What’s in a Name? (When You're Naming a Baby of Mixed Culture and Religion?)

A Child By Any Other Name: might have a harder time being taken seriously?Victoria has six post-it notes hanging above her desk:  Mateo, Nicolas, Tomas, Alejandro, Santiago, and Simon.  I have one:  Nikolai.  

I love the name Nikolai.  This morning, I woke up thinking:  We can call our boy Niko.  

When I mentioned Nikolai the first time, four and a half months ago, when we found out Victoria was pregnant, she said, “Too Russian.”

I said, “What ya got against Russians?”

She said, “You just like it because it’s YOUR heritage.”   

I’m half Romanian, one quarter Russian and another quarter Ukranian, but The Ukraine may have been Russia when my great grandmother was born there.  So maybe I’m half Russian.  

I said, “I don’t feel Russian.”

She said, “I want my child to have a Latin name.  I want him to have a Latin identity.”  And then I got it.

Victoria lives in America, but she’s Venezuelan, so she feels like she has to hold on to her culture or it will get washed away.  Her extended family is still in Venezuela while mine is here.  We inevitably spend much more time with my family.  At home, we speak Spanish at dinner, but we speak English at breakfast and at lunch.  We also go to synagogue on occasion and except for the one time Victoria took Tashi to church; in our house, my cultures are ahead three to one.  

She also wants our boy to play in both worlds.  She wants him to be successful and thinks he’ll have to fight to be taken seriously by Latins if his name is Nikolai.

“Who cares what they think?”  I said. “Look at Barack, his name is Arabic or Swahili and he’s doing just fine here in the US.”

“That’s true,” she said, “but he’s taken shit for it.  And he’s not Latin.”


Today, for some reason, I was back on the Niko train and thought I'd try again.  ”Nikolai sounds Latin, to me,” I said.  It sounds a little Russian, I see that but also Italian and Portuguese and Latin.  

Victoria sighed.  

Then even before brushing my teeth, I ran to my computer to google “Latinos named Nikolai.” I found Nikolai Garcia, Nikolai Guerra, Nikolai de Lyra,…

I ran back to Victoria and told her my findings.  

She said, “Try googling Latinos named Jefferson.”

“I see your point. But Niko is so cute.”

“Then let’s do Nicolas.”

“Too Christian,” I said.

Andrea Askowitz, author of My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy, is guest blogging for Jewcy, and she'll be here all week.  Lucky you!