Give me your headless, your poor: The Cloverfield poster No time to read The New Yorker, The Atlantic Monthly, the Sunday New York Times, Harpers, The Nation, The New Republic, and New York Magazine during your morning commute? Don’t worry – we’re here to help you convince those around you that you’re a big ball of erudition.

Start by wondering whether your conversation partner saw the intensely disapproving review of Cloverfield in the Times this weekend, and quote Manohla Dargis’s final line: “Rarely have I rooted for a monster with such enthusiasm.” Burn!

Then point out that Anthony Lane in The New Yorker seemed to like the movie, even though he said the film’s gimmick—it’s a monster movie shot entirely on a camcorder held by one of the kids fleeing the monster—was “a bit pre-millennium.”

And, finally, address the real monster in the room—not the film’s 9/11 imagery, because duh -- but a little film everybody was really excited about back in the summer of ’99. “Remember The Blair Witch Project?” you might say, and then, if you’re feeling saucy, “Yeah, me neither.”

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