The eldest male in my family has always served in the military in some fashion. My great-grandfather and grandfather served in the Marines, my father in the Army, and after high school and a few years of college I set out to fulfill my commitment the same as them. Two years ago I walked into the area recruitment office, meaning to see the Army recruiter but, as he was busy at an area high school, I found myself talking to the Marine recruiter instead. Do I regret that I signed my life away two years ago, not then understanding the true sacrifice I was to make of my self, my culture, and my religion? No, though I would never sign up again.

I came into the marine corps. a modern orthodox jew and I remain one to this day - though I find myself forced to fall into, what would be considered, more conservative or reformed practices. For instance, though I'm supposedly able to get "kosher MREs" while deployed though the supply of these is limited and I'm usually forced to break kashrut (primarily in the mixing of meat and dairy and shechita) at the chow hall. Indeed the first time I shaved my beard was right before I went to boot camp - and it's still a little disconcerting to see myself without a beard or sideburns when I look in the mirror. Neither these nor any other forced break of halakha bother me much, so long as I fathifully follow G-d and keep to his holy commandments in everyway I can. What does bother me is the complete lack of fellowship with other jews.

I still find it funny when people have to repeatedly ask: "You're really Jewish?" I have been "the first jewish person I've ever met" at least 2 dozen times and I'm still the only Jew in my entire company (one of two in the battalion). I've been to 4 services in my 2 years in the marine corps., simply because of a lack of jewish personnel to have the services. The 4 I went to had 5, 4, 6, and 4 people in them (not including the chaplin or layleader) and these were all base wide. The area I grew up in only ever had 20 people in shul and most of these people were at least 5 years older then me but still we met every shabbat for dinner and prayer if nothing else. The community is heart of Judaism and I miss it most of all.

Still, I wouldn't say the military is bad for jews. It is definitely harder but, for me at least, it strengthened my devotion to G-d and made me appreciate what I have and had all the more. Beside that I do take pride in the fact that I payed my dues for this nation (flawed as it leaders and policies maybe at times) and can stand tall with the rest of my ancestors.

I once had a goal that before I turned 25, I'd be married and contently changing the diaper of my first child, but life has its own plans. The 23rd through 25th years of my life will have been torn apart by wars and deployments and the sickness and death of many of my friends and family. Though I may have numerious worries and concerns in my life - not meeting that original goal is not one of them. To me I'm just following in the path of my mother, who refused to listen to the community and "settle" with whoever was interested in her and waitted on her perfect match. She had her first child, me, at 31 and the rest of my 9 brothers and sisters followed. I honestly don't know how my parents have stayed together for 25 years, to me they seem the type of people who would constantly get on each others nerves, but to them it's perfect.

 One person's perfect life is another person's living hell.

 On a seperate note: I always feel a bit of guilt and annoyance, with the pressure my local commuity puts on my sister. I remember before she met her current boyfriend, comments were made, either to her face or just within earshot, that she should "find a man and settle" or "why can't she be less picky like her sister" (to whom belongs my little nephew). Now that she has a boyfriend, she is constantly baggered or "nudged" about how her current boyfriend would be a "fine catch", how she should "grab hold of him before someone else does", and the like. While, to date, I have never heard a word about when I am going to settle down, though I proably need more of a kick in the rear to start looking harder. It's not that I have a hard time meeting women, current situation not withstanding, but that it's never been a big issue for me - I'll get married when I meet the right women and that will happen when it happens. Don't know if that's the typical jewish male attitude or not, but it's mine.

When I came home after the birth of my nephew, I decided to help my brother out and babysit my nephew on a few occasions. Though that's more noble then it sounds, mostly I knew I wasn't going to see the little guy all that much and wanted to hold him as much as possible while I had the chance. Despite that selfish reason and the fact that I'm terrible with women, suddenly everone my age or so was hitting on the "new dad". Once informed I was just an uncle a few lost interest but some seemed even more open after that...too bad I was only in town for a few days and it didn't seem right to start anything and then leave.

 Besides the truth of the matter is if I had gotten a date it would be more the kid that scored then myself. Yep, he's my brother's son alright.

I've never drank any of those except "Witz". Actually, beside Manishewitz and seltzer, I've never heard of any of those. But I do remember one drink that my friends and I drank.

Arak - clear, unless mixed with anything then it turned milky white. Strong, fiery taste with around 60-70% proof. Great for hard lemonade.

BT

I'm a guy who's been lucky enough to have his family and others stay out of his love life so your statements aren't as bothersome to me - they are perplexing. First if we are to talk about the top "noiseless and slow" killers of the Jewish people, I'm sure we'd have to look at a myrid of self-destructive activites (drug use, excessive drinking, smoking, weight, etc) before the lack of jewish children comes up. Though not quite noiseless or slow I've seen many jews who have died either from drinking and driving or ODing, long before their 25 birthdays. These people were a part of the Jewish present and were to become a part of the Jewish future.

To describe anyone as a Nazi merely on whether s/he is married or not and to think that being a leftist or rightist or neutral has something to do with whether you have children or not I won't even debate. Having children is a personal not political decision.

There are many reasons a couple might be childless. The couple might want to build up their finances before having a child, they may simple wish to enjoy their first year of marriage and merely get to know one another before having a child, or they may not be medically able to have a child. There are some diseases and injuries that can keep a women from getting pregant - how would a statement about the 12th of the month make these couples feel? As for cursing parents that can't help with their children finances - if I had a child right now I would be paying both for him/er and for my own parents, who because of sickness can no longer pay the bills themselves. Who would you then curse? The community, built of families each with their own problems that, though willing to help anyway it can, has not the money to sustain an entire family(ies)?

But back to the original topic, excellent post Tamar. A common ethical and moral group based on a shared idea nearly always become bedrocks for the people involved in times of trouble. For instance, clubs and sports teams tend to rally around any person or player who's been injuried. How that person is treated though depends on the core values of the group he belongs to. Most religons' strong moral code and belief in community make a strong fondation for this type of thing. While atheist tend not to gather, at least not as atheists. Where you'll find atheist gathering is in these racial, sport, school, work, etc related fields. Ie. an atheist programmer might find solice with other programmers or an atheist student at UoI college might look to other students.

He was completely sincere and I've heard the latter said too. Actually, I've seen several people tell my uncle to refer to "Indians" as "Native Americans" despite the fact that he belongs to the Blackfoot nation (Blood tribe) and has lived among them for most of his life. Politically correct pain in the rear is all it is.

I remember when I was a kid we had a truck like that. You'd always hear one kid yell "The Snow Cone Man is here" then everyone would take off inside to find pennies, nickels, and dimes to pay for their summer treat. He served much more then snow cones though, my mother would buy frozen dinners off him if she was pressed for time and I used to love the $2 chili dog/chicago dog dinners my family would get after a little league game at the park. Yet, he was always the snow cone man because the ice cream, dinners, and everything else he served could be bought in stores and/or resturants - snow cones were special and purely summer. Snow cones are also a definite fress and I would have been horrified to see protesters destroying one of my favorite parts of summer.

Good for Lichtenstein and I know I'd love to see a kosher food truck in my area.

This is an email sent to me by my father a while ago when I asked about family history.