Sex & Love

FFJD: The X Factor

This is a post about the mythical “X Factor.” It’s sort of like the mythical G Spot, except for the fact that was proven to exist. Read More

By / March 3, 2011
Jewcy loves trees! Please don't print!

No, this is not a post about the amazeballs UK television program (why is so much stuff better over there?) that trumps American Idol and makes me worship at the feet of Rebecca Ferguson (seriously, YouTube her.) Although I sort of love that random extremely large accountant from like Minnesota rounds? I don’t know, I was mostly watching J.Lo’s sexyface.

This is a post about the mythical “X Factor.” It’s sort of like the mythical G Spot, except for the fact that was proven to exist. Anyway.

A lot of times girls/guys start to date someone and really like them – good teeth, not a bad kisser, has a good job, doesn’t have a collection of Star Wars Action figures that sort of looks like Steve Carell’s in 40 Year Old Virgin. So that’s good and great, but what about the xtra oomph that makes you go from liking someone to ZOMG I AM ENVISIONING OUR SUNSET FIRST DANCE IN MY CUSTOM MAISON MARTIN MARGIELA IN ANGUILLA?

And is that extra oomph necessary? I’m not sure where this idea of the “x factor” came into play – that there has to be an extra sparkle beyond having your shit together and treating you well. But the pressure to find that exists. And we feel like it’s necessary. I’ve fallen prey to the “he’s so wonderful…BUT” line/excuse.

Is this unknown “but” chemistry? A spark?

We have this idea that someone we’re dating should have an extra, often undefinable characteristic beyond the normal checklist. I, for one, have dismissed someone great because they just don’t have “it.” You probably have too – the guy who is really sweet, BUT…[insert general dismay here.]

Maybe we’re just looking to find fault, or maybe we’re just looking for something that doesn’t exist.

Maybe we wouldn’t even know what to do if we found that perfect person anyway. It was sort of like when my dog (Ruby Fineman, may you rest in peace with endless hotdogs) would chase the neighbor’s cat. She would chase and chase and chase. When she finally once got right up next to the cat, she touched her nose to him, and then didn’t know what to do, ran away, and flipped out. Sounds like a typical bitch. (Worst pun ever.)

I think that the romcoms and comroms have just made us feel that we need to be struck by lightening by a potential mate. Which is a load of crap. But it’s inevitable. You sort of feel like Ashton Kutcher in Dude Where’s My Car at the drive-thru:AND THEN? AND THEN AND THEN? AND HES CUTE AND NICE BUT AND THEN?

Maybe there is no “and then.” Maybe you just drive around, pick up your Happy Meal, and get on with it.

What do you think?

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Email me at meredith@theffjd.com.