| Women's Work Doesn't Count | |
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by Laurel Snyder, March 26, 2007
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The Jewish Housewife: Does no "work"A few months back, I got to thinking about work. About Shabbat, and how we're all supposed to rest. About how our religion is VERY specific in its prohibition of labor on Saturday...
But our definition of what work is... bugs me. A lot. 39 Melachot? WTF?
I don't know why I never got around to ranting about this back when it crossed my mind, but the issue resurfaced yesterday, popped into my head as I was cleaning my house (finally!) and so I'm ranting now. Thank goodness it's never too late to rant.
Unlike a lot of people I know, the contempory extension of "work" as defined long long ago... is not a problem for me. Of course, it seems silly to root our definition of labor in a long-gone temple. It makes little sense to me that one is supposed to keep from lighting lights, and hence can't open the freezer door to get a friggin ice cube. But I'm usually okay with random and arbitrary rules. I'm okay with anachronism.
I'm not going to observe a rule like that anyway, so what do I care if someone else wants to drink warm soda?
What DOES bother me a lot is that it seems like the work that women (traditionally) do does NOT count as "work." Childcare, basic housekeeping, picking up...
And if that's not bad enbough... there's this handy stipulation (which I don't fully understand) that the "home" is a kind of free zone, and in traditional families, "home" is the domain of women... so...
If on Shabbat you carry a feather outside the private area into the public, you've "worked" but if you move a piano from the first floor to the second floor you have not "worked." Thus, it is not work as we understand it in English and use it most often.
Which means, I guess, that hubby can't go out and mow the lawn... but wifey is totally allowed to fix hubby a nice meal (so long as she doesn't turn on the stove), clean up the table after dinner, get the kids into jammies, etc. Hubby gets to sit and read his Torah, and rest... and wifey gets to enjoy hubby's enjoyment, surrounding by a bazillion kids.
All this after cooking all DAY friday so she wouldn't have to turn on the stove. Because she can't "work". Lucky wifey.
This chaps my hide.
So I want to issue a little challenge. I'm calling it the "Second Shabbat Challenge".
Basically, in homes that observe the tradional celebration of Shabbat... we need to create a second Shabbat. A special chunk of time, a day of rest set aside for the ladies. Because while the way we observe Shabbat may be beyond religious reproach... there's no halachic reason you can't create a whole new secular day of rest, to show your wife you appreciate her.
See, if wifey is going to make you a nice dinner while you sit and read... you should cook HER dinner on Sunday. Maybe you should take the kids to the park so SHE can read the fucking Torah for a minute.
Just a thought.
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Annie
It isn't a rest from work
so much as a rest from "creation." On the 7th day G-d rested from creation, so we too abstain from activities that are creative. Some sects of Judaism abstain from sex on the sabbath for this reason (the Karaites, and maybe Samaritans).
Also: "women's work" that is expressely forbidden by the melachot on the sabbath includes cooking and laundry, two activities which, until the 20th century took up a huge proportion of women's time. The removal of just these two activities from a day made it a comparative day of rest. Additionally, some people refrain from doing dishes and other similar tasks on that day.
Laurel Snyder
Not objecting
Annie,
I don't mean to object to the prohibition really. More to the way families (some families I've encountered) have interpreted the prohibitions... if Daddy steps in to help with the childcare/food prep/etc... my point is moot.
But it's convenient that you can "create" a sandwich. Or a table setting. Or a child with clean teeth.
xoL http://jewishyirishy.com
Tamar Fox
I see your point, but
I'm with you in spirit. I mean, I think women who have to work their asses off on Shabbat are being given the shaft by their husbands and totally deserve some time of their own. But I do think that Shabbat shouldn't be any different from any other time of the week in terms of shared responsibility. Just like hubby should help with dishes and watching the kids and whatnot all week long, he doesn't get a break just because it's shabbat. As for women's work being the stuff that we still can do on Shabbat... not so much. The point of cooking everything ahead of time is that you just take it out of the fridge or off the hot plate and voila! Dinner/lunch/whatev. One really shouldn't be doing extensive prep for a shabbat lunch meal. It should all be basically ready to go. I know a lot of frum women for whom shabbat really is a break. Cleaning and cooking are out, and the time they spend with their kids is a lot less disjointed and stressful than normal. I still see your point, but I think it's a little more complicated than that, and ultimately has to do with who does what during the rest of the week.
Anonymous
Point taken
No argument with that, Tamar... I think it can kind of throw the inequality in household life into relief though.