Do Not Pass Go, Do Not Collect 200 Shekels

Jewschool recently tipped us off to a Yiddish version of Monopoly that can be purchased in Hasidic Brooklyn. Instead of Park Place, Boardwalk, and hotels, you can land on a “shtreiml gesheft” (a place to buy shtreimels, I assume) Hakhnosas Orkhim (hospitality), tzedoko, and yeshiva/kollel squares. But the best part is the “soul searching” cards. Jewschool has posted translations of some of the bad ones:The Monopoly Guy: does kinda look Jewish

“Yiddeshe Tokhter! Du host aroys gelakht ven mener hoben gehert! Zeyer a groyse pritzus! Shtel dokh in ‘mikhutz lamakhane’ un blayb aroys 3 gang.” (Jewish daughter! You laughed when men could hear you. Very immodest! You’re excommunicated! Lose three turns.)

“Geredt English tzuvishin zikh! Yiddish redn taylt up fun di goyim! Shtel dokh in ‘mikhutz lamakhane’ un blayb aroys 3 gang.” (You spoke English amongst yourselves. Speaking Yiddish separates us from the Gentiles! You’re excommunicated! Lose three turns.)

“Geleynt a treyfene bikhl! Tomey, Tomey! Arayn in Gehenom un blayb aroys 2 gang.”Ungevoren di 2 tayereste pletzer vos du host.” (You read an unkosher book. Unclean, unclean! Got to Hell and lose two turns. Lose your two most valuable properties!)

“Geholfen di Tziyonistishe medinah! Fun a shaykhes tzu reshoim kumt keyn guts nisht aroys! Nor shoden! Tu teshuvah! Zitz in a yeshivah 2 geng, un tzol far di yeshiva vifel es kost far yededn aroys gebliben gan $50 far tzedokoh!” (You helped the Zionist country! No good can come out of an association with evil people, only bad! Repent! Sit in a yeshivah for two turns, and pay $50 tuition per day to charity).

There's more about the game here.