Sex & Love

The Etiquette of Jewish Breakups

We all know that “in a relationship” status on Facebook doesn’t guarantee a ‘Happily Ever After.’   Just because a Nice Jewish Girl is dating a Nice Jewish Boy doesn’t mean that they are automatically right for each other, as I … Read More

By / January 20, 2009

We all know that “in a relationship” status on Facebook doesn’t guarantee a ‘Happily Ever After.’   Just because a Nice Jewish Girl is dating a Nice Jewish Boy doesn’t mean that they are automatically right for each other, as I discovered with Bike Boy.  Although our relationship started sweetly enough, we ended it with a mutual understanding we really were not a good match.

Unfortunately, I haven’t always gone through such amicable splits – like the guy who dumped me a few days after we put a $500 deposit on my credit card for our vacation in Sonoma or the guy who told me after several weeks of, um…intimacy that not only was he not over his ex-girlfriend, but if he was he would rather be dating someone else (how low on this list was I?).  Okay, so I’ve never been dumped by post-it note or text message, but I know that my boys have trolled on-line dating sites before we ended things and have been cheated on more times than I’d care to admit (on the bright side two of my exes eventually married and had children with the women they were cheating on me with). So what does Judaism say about breakup etiquette?  Isn’t the Ketubah just a pre-nuptial agreement that states that the husband must provide food, clothing and marital relations to his wife, and that he will pay a specified sum of money if he divorces her?  It sounds pretty good until you consider the misogynistic process of a traditional Jewish divorce and how her ex-husband can refuse to grant a Get, thus denying her the ability to remarry. But what are Nice Jewish Boys and Girls taught about dating?  Since I’m thinking about casting my lot exclusively within the Tribe I’m curious about what I could come to expect among the yids.  Anyone have any breakup tales to share?