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Sarah Silverman Wants to Scissor Sheldon Adelson for Obama

by
July 16, 2012

Sarah Silverman has an offer we’re pretty sure Sheldon Adelson can’t refuse. In a newly released NSFW video, the comedian says that if the 78-year-old billionaire casino magnate and Republican mega-donor donates to Obama instead of Romney, to whom Adelson has pledged as much as $100 million, she would scissor him “through to fruition”—she won’t have sex with him though, she says, “because we’re not married and I’m a nice girl”.

Silverman also gives a visual example, using a small dog, of the sexual favor she’s offering the Jewish billionaire (to climax, she promises). She points out that all the other Republican billionaires are giving money to Romney, but “How many of them are getting scissored by a bikini-bottomed Jewess with big naturals?”

This isn’t Silverman’s first foray into politics, of course—in 2008, she famously urged Jews to go down to Florida and tell their grandparents to vote for Obama—but this year she’s going big. In an interview with Vanity Fair last week, Silverman shared a joke she had written with the Republican National Convention in mind:

I wanted to say that during that week, we should hold a vigil or ask for a moment of silence for the literally billions of tiny Republicans who will be lost in hookers’ assholes that week. I told it to my dad and he said, “You mean vaginas!” And I said, “No, Daddy. Because they don’t want to get [the women] pregnant, and they don’t want to wear condoms.” And he was like, “Oh, you’re right.” It was such a messed-up conversation.

(Art by Margarita Korol)

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