Arts & Culture

Jews Watching Curb Your Enthusiasm: Upstream

if you can manage to live a life where you, let old men beat you in scrabble, marry an unattractive woman and never upstream, God and Larry David will down upon you. Read More

By / August 29, 2011
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People say that New York City is the greatest city on earth, but it lacks one thing: a proper social contract.  With so many people squished into such a small space, it’s more important here than just about anywhere that certain standards are place, unwritten laws to ensure that we respect and look out for one another.  Upstreaming is a direct affront to such a law.  When you see another person across the way from you, holding out there hand for a cab, you are to immediately re-locate until you’re out of the vicinity with that being!  To simply throw out your hand and pretend not to have noticed that someone was trying to hail before you, or even worse, to acknowledge the pre-imminent hailer and upstream anyway, is a sick act, it’s sociopathic.  In short: if you attempt to hail a cab and you see a person within eye shot, also hailing, yet continue to hail, you belong in a facility.  Same goes for people who don’t pick up dog poop

This week Larry threw down with the world at large and came out …whatever the opposite of victorious is.  In dealing with a racist judge he found himself in the shoes of Harrison Ford ala The Fugitive. Then, when he trying invest in a potential billion dollar invention, he found himself up a ski slope with a pair of faulty skis.  Thanks to a tip from Jeff about a man inventing a car periscope, Larry and Jeff ended up in a chase scene through downtown that paid tribute to The Sting, The French Connection and slew of other old movies, but in the end, we were all left wondering one thing: Can I really get a periscope for my car?

This episode also reunited Larry with his favorite semi-nemeses Wanda Sykes.  After her stint as the favorite comic of the Obama White House, Wanda found her way back to Larry land, only to steal away his trainer.  We can only hope that her return is permanent.

The real highlights of the episode we’re of course, upstreaming, another Curb discovery that in its simplicity is perfectly brilliant, and the ugly wife syndrome.  The ugly wife syndrome is something so deeply ingrained in our subconscious, that I wasn’t aware of it until last night’s episode. Soprano’s actress Alda Tuturo stepped in as the ugly popcorn-crazy wife who turned out to be a veritable golden ticket to another man’s trust.  All you have to do is marry her.  When men see decent looking men married to ugly women, we presume they have integrity.  Notice, the same does not go for decent looking women married to ugly men, not at all.  So, if you can manage to live a life where you, let old men beat you in scrabble, marry an unattractive woman and never upstream, God and Larry David will down upon you.