Arts & Culture

So You’re Saying Raiders Of The Lost Ark Isn’t Accurate?

There’s nothing left to dream about with the news that the Ark of the Covenant has been sitting in a church THIS WHOLE TIME. Read More

By / December 7, 2011
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Indiana Jones schlepped out to Egypt to get the Ark of the Covenant, and the whole time it’s been in a small chapel in Ethiopia?  According to The Daily Mail:

The Ark – which The Bible says holds God’s Ten Commandments given to Moses on Mount Sinai – is said to have been kept in Aksum, in the Chapel of the Tablet, adjacent to St Mary of Zion Church, since the 1960s.

I know you’re thinking the same thing as me: some really good looking guy with a bullwhip and a hatred of snakes is probably battling his way past Nazis right now to get his hands on the chest that Moses put the Ten Commandments in.  Surely attaining a prize as important as the Ark would require a journey that would test both your physical and spiritual power.  To even glimpse the ark, you probably have to run away from a massive boulder, dodge flying pointy things, or at least know some rudimentary pluming, because the small chapel that supposedly holds the Ark has sprung a leak:

The water damage could mean the Ark will be moved for the first time in decades giving religious worshippers and adventurers alike a chance to see it.

Well, there you have it, all my dreams are officially dashed.  Looks like I’m going to have to settle for the stupid Holy Grail which will probably going to show up on an episode of Antiques Roadshow or in the garage of some hoarder from backwoods Pennsylvania on American Pickers. I will rest easy knowing that all the people who do bother to travel to Ethiopia to take a look at the holy relic will probably have to figure out a way to avoid this: