Arts & Culture

20% of the Keating Five, 100% Bullshit

Damn was that town hall thing hard to sit through. First of all, it was the second debate in a row in which Senator McCain bragged about America being the best "importer" in the world. Um… that’s not a good thing, … Read More

By / October 8, 2008

Damn was that town hall thing hard to sit through.

First of all, it was the second debate in a row in which Senator McCain bragged about America being the best "importer" in the world. Um… that’s not a good thing, sir. That means you owe people money.  Which I guess you don’t have to worry about when your wife has a few hundred million in the bank. 

Second, Mr. McCain, in order to get your glorious "preconditions" before you sit down with people … you need to actually sit down with people!!!!

Third, please, please, pleeeeeeeaze stop saying "my friends."  Apparently you didn’t swallow enough of the Bill Romanowski memory aid pills he sold you.  You just said we were friends four seconds ago.  We get it.  You’re our pal.

And yes yes yes yes yes, you are a war hero.  And I commend you for the sacrifice you’ve made for the country.  However, what I won’t give you potential presidential props for is being a prisoner of war. Sorry, but there is NOTHING about being a POW that qualifies one to be commander in chief.  Bottom line: ANYONE can be a POW.  All you have to do is be in the wrong place at the wrong time.  Sorry again, but no points for having bad luck.  I’m not going to vote for the person who has been stuck in traffic the most hours either.  It’s irrelevant.

By the way, in 1970 I was in first grade and had an exhibit of my clay sculptures at the local public library.  I had a red elephant and a blue walrus that everyone marveled at and an ostrich with a pipe cleaner neck and –  What I’m trying to say is WHO THE HELL CARES WHAT HAPPENED IN 1970?!?!?  In 1970 Paul McCartney released "Let it Be" – now he kinda sucks.  What IS important is how people evolve.  It appeared that John McCain WAS evolving… until 2001 when he went back to being a Cro-Magnon man.  If he and Ms.Palin get elected, America might as well be confined to a tiger cage for the next four years.    

Oh, one last point for the racist voter out there: Why not just look at Obama as being half white (which he is) instead of all black (which he isn’t)? 

And for you Alaskan Jews out there: please remember to spay and neuter your wolves so there doesn’t have to be any more aerial hunting of ‘em.

Brian Frazer, author of Hyperchondriac, is guest blogging on Jewcy, and he’s here all week.  Stay tuned.

 

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