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Priestly Idea (Did You Know Anyone Can Perform a Baptism?) |
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 by Andrea Askowitz, September 3, 2008 |
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What: i don't look like a priest to you?I said, “Hey, why don’t we get Tuffi to do our baptism?”
“She’s not Catholic,” Victoria said.
I said, “I know, but I think of her as totally priestly.”
Tuffi, formerly known as Stephanie, but renamed Tuffi by Tashi when Tashi was just learning to speak, is one of Tashi’s God-moms. Tuffi presided over Tashi’s baby-naming and seemed like a total priest to me.
Victoria said, “Someone Jewish can’t do a baptism.”
I said, “Why not? It’s not like we can get a priest to do it.”
Victoria said, “Why not?”
And because she is pregnant and probably experiencing a little “mommy-brain,” I gave her the benefit of the doubt. I trusted that she was probably listening the other eight times we talked about the baptism but just forgot, so I told her again about how I met with Father Steven, in the Castro.
About a month ago, I got this other priestly idea, which was to get the whole family baptized. I see it like this: I don’t want half my family to be part of something and the other half not a part of that something, even if it’s total voodoo and I don’t believe in it anyway. I mean, just in case there’s any power there, I might as well get some of it. Doesn’t matter to me whose God is providing it. There’s only one God anyway, we all know that. And since Tashi and I have not been baptized, I made an appointment with a priest to ask some questions. I was in San Francisco and thought if there is ever going to be a like-minded priest, a priest in the gayest neighborhood in America is MY priest.
First thing he said to me, “So you want to become Catholic.”
I was like, “No, no, no. I just want to be baptized.”
Father Steven said that no priest would perform a baptism on somebody if that somebody wasn’t going to take on the teachings of Catholicism.
The priest did say, and I told this to Victoria, that unlike marriage or first communion, anyone can perform a baptism. (For the full transcript of my conversation with Father Steven see previous post, Let’s Have a Baptism)
Since then Victoria and I have had several conversations about making baptism our own thing. We’re creating our own religion here: A Judeo-Christian-Latina-Lesbiana religion of our own making. A religion of peace and harmony and who cares what other people think. That’s why I suggested that Tuffi be our priest.
Victoria said, like this was all new to her, “Well, we at least have to get someone Catholic.”
Ten years ago I read Anne Lamott’s book, Operating Instructions, but I still remember this line where Anne’s friend first learned that Adolf Hitler had a tormented childhood and the friend said, “I’ve had it with Hitler.”
I’ve had it with religion.
Previously: Let's Have a Baptism/Bris
Andrea Askowitz, author of My Miserable, Lonely, Lesbian Pregnancy, is guest blogging for Jewcy, and she'll be here all week. Lucky you!
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Elijah
Good for you for trying to infuse the archetype of religious dogma with some good old fashioned peace and harmony. I am sure you have shocked many people with this statement, but I applaud you and your partner. Thank you for being an example of WHAT IS POSSIBLE instead of hate and bigotry. I do hope that you continue to embrace Judiasm with love and joy while embracing that which your partner brings to the relationship. Personally, I think baptism is silly and I don't quite understand why you would want to participate in that...but that's okay...I'm not living your life and I support your right--and applaud your right--to forge new paths! Bravo! Here's to PEACE, LOVE AND HARMONY. It is a choice we should all be concious of making on a daily basis.
Undereducated Gentile
I too have had it with Hitler and religion. When I was told by a Midwestern Methodist pastor that the bible is written in the language that my heart knows to be the truth, I couldn't help but blurt out "OK. So...why do I need a translator?" There seems to be translators at every turn, before the book even goes to print and then literally millions of "g_d experts" both with and without tittles before and after their names.
I too applaud your efforts and the only encouragement that I can offer is that I have found a spiritual journey is never a wasted endeavor. I confess to know nothing about Judaism so I will only speak of my experience.
My daughter was 14 days old and weighed one pound and a half ounce. Her mother and I were awakened at 3:48AM by a phone call informing us we needed to come back to say good-bye, (I had just left the hospital two hours ago!?!) In our private moments I baptized her, we took turns holding her and sang songs to her. What happened next as I was telling her that I really wanted to play soccer and teach her about the world, I said that I also wanted to teach her about Jesus. She opened her eyes, looked straight through me and what I heard was "No, dumb-ass, Thats my job."
Kids.
Religion appears to be more about indoctrination to then operate in the best interest of that group of people. I don't care what religion anyone is as long as they can have enough faith in the g_d of their understanding to allow others to be themselves and operate in the world we share with integrity and compassion for those perhaps less fortunate.
If your having trouble with Catholicism, why not give Catholic lite a shot? (The Episcopal Church) I have found the full range of Christians there under one roof and per-capita less judgmental then most. (Isn't that g_d's job anyway?)
Bottom line(about time, I know and I'm sorry.) What matters is what is in your heart. Simple. Only you and your creator really know. While family continuity is important and you are to be commended for those efforts, baptism just in case may be a can of worms you really don't want to open. The game of Karma, while positive, sells one so short of life's true riches.
Anonymous
"Andrea" is really Joey trying to pull one over on us. This is too absurd and over the top to be real. You really had me going Joey. Your pyschotic lesbian creation is satire at it's best. Keep on and we'll pretend with you. As long as "Andrea" is not real I can laugh.
Andrea Askowitz
I am really Andrea with a picture and a last name right here on Jewcy. Who is Joey? And Anonymous, who are you?
Andrea Askowitz
Undereducated Gentile, I'm so sorry about your baby. I love how you interpreted her communication with you. Are you saying that children have their own connection with God and we (parents) should stop pushing our beliefs? If that's what you mean, I agree with you. Andrea
Undereducated Gentile
I must confess that I didn't give it a lot of thought as to interpretation per say. That really isn't my strong suit. I do agree 100% that everyone, (including our children) has to establish their own relationships whether fellow humans or the almighty.
Heck, you don't even know what happened next.
Can't take credit for myself just because when this event occurred, I was in about my third or fourth year of coming out of an alcohol/drug,(willful ignorance?) induced haze and was working on just trying to get out of the way of myself and a dog that might exist,(lol) and allowing people to be themselves. Till now, I really thought it was more about that.
Thank you for your kind thoughts, I have always hesitated to share my experiences of my firstborn with others. They are mine and I guess I hoard and guard them because unlike everything else, I CAN take them with me. You helped me realize that perhaps others can gain insight by my sharing of them. I know her life wasn't in vain and you have allowed me to demonstrate that fact. You honor her by providing a venue and for that, I'm eternally grateful.