A Budding Chernobyl: With every Ding Dong, the crisis growsThese days few features of the American landscape are more exploited by the media than our penchant for porkiness. The so-called "obesity epidemic" serves as a terrific metaphor for lazy, bloviating French social critics, newspaper editors in need of a good headline, and now, environmentalists.

Gina Kolata covers a study today in the New York Times that links fatter Americans with extra fuel costs (fuel, farts, it's the same thing).

I personally find every American hamlet's decent into round-town a welcome development. Forced to shop throughout my adolescence in that embarrassingly isolated corner of any department store euphemistically called the "husky section," I dig that a new generation of pre-pubescent fat kids will mock their few skinny brethren for shopping in the "scrawny section."

The New Black: It's his world nowAt last, my long-held dream that "chunky Zionist chic" might become the new black is coming true. Eat, and fart, on America. Who needs glaciers anyway?