Sex & Love

FFJD: The One Night (Bed)Stand.

Dear FFJD, Recently, I’ve come across a bit of a dilemma on first dates. Since when have guys started to expect sex on the first date?? Read More

By / August 9, 2011
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It’s Tuesday! So…at least it’s not Monday anymore? And the American economy isn’t still plummeting? (Peers out from under Ralph Lauren comforter). On Mondays I usually feel like I want to sit in a ditch and play with pogs all day long instead of doing anything productive. Just as long as I have my particular slammer, I’m good. But on to some advice, shall we?

Today’s query comes from a chick who finds that dudes want to get into her Hanky Pankys after a first date. Onward ho(e)! (Terrible, terrible joke. Forgive me, Kelsey the intern hasn’t spoon-fed me my iced coffee yet today.)

Dear FFJD,

Recently, I’ve come across a bit of a dilemma on first dates. Since when have guys started to expect sex on the first date?? I’ve never been one to give it up on the first date, nor do I plan to start doing that, and I’ve never had a problem with waiting until now. I thought I hit the NJB jackpot with this one guy, until I could sense his disappointment when I didn’t sleep with him after the first date. What could have happened?

-Dazed and Confused

Sometimes I like to speak in movie titles, such as above. So basically, if you’re emailing me asking for advice I like to make up a silly name for you. Next person gets to be Finkel & Einhorn. But more important is this issue. There are a couple of things going on here. First of all – guys like to get down. Get jiggy. (I know I’m speaking in PG-13). So basically, yeah, they want to probably hook up with you. Sure, we can believe that guys are taking you out for your intelligence and pop culture savvy, but there is a significant physical element you can’t ignore.

That’s the difference between a friend and someone you’re dating. And this is true for women as well.

However, there is not and should not be any pressure to do things physically that you are either uncomfortable with or not ready for. If a guy is disappointed that you won’t sleep with him on the first date, tough Tollhouse cookie. I also think that if you’re going out with guys who expect that after a first meeting, you might be looking in the wrong places.

I got a member of the Manel to weigh in on this issue, which I will publish tomorrow. In the meantime, put your thoughts in the comments!

Email: meredith@theffjd.com
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