Arts & Culture

Anne Frank Gets Rejected

I go to the McSweeney’s site for my daily dose of literary yucks.  Dave Eggers and his crew usually give me something to crack up about while I’m trying to pound another cup of yerba-matte in hopes of waking up. … Read More

By / May 13, 2010

I go to the McSweeney’s site for my daily dose of literary yucks.  Dave Eggers and his crew usually give me something to crack up about while I’m trying to pound another cup of yerba-matte in hopes of waking up.

Today’s yukk comes from a fictional rejection letter from a publisher to Anne Frank.  It was an irreverent, hilarious parody of a rejection letter sent to one of history’s most famous memoirists. Facebook narcissism, postmodern narrative closure, and our favorite Diablo Cody flick all get nods in what I have to imagine is one of the nicest rejections letters ever written.  My personal favorite revision suggestions would have to be:

Put frankly, sex sells. You and Peter van Pels kiss a few times without letting your parents find out, which is great. But in 2010, it feels tame. Was there anything else you’re omitting out of a misguided sense of propriety?

Throw in a couple shower scenes, and it has the makings of a great Megan Fox vehicle.

Brainstorm personality quirks that show up in dialogue. Have you seen Juno?