Sex & Love

FFJD Advice: Between a Friend and a Smooching Place

It’s Tuesday! Did you watch Millionaire Matchmaker last night? Read More

By / August 23, 2011
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It’s Tuesday! Did you watch Millionaire Matchmaker last night? What do you think of Patti’s new…features? I’ve missed Destin the most I think, now that I’ve finally figured out how to spell his name properly. I mostly wonder if I can babysit his and Rachel’s child, Sin Halo. (Sad that I know that, or sadder that when I see little punk baby clothes I want to send them? The best ones say ironic things like Mashed Sweet Potatoes Are For Pussies and My Mom Has Pink Hair.)

But that’s neither here nor Sensa Weight Loss. Did you know Patti’s taking that? Did you see it on Twitter? I had no idea. (I had an idea, I guess I’m just bitter that her first choice of endorsement is a weight-loss supplement.) Today’s important advice qwerty qwestion is about crossing that line.

You know, not the line between short skirt and too short skirt or old cupcake to too old to consume cupcake, but the line between friend and LOVAH.

Everyone hates that word. Loverrrrr. Lovah. Blech. Onwards:

Dear FFJD,

My “guy friend” started showing interest (aka trying to make out with) me. we’ve hooked up a couple times BUT then when i thought he had invited me on our first real date he invites his FRIEND along to dinner and doesn’t pay for me! just not that into me?

Love,

Your Friend Is Not a Benefit To me.

(See what I did there?) Punz all around. I’m such a pu(t)nz!

Okay anyway, let’s dissect this. Walking the line between guy friend and person you make out with occasionally is very difficult, if not impossible (but that’s another rich topic for another time when I’ve had more iced coffee and fewer packs of Orbit that are making me bloaty). You know how it goes – boy meets girl, they become friends, someone develops feelings, one thing leads to a few drinks and bam…you’ve smooched (or whatever). Or you’ve always wanted to smooch, or dreamt of smooching, or sung into a hairbrush while staring at a yearbook photo at a time when you still wore socks that daintily folded in half with that little ruffle on the bottom (for me, yesterday).

The transition from friend to formally dating (or going on dates) is really tricky with someone you already know.

I have a few questions.

Do you like him? Enough for him to be your boyfriend? And do you think he feels the same back?

There’s a lot of gray area here, from your friendship to whether or not you want to potentially sacrifice that to take it to the next level (I honestly don’t even know what that means and I used the phrase, but what I’d imagine to be sort of like in Super Mario where you sink down into a tube and then you’re underwater and everything is harder, which is sort of a great metaphor for a relationship, no? And then you get a gold star and you grow bigger and are in a serious relaysh where like, you take trips together?)

He shouldn’t have invited his friend. But it’s important to figure out if you want to transition from friends to something more. If yes, let make it clear. Just be wary that for your sake. DO NOT stay in this sort of hook up/sort of hang out sometimes on the couch watching Curb but not actually dating thing. That is a recipe for disaster, preheated to 375.

What do you think?

Ask FFJD a question for next week on Formspring.

Email: meredith@theffjd.com
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