Arts & Culture

Britney Spears’ Secret Conversion Diary

The New Yorker, everybody’s favorite highbrow magazine, likes to drag their heels in the mud with the rest of us from time to time. Check out their new illustration regarding Britney Spears’ ostensible conversion to Judaism [Editor’s note: Britney is … Read More

By / July 21, 2009

The New Yorker, everybody’s favorite highbrow magazine, likes to drag their heels in the mud with the rest of us from time to time. Check out their new illustration regarding Britney Spears’ ostensible conversion to Judaism [Editor's note: Britney is currently dating her agent, Jason Ashlock, who is Jewish, and rumors abound that she's pulling an Ivanka Trump and converting for him]:

 

britney spears jewish

In the accompanying article, Andy Borowitz skewers the all-too-easy target of Britney, trying on a new religion with as much disposability as trying on a new pair of panties. Best line: "Madonna is so Jewish I call her Mezuzah." Worst: I was like, “Rabbi P., is there any way you could break this down into a bunch of tweets? I’ll read it on my phone on the way to rehearsal.” He got so mad those curls on the sides of his head started shaking. (I don’t know why he won’t let my stylist snip them off. They’re not a good look for him, K.?)"

Which is, admittedly, more than one line. But you needed to hear the whole thing in order to fully appreciate the awkwardness and the trying-to-write-like-a-ditz-when-you’re-actually-kind-of-an-intellectual-ditz quality of the entire falsified diary. Yeah, you heard me. You come after Britney, now you’re comin’ after one of us.