Arts & Culture

Jews Watching Curb Your Enthusiam: Larry David Goes Barry Bonds

Larry David uses performance enhancing drugs to gain an advantage over Rosie O’Donnell. Read More

By / August 22, 2011
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Larry gets an asterisk next to his name in this week’s in a baseball themed Curb episode, which doubled as the perfect welcome back to New York City for Larry and now thankfully, Leon.

For straight men, there are two arenas in which you do not want to face off against a gay woman; they are Softball and sex with women.  This week Larry ultimately ends up getting crushed on both fronts by Rosie O’Donnell.  Larry and Rosie both end up with their eyes on the same vivacious lady at a gallery show and a grudge ensues that leaves Larry with no choice but to turn to performance enhancing drugs.  Meanwhile, Larry’s finds himself on the receiving end of a Japanese restaurant owners “shit bow,” after a confrontation over bag security, and in the crosshairs of an overzealous lunch partner.

Even if Larry were to actually start banging a cycle of steroids, his chances of beating Rosie O’Donnell at softball are completely non-existent, but the return of Leon (via Larry’s now beat-to-hell Prius) offers Larry a way to one up her on another playing field.  Leon, reveling in the lush-ness of Larry’s new urban digs, produces a little blue pill that guarantees he’ll be able to knock Rosie O’Donnell out of the race before the playoffs even begin.  It ends up working a little too well and Larry realizes what so many before him who’ve attempted to fly too close to the sun have realized.  It may seem like a good idea to give yourself a little boost to ensure an important victory, but once you become a titan, you cannot just descend back normalcy so easily.  Larry finds himself in Washington Square Park, copping in the night like the sad, old fiend he’s become.

Of course, Larry’s reign can’t last forever.  In fact, it can’t even last until the second date.  In the worst possible fall from grace, Larry winds up having his dirty little secret uncovered for the world to see right in front of the baseball hall of fame.  This week’s episode gave us a perfect example of Curb Your Enthusiasm Rule of Law: If something great happens to Larry, expect him to be engulfed in flames by episodes end.

Before we go, let us revel in the return of Leon by recounting this weeks best Leon-isms:

“I don’t fly, you need to have a photo ID for that.”

“I just had a croissant filled with motherfuckin’ champagne”

“I would not be your friend, sitting around in this plush motherfucker, and allow you to go out there and let a lesbian beat you in a fucking game.”

See you next week.