Sex & Love

FFJD: Cheating Cheats And The Women Who Dump Them

FIfty First (J) Dates talks about 21st century cyber cheats. Read More

By / November 29, 2010
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Eva Longoria Parker, she of short trenchcoat advertisement with large boyfriend fame, filed for divorce from her tall foreign frenchy husband for cheating last week. He apparently (now, I’m using news sources like Us Weekly and Popeater, clearly like referring to the AP) had hundreds of text messages to another woman. The worst part is the woman is the wife of another basketball player. It’s unclear whether or not he physically cheated on her, but it was clearly grounds for dismissal.

Why is it that celebrity wives instantly kick husbands to the curb for instances of cheating (along with Elin Nordegren, Sandra Bullock), but so many political wives stick around?

The spectrum of what constitutes “cheating” is wide (and tall, in Tony Parker’s case.) There is straight up booty with someone who is not your spouse or girlfriend, but then there are more gray areas like texting, sexting, whatever else you do with an iphone, Facebook, Twitter, and checking into someone else’s pants on Foursquare.

Technology has made cheating easier, but with one type of your name, instantly discover something bad.

Emails are forever. As are blog posts, as we were reminded in the Social Network, although it was heinously improbably that Rooney “Girl With a Dragon Tattoo” Mara would actually date a boy in Adidas shower slides. Heinous. Never boys, never. Search histories, gchats (look at the professor who was busted for sexy gchatting with a student for the second time) are written in…permanent code.

Emotional cheating, in my opinion, is far worse than any physical act. This opinion tends to be shared more among women than men. I’ve been in an emotional cheating situation that was painful, toxic, and unacceptable. Although emotional cheating situations don’t necessarily result in physical cheating, they are equally if not more destructive. Trust is broken with or without as much as holding someone else’s hand.

Dating sites bring in a whole new era of cheating-related conundrums. I heard an instance of someone in a relationship whose boyfriend went on JDate right before he broke up with her. In my mind, this is beyond wrong, and might be a form of cheating.

I’m not sure if everybody would agree with that, but the intent to find someone else in a dating space is different from looking a girl up and down at a bar. You don’t know that she’s single, and she doesn’t know what you’re looking for, that you keep kosher and want three kids, and play tennis on weekends.

What about if your significant other is not Jewish? I’ve had multiple people tell me that they’re on JDate because their girlfriend or boyfriend is not of the Hebrew persuasion. I also think that this is wrong. Dating someone is dating someone, and rules apply no matter if they’re Christian, have an elephant trunk, or 16 toes.

What do you think?

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