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Throwing Rocks at Old People |
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| The Torah told Esquire editor AJ Jacobs to stone adulterers. So he did. | ||
by AJ Jacobs, October 9, 2007 |
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A.J. Jacobs spent the past year living according to the Bible as literally as possible. That meant no pork, no sitting on a chair on which a woman has previously perched (you never know if she might be menstruating), and no mixing fibers. In this excerpt from his book, The Year of Living Biblically, he wades gingerly into the world of Biblical punishment.
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Everybody must get stoned: PebblesThey shall be stoned with stones, their blood shall be upon them.
—Leviticus 20:27
The Hebrew scriptures prescribe a tremendous amount of capital punishment. Think Saudi Arabia, multiply by Texas, then triple that. It wasn’t just for murder. You could also be executed for adultery, blasphemy, breaking the Sabbath, perjury, incest, bestiality, and witchcraft, among others. A rebellious son could be sentenced to death. As could a son who is a persistent drunkard and glutton.
The most commonly mentioned punishment method in the Hebrew Bible is stoning. So I figure, as the very least, I should try to stone. But how?
I can’t tell you the number of people who have suggested that I get adulterers and blasphemers stoned in the cannabis sense. Which is an interesting idea. But I haven’t smoked pot since I was at Brown University, when I wrote a paper for my anthropology class on the hidden symbolism of bong hits. (Brown was the type of college where this paper actually earned a B+.)
Instead I figured my loophole would be this: The Bible doesn’t specify the size of the stones. So…pebbles.
A few days ago, I gathered a handful of small white pebbles from Central Park, which I stuffed in my back pants pocket. Now all I needed were some victims. I decided to start with Sabbath breakers. That’s easy enough to find in this workaholic city. I noticed that a potbellied guy at Avis down our block had worked on both Saturday and Sunday. So no matter what, he’s a Sabbath breaker.
Here’s the thing, though: Even with pebbles, it is surprisingly hard to stone people.
My plan had been to walk nonchalantly past the Sabbath violator and chuck the pebbles at the small of his back. But after a couple of failed passes, I realized it was a bad idea. A chucked pebble, no matter how small, does not go unnoticed.
My revised plan: I would pretend to be clumsy and drop the pebble on his shoe. So I did.
And in this way I stoned. But it was probably the most polite stoning in history— I said, “I’m sorry,” and then leaned down to pick up the pebble. And he leaned down at the same time, and we almost butted heads, and then he apologized, then I apologized again.
Highly unsatisfying.
Today I get another chance. I am resting in a small public park on the Upper West Side, the kind where you see retirees eating tuna sandwiches on benches.
“Hey, you’re dressed queer.”
Dreaming of GMILFs: Recent studies confirm that people's sex lives don't end once they hit 70
I look over. The speaker is an elderly man, mid-seventies, I guess. He
is tall and thin and wearing one of those caps that cabbies wore in
movies from the forties.
“You’re dressed queer,” he snarls. “Why you dressed so queer?”
I have on my usual tassels, and, for good measure, have worn some sandals and am carrying a knotty maple walking stick I bought on the internet for twenty-five dollars.
“I’m trying to live by the rules of the Bible. The Ten Commandments, stoning adulterers…”
“You’re stoning adulterers?”
“Yeah, I’m stoning adulterers.”
“I’m an adulterer.”
“You’re currently an adulterer?”
“Yeah. Tonight, tomorrow, yesterday, two weeks from now. You gonna stone me?”
“If I could, yes, that’d be great.”
“I’ll punch you in the face. I’ll send you to the cemetery.”
He is serious. This isn’t a cutesy grumpy old man. This is an angry old man. This is a man with seven decades of hostility behind him.
I fish out my pebbles from my back pocket.
“I wouldn’t stone you with big stones,” I say. “Just these little guys.”
I open my palm to show him the pebbles. He lunges at me, grabbing one out of my hand, then flinging it at my face. It whizzes by my cheek.
I am stunned for a second. I hadn’t expected this grizzled old man to make the first move. But now there is nothing stopping me from retaliating. An eye for an eye.
I take one of the remaining pebbles and whip it at his chest. It bounces off.
“I’ll punch you right in the kisser,” he says.
“Well, you really shouldn’t commit adultery,” I say.
We stare at each other. My pulse has doubled.
Yes, he is a septuagenarian. Yes, he had just threatened me using corny Honeymooners dialogue. But you could tell: This man has a strong dark side.
Our glaring contest lasts ten seconds, then he walks away, brushing me as he leaves.
Teaching kids that violence doesn't pay since 1971: Meathead and crew When I was a kid, I saw an episode of All in the Family
in which Meathead— Rob Reiner’s wussy peacenik character— socked some
guy in the jaw. Meathead was very upset about this. But he wasn’t upset
that he committed violence; he was upset because it felt so good to
commit violence.
I can relate. Even though mine was stoning lite, barely fulfilling the letter of the law, I can’t deny: It felt good to chuck a rock at this nasty old man. It felt primal. It felt like I was getting vengeance on him. This guy wasn’t just an adulterer, he was a bully. I wanted him to feel the pain he’d inflicted on others, even if that pain was a tap on the chest.
Like Meathead, I also knew that that this was a morally stunted way to feel. Stoning is about as indefensible as you can get. It comes back to the old question: How can the Bible be so wise in some places and so barbaric in others? And why should we put any faith in a book that includes such brutality? Later that week, I ask my spiritual adviser Yossi about stoning. Yossi was born in Minnesota and calls himself a “Jewtheran”— Jewish guilt and Lutheran repression mesh nicely, he told me. He’s an ordained Orthodox rabbi but never practiced, instead opting for the shmata trade— he sold scarves to, among others, the Amish. He’s tall and broad shouldered with a neatly trimmed beard. In his spare time, Yossi writes wry essays about Jewish life, including a lament about how his favorite snack, Twinkies, recently became nonkosher. I met him through Aish Ha Torah, an Orthodox outreach group.
He isn’t fazed by my question at all.
We don’t stone people today because you need a biblical theocracy to enforce the stoning, he explains. No such society exists today. But even in ancient times, stoning wasn’t barbaric.
“First of all, you didn’t just heave stones,” says Yossi. “The idea was to minimize the suffering. What we call ‘stoning’ was actually pushing the person off the cliff so they would die immediately upon impact. The person getting executed was given strong drink to dull the pain.”
Plus, the stonings were a rare thing. Some rabbis say executions occurred only once every seven years, others say even less often. There had to be two witnesses to the crime. And the adulterer had to be tried by a council of seventy elders. And, weirdly, the verdict of those seventy elders could not be unanimous— that might be a sign of corruption or brainwashing. And so on.
I half-expected Yossi to say they gave the adulterer a massage and a gift bag. He made a compelling case. And yet, I’m not totally sold. Were biblical times really so merciful? I suspect there might be some whitewashing going on. As my year progresses, I’ll need to delve deeper.
* * *
ALSO IN JEWCY
A.J. Jacobs kept a Jewcy blog last week in which he wrote about
Jon Papernick tried a similar experiment in observance as "The Perfect Jew," in which he embraced Jewish rituals such as
After finding out that the cutest boy she'd ever seen in real life was sending her dirty text messages from his honeymoon, Tamar Fox looked into Jewish laws around adultery.
Speaking of religious literalism, stoning still happens in some parts of the world. Ali Eteraz discusses America's role in promoting Iraq's new, not-exactly-woman-friendly constitution.
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I'm an editor at large at Esquire magazine. I like to put myself in uncomfortable situations. I've written the articles My Outsourced Life (about how I hired a team of people in Bangalore to live my life for me), I Think You're Fat (about |
Anonymous
AJ's comments about 'not being convinced' come from a person who hasn't bothered to read the texts.
What does stoning mean? The Torah doesn't say. What's the procedure? The Torah doesn't say. So you go to the Talmud, where they spell it out very clearly. It's not rocket science. There's no reason to suspect that scholars 2,000 years ago were trying to whitewash the behavior of their forebears.
Joey Kurtzman
I believe that the traditional Muslim interpretation is that "stoning" should be accomplished by having the guilty party stand underneath a stone wall and collapsing the wall on top of them. And to prove adultery there have to be FOUR witnesses to penetration rather than the two witnesses of Halacha.
Who wins? Which tradition is more progressive in its stoning of adulterers? Please don't tell me we lose this one...I couldn't bear it.
Dov Akiva Isaac
This the myriad forms of execution that can be found in the Bible are definitely morally troubling. No matter how merciful and infrequent it may be claimed that these forms of torture and execution actually were, we are still faced with the difficult issue that we consider them to be morally repugnant today. In addition, it is completely reasonable to consider them to be morally repugnant even in the time that they were practiced. Just because our ancestors lived in a barbaric world doesn't mean that it was ever excusable for them to act like barbarians.
What I find to be the most compelling aspect of the Bible however is that it contains both the ugliness of immoral statutes such as these as well as morally uplifting statutes that are even progressive in our own time. It is not a book that can solely be looked upon for moral guidance but neither can it be totally condemned for its lack either. In many ways, the Bible is representative of the human condition. We are capable of utter depravity, complete goodness, and everything in between.
jewlicious
Good grief. A Sanhedrin that sent one person to death in 70 years was considered a murderous Sanhedrin. You didn't just have to have 2 witnesses - they had to warn the transgressor ahead of time and the transgressor had to acknowledge the warning! I am a fierce foe of capital punishment, but if the rules for the administration of capital punishment in the US or Canada were this stringent, I'd be a supporter. You want immoral statutes, you want moral repugnance? You need only look in your own backyard - look at Texas, look at Florida and other States in the US that allow capital punishment. Look at how defendants who are poor and of color are far more likely to be executed than are white folks. I remain amazed...
Dov Akiva Isaac
Oh, I know that capital punishment in the US is morally repugnant. I am against the death penalty entirely - whether it be by lethal injection or by stoning. Any legal system that assumes the the death penalty is applicable in any case what so ever is a morally repugnant system. However, biblical law was practiced for at least a thousand years before the rabbis introduced those measures that basically abolished it because they realized how immoral it was.
Anonymous
Why would anyone compare supposed stoning in Judaism that occured 2000 years ago bears no resemblance to the form practiced today to what occurs in Islamic countries today?
Is this a fair comparison? An intelligent and reasonable argument?
Anonymous
Not GMILF.
Anonymous
The rulings of the rabbis (which eventually found their way into the Talmud) came many hundreds of years after the Bible was written (see Neusner, R. Friedman, etc.). So, there is good reason to believe that the form of stoning practiced in ancient (as opposed to Talmudic) times was different.
The rabbis of the talmudic period came along and attempted to soften the harshness of the biblical text in response to the then-current morality. Sadly, the current Orthodoxy does not follow suit, but instead, blindly clings to norms that were first established during the talmudic and later, medieval, period.
Anonymous
Jews, no matter how Orthodox, don't stone anybody today, and haven't for thousands of years. Do-it-yourself-Judaism is only a place to start. Eventually you are going to need a guide, a rabbi. Because it isn't all in the book. And, you cannot be sure you really understand the book. This is a way of life, not a science. You don't cut your own hair, do you? You can consult trained people. Chabad is useful.
There are REASONS for things. Did you know why one does not eat milk and meat together? Because one is life (milk- newborns) and the other is death (meat - carcass). Judaism is full of reasons and reasonableness. Even stoning people demotivates them so it never actually has to be done, in reality. We have achieved a lot. There must be something to all this therefore. It can't be empty posing and neurotic obsessing. Logic says that.
elisheba
What is the problem living torah ( the written Torah ) ? Torah living protects you, blesses you, amazes you. If I can do it - anyone can do it.
Mikewind Dale - Michael Makovi
Aside from the whole issue of how often the death penalty was carried out, there is another issue to consider:
Perhaps the mere theoretical possibility of the death penalty teaches how severe that sin ought to be in our eyes.
Few would advocate the death penalty for adultery today, but perhaps, if we really understood marriage, we'd think differently. The entire book of Hosea compares adultery with one's spouse to disavowal of one's Creator. It is said that when a man and women have marital peace, the Shekhina dwells between them, and it is noted that when man (ish איש) and womean (isha אשה) come together, the extra yud and heh (אש plus either י or ה) forms G-d's name. So perhaps we ought to have a different, more sanctified view of marriage than we do today. In Malachi 2:13-16, we read, "And this further ye do: ye cover the altar of the LORD with tears, with weeping, and with sighing, insomuch that He regardeth not the offering any more, neither receiveth it with good will at your hand. Yet ye say: 'Wherefore?' Because the LORD hath been witness between thee and the wife of thy youth, against whom thou hast dealt treacherously, though she is thy companion, and the wife of thy covenant. And not one hath done so who had exuberance of spirit! For what seeketh the one? a seed given of God. Therefore take heed to your spirit, and let none deal treacherously against the wife of his youth. For I hate putting away, saith the LORD, the God of Israel, and him that covereth his garment with violence, saith the LORD of hosts; therefore take heed to your spirit, that ye deal not treacherously." Apparently, after the exile, after the women had been darkened and wrinkled by the sun and the journey, the men divorced them. And for this, for merely this, G-d condemned them so - imagine if they had committed adultery instead!
As for Shabbat: the Hazon Ish (a prominent and renowned Haredi rabbi of Benei Beraq) noted that not only would religious coercion not work today, but that even if it did work, we wouldn't want it, as we want the Torah to be kept voluntarily, and certainly not because a human government coerced it. Additionally, he said, all the Torah and Talmud's denunciations of non-ritually-observant Jews and non-believing Jews applied only in past times, when religiosity was the norm and disbelief was a form of rebellion and social deviancy. Plato, even until Spinoza, held that belief in G-d was an indispensable part of public morality. If I remember correctly, Kant remarked that even if G-d isn't real, he'd still want his wife to believe in Him. In the Middle Ages, during the height of the pogroms and Crusades, it was said that if a Jew rode on a carriage, and the Christian driver didn't cross himself upon passing a church, the Jew should disembark immediately; Christians killed Jews, but an atheist was even more dangerous. The point being: in Biblical and Talmudic times, anyone who today violated Shabbat (which symbolizes G-d's having created the world) was likely to murder tomorrow. Now, these all doesn't apply today, as I noted, but we can still learn two things: one, that sociologically, this is how indispensable Shabbat observance (which testified to belief in G-d) was back then at least; and two, we might learn something about how Judaism even today theoretically considers belief in G-d, even if practically speaking we don't actually execute anyone for heresy.