says that actually we’ve got until tonight to finish our repenting. Some sources say you’ve got until Hanukkah! So if you’ve already fallen off your New Year’s resolution wagon, climb right back on, my friend. Jews are all about second chances (or seventh, or, you know, eighty-forth).

Then tonight starts the last of the three-day holidays this season. We’ve got Shmini Atzeret tomorrow, Simchat Torah on Friday, and regular old Shabbat taking up the rear. I know it’s hard to keep up momentum with all this craziness going on, but there are still some things to get psyched about.
Best. Whiskey. Ever.: (Seriously)
First of all, who doesn’t love seeing all the liquor come out at shul? I think it’s kind of weird, but mostly awesome. If you’re a whiskey drinker (and really, you should be, if you aren’t already) I highly recommend William Larue Weller, 15 year old bourbon. This is the whiskey that God drinks, people. If anything will make you love the Torah, it’s Weller.

Also, I’m a big fan of watching the differences between the dancing on the two sides of the mechitza. What I’ve noticed is that women do actual dances with actual steps, and men just kind of skip. If you’re not into the dancing, but you feel awkward standing on the sidelines I say go right in and grab a Torah. You basically kind of sway and walk in a circle, but it looks like you’re very involved in the action that way, and you don’t have to get sweaty.Interpretive Dance: doesn't belong in shul, if you ask me. Perfect. For an interesting JPost article on Orthodox women dancing with Torahs, click here.

Shmini Atzeret doesn’t do much for me, but we do say Yizkor and tefilat geshem, the prayer for rain, which is really pretty. (For more on rain, sukkot and praying for moisture, see this post that I wrote over Passover.) We also say the farewell to the sukkah prayer, which is all cute:

May it be Your will, God, our God and the God of our forefathers, that just as I have fulfilled the mitzvah and dwelt in this sukkah, so may I merit in the coming year to dwell in the sukkah of the skin of the Leviathan.

Leviathan: Yummy?
The skin of the Leviathan?? Yep. There’s a long complicated story in the Talmud (Bava Batra 74-75) about things that will happen once the Messiah comes, and one of them is that the Leviathan will fight this giant mythical Ox creature, the Behemoth. The two beasts will kill each other at the same time, and then their skin will be used to make a sukkah where the righteous people of the world will eat a big feast of their meat. And what could be more fun than a performative battle of mythical creatures concluding with eating meat while sitting under their carcasses?

Here’s hoping the next few days are fun and carcass free. Chag Sameach!