Arts & Culture

The Top 10 Christmas Albums Made by Jews

If there’s anything a Jew knows how to do, it’s embrace a moneymaking opportunity. Even if it does involve selling schmaltz to the goyim. 10. Phil Spector – A Christmas Gift to You from Phil Spector Maybe Phil knew he … Read More

By / December 8, 2009

If there’s anything a Jew knows how to do, it’s embrace a moneymaking opportunity. Even if it does involve selling schmaltz to the goyim. 10. Phil Spector – A Christmas Gift to You from Phil Spector Maybe Phil knew he was gonna ultimately break one of the 10 commandments (read: MURDER), so just in case he was playing for the wrong team, he’d make an album for good old JC too. It’s this alone that earns him a spot to open the list. 9. Neil Diamond – A Cherry Cherry Christmas WOW Jewish Elvis, A Cherry Cherry Christmas? Seriously? Is it supposed to be Christmas with you and George Washington? This earns you spot #9. 8. Harry Connick Jr. – When My Heart Finds Christmas That silky croon will get him into anybody’s top 10 list. Plus this video pushed him from 10 to 8. Give that man an Oscar.

7. Carole King – Love For Christmas Really, love for Christmas? I guess she means this as a "I always felt left out as a Jew in Brooklyn lighting my Menorah" type of love.

6. Barry Manilow – Because it’s Christmas And because Christmas = snap purchases of music that tugs on heartstrings and selling Christmas albums filled with this music = lots and lots of money. 5. Mel Torme – Christmas Songs We just always have really liked his name. Mel Torme. Good enough for 5. 4. Bette Midler – Cool Yule Cool Yule??? Seriously? Thanks Miss M, though I am not sure if this title makes you so divine.

3. Barbara Streisand – A Christmas Album Oh Barbara, what a vanilla album title, but you are probably the most famous female Jewish singer, so notoriety earns you #3. 2. Bob Dylan – Christmas in the Heart He’s Jewish, He’s Christian, He’s Jewish, then he makes a Christmas album! We love the consistency! 1. Kenny G – Miracles Because he’s the only one that really looks like a Jew on this whole list, and because he’s nerdy and because he’s Kenny G.