Sex & Love

Fifty First (J) Dates: Do We Know When to Stop?

Here’s the little caveat about JDate. It’s great. It’s basically a smorgasbord of intelligent, successful young Jewish men. You get to make your own sandwich from this smorgasbord — some pickles, a few sprinkles of humor, three slices of Red … Read More

By / June 28, 2010
Jewcy loves trees! Please don't print!

Here’s the little caveat about JDate. It’s great. It’s basically a smorgasbord of intelligent, successful young Jewish men. You get to make your own sandwich from this smorgasbord — some pickles, a few sprinkles of humor, three slices of Red Sox fanatic, all sandwiched between two pieces of Into Fitness and Loves Trying New Restaurants.

But what are you supposed to do if you actually really deeply enjoy this sandwich? (Deeply enjoy it after scooping out the insides or removing the bread, of course.)

But, what if you like REALLY like him? “Normal” dating rules apply, I guess. (whatever that may be, it’s different, and equally as nonsensical for everyone.)

Can’t we all just meet in a room together and decide what these rules are? It would make everyone’s life easier. I guess that would be the end of being pleasantly surprised to receive a text from the new boyyyyyyyy as you glance down from your “vodka-soda-with-a-splash-of-something-that-actually-contains-calories-to-improve-the-taste-of-sawdust” at 675.

No initiating texting twice. No sounding too interested. Blah blah.

But it got me thinking, I’m going out with a lot of other people, I guess I have to assume this new guy I dig is too. You sort of have to hedge your bets and play defensively. It’s sad but true.

At what point do you agree to stop JDating if you’re FO REALZ dating someone? When are you supposed to stop browsing, flirting, poking, shmearing, messaging, or IMing? Could any of these be construed as cheating? What about getting off the site altogether?

JDate can be so tempting because there will always be more options out there. It’s sort of addictive. “If I found one I like, there must be an even better one out there,” right?It’s a slippery slope of constantly trying to one-up yourself. And among goal-oriented young people always in search of the “next best” iphone or running shoe, do we know when to stop?