So I had my final meeting with the rabbi at UJ yesterday and am feeling brighter and lighter than I thought I would.  It took so fucking long to get to this place and now that I've decided to "choose Judaism" as they say nowadays (we are not converts, we are Jews-by-choice. ahem.), I feel present and calm and a little alone in a weird way.  I remember this little old lady came into the clinic where I work and, upon learning of my impending dive into one of the most persecuted groups in the history of the world, shouted in eastern-european-accented speech "WHY??  Everyone will HATE you!".  I'm now closer to this woman than I am to my own grandmother (I won her over with a flawless reciting of "Lhitra'ot"), but her first comment to me was indicative of a lot of the reception I get when announcing my decision.  It's not exactly like announcing being nominated for Nobel Prize or finding the cure for cancer or even announcing an engagement or pregnancy.  I've heard a lot of pins drop.
But I guess that's all part of it for me.  I feel at home in this cool place.  As I say in my yoga classes, I've found the midline.  Or something close to it.  And even though the little old Jewish lady was right in a way, I think the survival, independence and stalwart nature of Jews and Judaism are what I'm drawn to... 
I'll let you know how the water-dunking goes next month...  
(Will I actually FEEL Jewish?  What does that even mean?)