Sex & Love

Now You Too Can Find Your Aryan Dreamgirl (Or Boy)

Have you ever found yourself frustrated while swimming in the dating pools overt at Match and eHarmony? Have you ever spend days scouring JDate for your dreamgirl but turning up your nose at all the olive skin and dark hair? … Read More

By / January 28, 2010

Have you ever found yourself frustrated while swimming in the dating pools overt at Match and eHarmony? Have you ever spend days scouring JDate for your dreamgirl but turning up your nose at all the olive skin and dark hair? Well, it seems your unasked prayers have been answered – April Gaede, the mother of the adorable white pride singing act Prussian Blue, is now launching her very own Aryans-only dating service. Via the white power website Stormfront (Hey guys! It’s been like a whole week since you called any of our writers ugly Jews! Are you mad at us?), Gaede announced her services:

I am willing to act as a go between, researcher, matchmaker, older sister and guide for any WNs [white nationalists] who are looking for a WN spouse. Only email me if you are serious about finding a spouse or long term partner.

Since Gaede is new to the matchmaking circuit, how do we know she’s any good? She offers her own story of sweet Aryan love up as an example of inspiration:

I was 37 with two children when my husband Mark [Harrington] and I met. In any other circumstances we might have been an unlikely pair, a city boy who plays hockey and a country girl who trained horses. But because of our ideological similarities and our mutual concern about the future of our race we have much more in common than the average couple today.

Sniff. It’s all so beautiful. But wait – it turns out that Gaede’s life wasn’t always so happy before true love redeemed her. Before Mark, she was married to an Icelandic pole vaulter. They had two kids together, the famous twins Lynx and Lamb (who comprise Prussian Blue), but it didn’t work out. She has but one regret:

..the many years that I lost in which I could have produced four to six more children with that ideal eugenic quality that [the twins] possess.

You see, all you lonelyhearts, April Gaede has been to heartbreak hotel too. But she lived to see another Aryan day. And you can too! Sign up now!