Fear and Kvetching in Jerusalem: Part II

Maybe your just sweeter than me or maybe my sunblock was doing double duty, but there were no mosquitos biting me at the Bird Sanctuary.

Well, not really. Maybe he wishes he was but I just thought the phrase would make for a great subject title. Speaking of which, do we really need titles? We're writing brief comments, not the great American novel...

So yeah... I think Marty was a tad disingenuous in this otherwise amusing article. ROI participants were not uniformly happy go lucky rah! rah! Jewy types (not that there's anything wrong with that). Serious issues were discussed - not all related to the manufacture and care of Jewish babies. ROI was a brilliant networking opportunity for people doing cool shit and the crowd was anything but homogeneous. I mean friggin' Marty Beckerman was there! We had 120 participants from all over the world and only 40 of them were North Americans.

There were hippies and Professional Jews but there were also writers, musicians, artists, activists of every stripe and persuasion, geeks, freaks - you name it - a broad cross section of young Jewish innovators. Some aspects of the program worked better than others of course but overall I dare say the vast majority of participants enjoyed it.

And in that assessment I include Marty, who despite what he has written, I know for a fact loves Jews. Loves them! Can't get enough of them! I know what he did last night - and it involved hanging out with Jews. Marty also loves Jew hippies. I swear! And given the opportunity to rub shoulders with us again, he'll do it - even if it means having to hear me talk about blogs and YouTube. That by the way was a total mis-characterization of what we spoke about - and Marty may have been able to present that more accurately had he not been obviously hung over. Now, when I get to New York Marty, I am going to kick your scrawny diaspora Jew ass. But first we're going to get really, really drunk so that you have a fighting chance.

Love ya babe - and I know you love my Jewish ass too. Thanks for making me laugh really, really hard you bastard.

"That by the way was a total mis-characterization of what we spoke about"

What? We spent the majority of the time debating New Media versus Old Media, or at least a very healthy chunk of it. Anyone in the track would testify to that.

 As for the mosquitos, Leah.... you have no idea how sweet I am.

That was the other night at the 92nd street Y you drunken bastard. And that wasn't me talking, that was ROI alumni Dan Sieradski, the founder of beloved New Jew blog Jewschool. Now lots of people get Jewschool and Jewlicious confused, and despite the fact that I stand a head and shoulder above Dan, we both wear baseball caps and goofy glasses so I can see how, through a drunken haze, you might get us confused. And I can't believe you're getting all uppity about my use of the term mis-characterization! Like we're going to go and get all the track participants to testify. Sheesh, Marty - and anyone else who is reading this and might think I was casting aspersions on Marty's journalistic credibility - we're taking the piss out of each other here.

Notice fucking Beckerman said nothing about his not being the Anti-Christ. Hmmm...

"There were hippies and Professional Jews but there were also writers, musicians, artists, activists of every stripe and persuasion, geeks, freaks - you name it - a broad cross section of young Jewish innovators."

Uhm....what's "a Professional Jew?" Do they have a draft pick? Is there a minor league?

-Mark Williamson (not a jew)

But guess who is!

Hall of famer Rod Carew!

I love that song! Adam Sandler is funny as hell! Remember when he was on MTV as "Stickpin Quinn?"

<-----is this Hebrew for "not logged in" or something?

Mark Williamson (still not a Jew)

There are also plenty of hippies: activists for “gender equality and social justice,” organic-lifestyle “ecological farmers” who believe that “feeling the earth here is really special,” the LGBT Coordinator of the International Union of Socialist Youth.

What's with the use of the term "hippie"?  When did Eric Cartman start writing features for Jewcy?

Then again, I’m still not entirely sure why it matters that these goddamned hippies are Jewish goddamned hippies.

Somebody needs some quality time with the collected works of Debbie Friedman.

It wasn't that bad... I think it has more to do with expectations than anything else. its hard to get 2, let alone 120 people to agree on anything. I'm sure some people loved the volunteering, others loved the text study, others learned something from the skill sessions, others can to talk about what they care about in the "open spaces" and others got to network with some like-minded people and make new friends. All in all I had a wonderful time as a participant, even if I didn't connect with every piece of programming or every participant.

Dear Marty,

You are hilarious. A bit on the explicit side, but very very funny. I would have liked to have read some interviews with the participants, and have a chance to get more perspective. You did mention at the start you were an objective journalist...

That aside, I think that the organizers invited you shows they were not interested in a whitewash. They knew who you were, because you are famous.

It is strange they changed your answers. And that fuels your argument that the whole thing was a set-up.

When all is said and done you said "I might not understand them or their nonprofit world, but maybe they will make a difference someday."

And lastly, you write "Correct me if I’m wrong but the thirteenth-century Kabbalists didn’t equate tikkum olam with campaigning against factory farms, which by the way are awesome."

The aforementioned Kabbalists of the 13th century did not equate Tikkun Olam with contemporary social and eco-justice movements, in my humble opinion.

They did emphasis though that what a person sows they ultimately reap, and how we treat each other and the environment will and does have an affect our our lives and our children's lives.

Sincerely,

Rabbi Yonah

Rabbi! We are totally inviting Marty to the next Jewlicious Festival. I mean if he can make it. Marty... it'll be awesome. Not 120 Jews this time - but 500! And you'll be a panelist and a presenter. You can talk about how much you hate love Jews - the Jewier the better! Beckerman rules and we love him so!

 No really. Beckerman's coming. He better come. I have photos of him and Tomer...

Never mind... 

That explains a lot. Marty hates Jews because he's not a Jew.

marty,
i wonder if you could be funny without cursing every few sentences. i am sure there are other ways to express your feelings and ideas without describing everyone as a fucker.

I'm not a Jew, so by your hypothesis I hate Jews, too.
And you ARE a Jew, so you hate all non-Jews?

What gives?

-Mark Williamson (not a Jew, and friend of Marty Beckerman)

Israelis are only good for being Israeli... and various other things.

Let's see how this is taken.

Shalom and hang loose from Marty's cousin Conrad!! I went to Woodstock with Marty's dad Mickey back in the day (does the summer of "69" have any sexual innuendo, cuz?).  All you need to know about Marty's peculiar past  is that the best man at his father's wedding was a German shepherd (Gladys the pumping pup). Just want to say I love you, Marty, and admire you letting your perverted thoughts and penis figuratively hang out there in cyberspace and literally hang out there with your girlfriend and others (un)fortunate enough to know you.  My generation had Woody Allen for neurotic, sex-crazed Jewish humor, you  youthful Internet setters have Marty Beckerman:  tropical Alaska's hunk of burnin' Hebrew love  wet dreaming about  burning bush.  Cherish Marty, or I'll be forced to blackmail him with his Bar Mitzvah and soccer team photos of so long ago.   L'chaim and have a Happy Super/Fat Tuesday!