Arts & Culture

What’s Your $177 Dollar Bagel?

Councilman Larry Seabrook, you have done a fabulous job making yourself out to be one of the biggest scumbags in New York’s already F.U.B.A.R. government. But beyond all that, you paid $177 dollars for a bagel, and impressed us with … Read More

By / April 5, 2010

Councilman Larry Seabrook, you have done a fabulous job making yourself out to be one of the biggest scumbags in New York’s already F.U.B.A.R. government. But beyond all that, you paid $177 dollars for a bagel, and impressed us with your expensive taste and ability to dream big. We at Jewcy are simple folk.  We’re happy with our untoasted garlic bagel with a light smear of cream cheese and maybe a few capers.  But in honor of the news that you are still acting like a scumbag, wasting out tax dollars in a manner so careless that you’re just screaming to get caught, we thought of a few of our "dream bagels", but also wondered what kind of bagel would you, are dear Jewcy readers, get if you had to spend $177 dollars on a bagel?

A few ideas:

1. The Goldstein: Apple butter and gold leaf. The raisins are made out of champagne grapes.

2. The Lil’ Frenchie:  A bagel with a piece of filet mignon in the hole; taken from the tiniest, tenderest cow raised by the tiniest farmers in the tiniest village in France. 

3.  The Kobe: A bagel autographed by Kobe Bryant.