Sex & Love

Craigslist: Desperate Jewish Men Seek Attractive Jewish Women

Seven guys looking for Semitic sweethearts post questionable ad online Read More

By / January 14, 2013

Forget JDate and the 10,999 Jewish singles who are online now and share your desire for friendship and romance. Seven Jewish men living in DC have decided to find their seven soul mates with a supremely cringeworthy Craiglist ad:

Shalom! We are five handsome and two not so handsome single men. And, yes, we are Jewish. Bound by tradition and emboldened by wit, we are hosting an epic Shabbat dinner — a little challah, a little wine, and a lot of gefilte fish — in downtown Washington, DC on Friday, January 18, 2013. In a nod to our orgiastic traditions, we are inviting seven lucky ladies to feast with us. Echoing the State of Israel’s Declaration of Independence, we will consider you, “irrespective of religion or race,” as long as you “bring your own lactaid pills.

To be considered, please submit a picture of yourself. We’d also like to hear more about you.

While the men have most certainly congratulated their own brilliance (demanding photos ≠ very original), the litmus test they’ve created to narrow down their apparently large romance pool inadvertently concedes the limitations of their wit. If you can correctly decide what the the 11th Commandment should be and what your favorite episode of Seinfeld is, but then avoid revealing your answers, you might just win a spot at the table.

Please answer two of the following questions with another question: What’s your favorite Shabbos activity? Which biblical forefather do you admire most and why? What would you establish as the 11th Commandment? What’s your favorite episode of Seinfeld? Curb Your Enthusiasm? Which character from Girls speaks most to your personality? What is your favorite double mitzvah? Why would you answer a Craigslist ad about a Shabbat dinner?

You must also answer two of the following, not in question form. Where do you go to get your hair straightened? Are you a self-hating Jew? Have you read Portnoy’s Complaint? Explain why a two-state solution would or would not work? How do you feel about the Shoah? What is your favorite yiddish word and farvus? Zach Braff: Dreamy, or in your dreams? Do you appreciate hairy backs?

The ad has been updated to report that many interested parties have in fact already contacted them, though they’d still “love more responses” in order to find their true besherts.

Suffice it so say, Jewcy isn’t swooning.

Seven Single White Jewish Males Looking to Host Seven Single Females [Craigslist]
(image via Shutterstock)