Religion & Beliefs

When in Doubt, Blame the Pharisees

You know that pesky theory of evolution? Remember Darwin? Turns out, the Pharisees came up with the whole evolution ‘people-descended-from-monkeys’ thing, and also the Big Bang theory. This came from their “holy book” the Kabbala. I know you’re surprised, but … Read More

By / February 15, 2007

You know that pesky theory of evolution? Remember Darwin? Turns out, the Pharisees came up with the whole evolution ‘people-descended-from-monkeys’ thing, and also the Big Bang theory. This came from their “holy book” the Kabbala. I know you’re surprised, but I read it on the internet, so it must be true. But seriously, folks. If you clicked on the last link and checked out the site, it’s pretty clear we’re not dealing with a really high level of scholarship or technical savvy here. This is not the kind of thing I usually give much thought to, since it’s obviously such whack-o crap. But it’s worth considering today because it’s caught the attention of a couple of lawmakers and state representatives who are trying to get legislation into state houses banning evolution education on the apparent grounds that it was all thought up by a bunch of Jews living in caves. (Never mind that Jesus was likely a Pharisee who hung out in caves). A state rep. from Georgia, Ben Bridges, forwarded a memo to Texas House Appropriations Committee Chairman Warren Chisum, who delivered it to his house. The Dallas Morning News covered the story, noting that Bridges writes, “Indisputable evidence – long hidden but now available to everyone – demonstrates conclusively that so-called 'secular evolution science' is the Big Bang, 15-billion-year, alternate 'creation scenario' of the Pharisee Religion.” Let’s pretend for a minute that that’s even a functional sentence and go right along to what Rep. Chisum intends to do with this newfound “indisputable evidence.” Actually, he has no plans to actually propose any legislation, and according to the Dallas Morning News he wouldn’t even say that the views reflected in Bridges’s memo are his own, just that he believes in Creationism. And what about teaching this crap in school? "You ought to teach creation as well as the fact of evolution," Mr. Chisum said, though he said "all of those kinds of sciences have holes in them. … But I'm not about teaching religion in schools." So wait. Evolution is a fact, but we shouldn’t teach it in schools? I need to lie down. On the one hand, it’s a relief to see that nothing’s really going to come of this. Looks like Chisum was just trying to be nice to his crazy buddy Bridges. But to be honest, I’m not okay with this crap even being humored on the level of state government. I think someone who says he’s “not about teaching religion in schools” shouldn’t be reading anti-Semitic crazy bullshit in any kind of governmental setting. I don’t know if there’s much to do about this situation at this point except maybe be generally depressed and irritated about the state of our government, as per usual.