Religion & Beliefs

Our Top 3 Suspects in Brooklyn Torah Heist

Gothamist is reporting that five Torah scrolls were stolen from a synagogue in Borough Park.  The shul seems to think this is an inside job, as the Rabbi is out of the country, a window was left open and the … Read More

By / April 28, 2010

Gothamist is reporting that five Torah scrolls were stolen from a synagogue in Borough Park.  The shul seems to think this is an inside job, as the Rabbi is out of the country, a window was left open and the safe containing the scrolls was left unlocked; regardless, here are the 3 people we think could have done the deed:

1. The Hamburglar, now a Ba’al Teshuva, has given up cheeseburgers; instead, he scours the city under the cover of dark pilfering religious relics.  

2. Sick of their signature "Tora! Toro!" cry only attracting Jews, the International Union of Bullfighters has taken it upon themselves to rid the world of Torah scrolls.  

3. Orthodox women, sick of being denied the right to be ordained as Rabbis, have decided that if they can’t have the Torah, no one can!