Religion & Beliefs

Responding to Cousin Moishe

Last week, we posted an email sent to "Noah," a Jewish guy about to marry his non-Jewish girlfriend "Sheila," by his ultra-Orthodox cousin "Moishe." Moishe vehemently – and inarticulately – disapproved of Noah’s choice and sent him an email encouraging … Read More

By / June 3, 2009

Last week, we posted an email sent to "Noah," a Jewish guy about to marry his non-Jewish girlfriend "Sheila," by his ultra-Orthodox cousin "Moishe." Moishe vehemently – and inarticulately – disapproved of Noah’s choice and sent him an email encouraging him to break off the engagement. Here is Noah’s response.

Moishe,

While I was saddened by this email, sadly I was not surprised. I’m going to let you in on a little secret.  You’ve always sort of been a family joke.  That wacky cousin, who could never keep a job and kept looking for meaning in his life, bouncing from false hope to false hope (think about how much time you wasted on EST, seriously, how stupid do you have to be to believe in that crap.)   Everyone sort of humored you and thought it was funny, while wondering when you would actually grow up and start acting like a man.  I understand it was difficult without having your father involved daily in your life.

Let me be perfectly clear, I don’t believe in god.  I’m culturally Jewish, I honor and appreciate the traditions, but I am not religious in any sense of the word.   So you can continue being the family joke as long as you want.  As a relative I wish you nothing but happiness.  As a man I shake my head in disgust at your utter lack of substance and accomplishment. 

Sheila has twice the substance, character and intellect than you could ever hope to attain.  You would be lucky to meet a woman as strong both mentally and morally as her.  But even if you were lucky enough to find such a woman, you would inevitably chase her away with your limited world view, which is predicated on hate and distrust.  You are the reason there is anti-semitism in the world, with these ridiculous pablums that you spew: "the fact is that a jew is a much more advanced being than a non jew and basically the dynamics behind the relationship could be regarded as one who owns a pet and for what reasons."

There will be a time maybe in 5 years, maybe in 50 years, when you’ll realize you’ve wasted your life and you’ll probably ask for my forgiveness for ever sending this email.  I will never grant you that wish.

I’ve already written your mother and explained how disgraced she should be that her son would ever send such an email.  And I am confident that once my mom reads this she will cut off communication with you as well.  Because the only person I know that believes in god and organized religion less than me is my mom.  

I consider this email the final communication we ever have.  Please make no attempt to ever contact me again.   – Noah 

Lest you think Moishe was willing to heed his cousin’s request to back off, in next week’s installment Moishe tries to appeal to Noah’s mother, Rachel.