Before she was Jewish: Madonna in 1983 On March 10, the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame will hold its twenty-third induction ceremony, celebrating the totally under-recognized achievements of luminaries like Madonna, Leonard Cohen, and John Cougar Mellencamp.

John Cougar Mellenwhat? Yup, the Rock Hall is honoring the guy behind “Jack and Diane.” Which is, please understand, a total standout in the world of handclap songs—nobody’s knocking “Jack and Diane” around here—but don’t you think one of these things is not like the other?

It happens that there’s another thing Madonna and Leonard Cohen have in common, at least nominally, but I swear this isn’t Jewish chauvinism speaking. We're talking about the woman who singlehandedly invented 99% of the pop trends over the past three decades, the man who wrote some of the most poignant and most-covered songs of all time, and this guy: