The New York Times shined its spotlight on novelist Austin Ratner, the Brooklyn-based Jewish writer whose first novel, The Jump Artist, won the $100,000 Rohr Prize for Jewish Literature. The article mostly focuses on Ratner’s connection to Brooklyn’s other Ratner (for another look at Ratner, Austin, check out Marc Tracy’s 2009 profile for Tablet), but it does include this descriptive flourish:

Mr. Ratner recently gave a reading for his latest novel, “In the Land of the Living,” at Book Court, a bookstore in Cobble Hill, Brooklyn, that drew a respectable crowd for a mid-list author reading from his sophomore effort. There were lots of Ratners (though no Bruce), some family friends and a few disaffected youth cadging free Champagne.

Mr. Ratner, who combines the boyish handsomeness of Clark Kent with the nebbishness of Woody Allen, stood at the rostrum. His glasses were thick; his hair neatly combed. His book, heavily annotated, lay open in front of him.

Ratner wrote an essay for us last month about his distinctly Jewish sense of humor, where he notably called the Internet “bullshit at the speed of light.” Here’s his take on the role of comedy, and comic relief, in Jewish culture.

Jewish comedy equals tragedy plus comedy in a hurry. That is, Jewish comedy takes place in the midst of tragedy and despite tragedy. I don’t mean theater of the absurd or any other form that treats existence itself as a sort of sick joke. (More than sick, I’d say it’s longwinded.) By Jewish comedy I mean joyous, meaningful human laughter pressed into service amidst sorrows and by sorrows, laughter engaged in subversive work upon sorrows to leaven and defy them.

Read the rest of Ratner’s essay here.

(Photo credit: Nina Subin)

(Art by Margarita Korol)

Far an akshen iz kain refueh nito: For the disease of stubbornness there is no cure.

TAURUS (APRIL 21- MAY 20): Taurus, the bull, is a fixed earth sign, often depicted with its horns pointing upward toward God. These ‘horns of the law,’ confer the Taurean bull with godly power and moral authority. Taurus is an important sign during Shavuot, the festival of the giving of the Torah, as Kabbalists believed Taurus to represent the law of the Torah. Furthermore, the four rivers of the Garden of Eden are thought to represent the four fixed signs: Taurus, Leo, Scorpio, Aquarius.

Taurus is ruled by Venus, the goddess of love. As Taurus extraordinaire William Shakespeare wrote in Twelfth Night, “Shall we set about revels? What shall we do else? Were we not born under Taurus?” Often thought to be hedonistic fools for love, due to both a love of pleasure and material delights, Tauruses often need someone to take them by the horns.

Tauruses are substantial, practical, lovers of luxury, bluntly direct, and sensuous. You have the power to heal and soothe others, and are hypothetically relaxed yourself—but strong currents of nervousness run below the surface. Although you are usually reserved, you can be pushy, with a tendency toward backseat driving if you think you know what’s best for others. You would do well to me darf leben un lozen leben—live and let live. As your fellow Taurus Barbra Streisand says in Yentl, “Why is it people who want the truth never believe it when they hear it?”

Taurus governs the throat and neck; that is, you serve the head (ruled by Aries) and can be quite obedient, prefering to wait for something than to run after it. Although you are uncomfortable taking risks, you have great determination to stick to a course of action. This is usually a good thing, but can mean you obstinately refuse to change. Ask advice from everyone, but act with your own mind: Barat zich mit vemen du vilst; un tu miten aigenem saichel.

Mars in Taurus from April 20 to May 31 will give reinforce your bullish strength, while Mercury in Taurus from May 1 to May 15, will help you focus your mental energy on the material, earthly things. Now is the time to make way for new ideas, which will come in handy when Mercury enters its home sign, Gemini, from May 15 to May 31.

Famous Taurus Jews: Sigmund Freud, Karl Marx, Golda Meir, Barbra Streisand, Jerry Seinfeld, Mark Zuckerberg, Theodor Herzl, Bea Arthur, Irving Berlin, Billy Joel, Burt Bacharach, Howard Da Silva, Hank Azaria, Elaine May, Phil Silvers, Don Rickles, Lainie Kazan, Nora Ephron, Maya Deren, Tori Spelling, Aaron Spelling, Charles Grodin, David Krumholtz, Genya Ravan, Lena Dunham, Tavi Gevinson, Saul Bass, Jack Klugman

GEMINI (MAY 21-JUNE 20): Take comfort in the fact that planets will be moving into your sign in the coming weeks. However, be careful with your words when Mercury moves from Taurus to Gemini, one of its home signs, on May 15. You’ll feel a sudden jolt in your imagination, which has heretofore been a bit farshluggineh (literally, shaken or mixed). Use this energy wisely. Gemini rules talk and news (read: gossip), but don’t let your inner yenta get the best of you.

CANCER (JUNE 21-JULY 20): Cancers, ruled by the moon, are often emotional and moody—if not downright pessimistic. Just when it seems like life is adding up to bupkis (absolutely nothing), the new moon Eclipse in Taurus on May 9 will help bring you back down to earth. There’s a difference between being realistic and giving yourself over to needless suffering! Meanwhile, avoid any major commitments (signing a contract, etc.) for the time being; wait until closer to the middle of the month to tie up loose ends.

LEO (JULY 21-AUGUST 20): What can be said about Leo that hasn’t already been said about America’s Next Top Model? You regal beasts are fierce! Not that there’s anything wrong with that—and to you flashy Leos that’s nisht geshtoygen, nisht gefloygen (neither here nor there; it doesn’t matter). You’ve been in a fugue for far too long, now is your time to shine. Ruled as you are by the sun, you should take pride in the fact that you were put on this earth to give light—and your creative force can do just that.

VIRGO (AUGUST 21-SEPTEMBER 20): You think you know what’s best for everyone? You muttelmessig (meddlesome person, kibbitzer) Virgos can be so pushy! Der kluger bahalt dem saichel; der nar veist zein narishkeit (a wise man conceals his intelligence; the fool displays his foolishness), and it would be wise for you to keep your advice to yourself for once. With your ruling sign, Mercury, in Gemini (also ruled by Mercury) from May 15 to May 31, try to reign in your desire to tell people what they should be doing. Instead, with Venus entering Gemini on June 1, tell them how they make your life more bearable!

LIBRA (SEPTEMBER 21-OCTOBER 20): Libras are guilty of being almost too forgiving of others—letting people walk all over you for fear of changing the fabric of your life. You may be a yiddisher kop (smart person), but the shtuss (a minor annoyance that arises from nonsense) you’ve put up with makes you seem like you’re dangerously close to becoming the ill-fated schlimazel. On May 9, the new moon eclipse in Taurus offers you a chance to start a new chapter in your life. Whether this means relocation or finally putting your foot down, stand up for yourself and how you want your life to proceed.

SCORPIO (OCTOBER 21-NOVEMBER 20): The full moon lunar eclipse in your sign on April 25 had you waiting on tenterhooks. As always, Scorpio assumes vos veyniker men ret, alts gezinter iz (the less said, the better – lit., the less you speak, the healthier). Your ruling planet Pluto’s continuing retrograde isn’t helping much to get you out of hiding. However, Scorpio boasts two out of the three Beastie Boys (MCA, may he rest in peace, was a Leo) giving you extra incentive to fight for your right to party!

SAGITTARIUS (NOVEMBER 21-DECEMBER 20): Everyone knows the old adage that those who don’t know history are doomed to repeat it, nu? With your ruling planet Jupiter in Gemini, which is considered to be quite lucky, you will find resolving tense issues from the past much easier. Make the most of it! However, because Sagittarians require a great deal of freedom, you may find working on relationships alle ziben glicken (not what it’s cracked up to be; lit. all seven lucky things). Fuhgeddaboutit! Relationships will be a big focus this year—while the grass is always greener, try to stay positive about what you’ve got.

CAPRICORN (DECEMBER 21- JANUARY 20): Take a cue from David Bowie, the Capricorn glam king chochem (genius): turn and face the strange changes. While may be consistently rockin’, you never know what life will throw your way—but you can prepare yourself for the possibilities. Az me muz, ken men: when one must, one can! Since you can’t fight change, continue to work on resolving past issues. for you capricious Capricorns, di shversteh arbet iz arumtsugain laidik: the hardest work is to go idle.

AQUARIUS (JANUARY 21- FEBRUARY 20): Deigeh nisht: don’t worry so much, Aquarius! It’s time to put on your dancing shoes—the energy on May 18 is favorable for finally letting loose! Venus, the planet of love, forming a favorable angle with your ruling planet Uranus heralds the possibility of a surprising night of fun! Although you Aquarians are turned off by anything too shmaltzy, you can still mach a leben (have fun) and still be true to yourself

PISCES (FEBRUARY 21-MARCH 20): Because your head is often in the clouds, you are prone to taking bubba meisah (old wives tales) too literally. Before you spit three times (to ward off the evil eye), take a look at what’s in front of you. Although the other signs of the zodiac could take imagination lessons from you, it can become dangerous if you close yourself off to reality completely. Spend too much of your time contemplating yeneh velt (the other world; the world to come), and you’ll miss the best that this world has to offer.

ARIES (MARCH 21-APRIL 20): With your ruling planet Mars in Taurus from April 20 to May 31, your impulsiveness will slow down considerably. However, it will be replaced with stamina and endurance. Trigger-happy though you may be at any other time of the year, now you will be forced to consider the consequences of your actions. Men iz dir moichel di t’shuveh, nor tu nit di avaireh: never mind the remorse, don’t commit the sin!

What’s Your Sign?
Aires, the Headstrong Fire Sign
Pisces, the Dual-Natured Water Sign
Aquarius, Sign of Contradictions
Capricorn, the Cardinal Earth Sign
Sagittarius, the Adventurous Archer
Stinging Scorpio
Lovely, Lawful Libra
Virgo, the Anxious Maiden
Leo, King of the Jungle

***

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Before I began studying Daf Yomi—or daily page of Gemara—I used to measure time and the seasons of my life in haircuts. In August of 2008, I shaved my head and set off for a year’s travel in New Zealand, allowing my recently-shorn hair to grow out during my backpacking ramblings. Each year, as Pesach rolls around, I make sure to get in a haircut, signaling the end of winter and beginning of warm days to come. Now, eight months into the Daf Yomi cycle, I measure time in pages of Gemara. Berachot 2: I was in the midst of a physically and emotionally challenging chaplaincy internship. Shabbat 88: I was traveling in one of the most remote places in the world, exploring fjords by overnight boat. Shabbat 149: my 30th birthday, Shabbat, Boston, surrounded by friends and loved ones.

Just as Daf Yomi distinguishes one day from them next, marking the passage of time, we are approaching the culmination of the counting of the omer, the 49-day-period from Pesach to Shavuot. Each night, we count the number of the day out loud, raising each of the preceding 49 days to a higher level of holiness and awareness, increasing our anticipation for day 50, during which we receive the Torah anew. On that day, I plan to stay up to the wee hours of the morning with a grateful eye toward all the Torah I’ve received and all of the Torah, and all the pages of Gemara, that I have yet to learn.

This Daf Yomi that accompanies me everywhere, keeping me busy on trains, planes, and overnight cruises, refers to the page of Gemara one learns daily as a part of a 7-and-a-half-year cycle. More than 90,000 people attended the siyum hashas that marked the completion of the most recent Daf Yomi cycle at MetLife Stadium in New Jersey this past summer. If one just keeps plugging along a page at a time, in fewer than eight years, one will come to learn all of the 37-volume rabbinic text known as the Gemara, in which the rabbis discuss and debate how to apply the oral law. The breadth of these texts is incredible, ranging from a detailed encyclopedic guide on dream interpretations—if you dream of eggs, then your requests hang in the balance; if you dream of a goose, you’ll become the head of a yeshiva—to the ins and outs of the criminal justice system and what constitutes an offense punishable by death.

This project is both a collective experience as well as an individual one. Sometimes as a kid I used to revel at a blank television screen, imagining all of the television shows that continued on, drama and lives unfolding, even while my personal television set was turned off. My experience of Daf Yomi is similar. When I am tuned in, I am part of this great unfolding, privileged to this other world whose stories continue one after another, day after day. As long as I keep my set turned on, my Gemara opened in front of me, I get to keep one foot in that world and one foot in this, but as soon as I close my book, the stories of that world are lost to me.

Yet, each person’s experience of Daf Yomi is completely unique and tailored to that person’s needs, goals, and of course, time availability. There are hundreds of online podcasts and in-person classes to guide one’s learning. One can learn the original Gemara in Hebrew and Aramaic, follow an English translation, or any number of possibilities somewhere in between.

My daily practice consists of a mix between using the online podcast of Rav Yitzhak Etshalom as well as learning from the Steinsaltz Gemara, which has an incredibly reader-friendly commentary running along the sides of the page to help explicate the complicated ins and outs of the text. I love Rav Yitzhak Etshalom’s podcast because he’s fast, sharp, and sticks closely to the text while explaining just enough so that I understand the major concepts. But, on the days when I find myself without Internet, perhaps in the air for 8 hours, electronic devices turned off, I turn to Steinsaltz.

After I complete each daf, I jot down a list of topics of note and then attempt to distill some small piece of that day’s learning into a 17-syllable haiku. For years, haikus have been my go-to literary form in which I can translate content into a creative nugget. My haiku craze began while working at Trader Joes years ago when I wrote haikus on various food items to teach other employees about our products. However, the literary form has since taken me from smoothies and granola bars to the parshiot of the Torah and now finally to Daf Yomi. Even in just one page, the daf covers a vast amount of terrain, perhaps beginning with the halachic minutiae of how to prepare food for animals on Shabbat and concluding with a story about the laundry practices of Rabban Gamliel from which we learn that white clothing is more difficult to wash than colored clothing.

It would be impossible for me to hold and remember all of the content in one daf, let alone in 37 volumes worth of Gemara. It is through my daily haiku writing that I integrate and internalize one aspect of that day’s learning and ensure that if nothing else, I have 17 syllables to take away with me. It can be an incredible challenge to stick within the form, confined by only 17 syllables. And, yet, there is something meditative and truly satisfying when I finally land on exactly the right combination of syllables and sounds that contain within them a powerful nugget of an idea.

Sometimes I find myself looking at my bookshelf, eyeing different volumes of Gemara, wondering which one I’ll be learning while I have my first child. Will it be in Suka, or perhaps Beitza? Where will I be in the cycle when I graduate rabbinical school in two years? First real job? Second child? The next big move? When I look at those slim, travel-sized volumes, neat and ordered on my bookshelves, I see the next seven and a half years spread before me. I can guess at some of the events that will mark these pages, but the one thing that will remain constant amid change and transition will be my daily practice of Daf Yomi, grounding me in time.

My Top 5 Haikus:

Brachot 45
what’s the halacha?
go see what the people do:
a world of practice

Brachot 58
the world inundates us
all the time; look for wonder
in quiet places.

Shabbat 30
the fear of the thing:
so consuming it prevents

living—just let go.

Shabbat 82
delving deep into
wiping and constipation
this too is torah

Shabbat 113
let it not be an
exercise in wordplay. make
it matter to you.

***

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2013 is shaping up to be the year of Amy Winehouse. First news of a documentary about the late singer, now a museum exhibit devoted to Winehouse’s Jewish family life. “Amy Winehouse: A Family Portrait,” will be on view at The Jewish Museum in Camden, where Winehouse grew up, from July 3 to September 15, and visitors will get to see a decidedly different side of the troubled star’s life.

“We weren’t religious, but we were traditional,” Winehouse’s brother Alex told Vogue U.K. “I hope, in this most fitting of places, that the world gets to see this other side, not just to Amy, but to our typical Jewish family.”

According to the Jewish Museum’s website:

Amy was close to her family and had a strong sense of her Jewish roots and heritage. The exhibition will show many unseen photographs of Amy’s family life – Friday night dinners, Alex’s Barmitzvah and vintage photographs of their beloved grandmother Cynthia.

Will you be dropping by the exhibit?

(Photo by Jo Hale/Getty Images)

Last week, Rabbi Ari Hart, the co-founder of Uri L’Tzedek, wrote about his personal struggle with the liturgy and the recitation of the blessing thanking God “for not making me a woman,” which as a liberal sort, he finds problematic, you know, because of misogyny.

Rather than omit or amend the blessing as some Modern Orthodox folks—from Rabbi Yosef Kanefsky to Senator Joe Lieberman—have done, Hart decided on a different tactic. Citing his fidelity to Orthodoxy and the entirety of halacha, Hart does not feel comfortable changing the blessing to match his principles. Rather, he will continue to thank God for not making him a woman while keeping in mind all of the reasons that it is indeed better to be a man—from rape to the glass ceiling to lack of religious leadership opportunities (particularly in his denomination, which doesn’t allow for women rabbis) and so on. You see, it really sucks to be a woman and Hart is rabbi enough to admit his privilege.

My knee jerk reaction was to blog snarkily about Hart’s post, pointing out that what he was suggesting is akin to the oft-discussed and derided ironic hipster racism. As Jezebel’s Lindy West astutely pointed, some white folks (the ones with college degrees) seem to think that “not wanting to be racist makes it okay for them to be totally racist.” Hart is suggesting something similar—as a male, a member of the privileged group in Orthodoxy, he gets to rejigger the meaning of a blessing that has often been viewed by women as hurtful, to twist into something that he can feel good about. It’s sort of like how straight people decided that “queer” was no longer insulting and that LGBTQ should reclaim it. (Oh, wait—it didn’t happen like that?)

While I still stand behind that original blog post and the arguments contained therein (and as a very belated birthday present, I would very much like someone to make Hart a “Shelo Asani Isha” t-shirt he can wear ironically on a New York street corner while explaining his intent), I’d like to address the emotions and feelings that seem to motivate the writing of his piece. (And I think it’s totally fair to make assumptions about Hart’s inner mental state since his “strategy” demands the same of those around him—for us to hear him recite the particular blessing and infer what he’s thinking about his male privilege.)

Like many progressive Orthodox Jews, Hart is torn up about the sexism embedded in Jewish law and liturgy. But he really likes being Orthodox and doesn’t want to do anything that calls his status into question, which is a reasonable fear. When Kanefsky wrote about not saying the blessing, some considered him to have stepped outside the bounds of Orthodoxy. So Hart continues to thank God daily that he was not made a woman. And the cognitive dissonance he feels living as an Orthodox male who believes that sexism and its consequences are wrong is clearly weighing on him.

I think we can all sympathize. It’s difficult to live perfectly in accordance with one’s values. We all buy goods that are made by workers who underpaid and mistreated. Those goods are often manufactured in ways that are destructive to the physical environment. The list goes on and on.

Some may protest these unjust systems and try to change them for the better. But for those of us who don’t take to the streets to fight against oppressive institutions, I’d like to think that at least we’re not actively rationalizing and defending our actions. (This isn’t much, I’ll grant you. In fact, it’s so little, it’s practically nothing at all.)

Hart, however, is treating the blessing as a thought problem, one that can be fixed if you can simply find the right arguments. By coming up with a different way of understanding it, he seems to think the matter is put to rest at least until all of the ills he lists at the end of his post are corrected. (And what then? What happens when women are totally equal? Will the Orthodox, if that category still exists, say the blessing a hundred years from now or whenever women have achieved equality?).

His approach has been fairly typical of Orthodoxy’s encounter with feminism—at least online. Confronted with certain practices that have their roots in very misogynistic notions about women, many Orthodox men and women insist that the problem is not the law but the explanation of it. ‘No, wait! You don’t understand!’ is the sentiment that has launched a thousand apologist pieces. (This also typifies the Republican response to their thrashing in the 2012 election. They seem to think that blacks and minorities simply didn’t understand their message and platform; their new strategy is to better explain themselves to minorities. I wonder how they’ll rationalize voter ID laws.)

The problems with the blessing (and with the status of women with Orthodox Judaism in general) cannot be explained away. In a small way, “shelo asani” contributes to all of the ills that Hart opposes and even some others, like homophobia, since the blessing implies that the worst thing a man can be is feminine. It’s not just a locker room taunt—it’s written into our liturgy. We have to do better than finding a more palatable explanation.

What’s so disappointing about the Huffington Post defense of “shelo asani” is the source. Hart has made a career out of helping the poor and aiding workers, out of taking action against injustice, out of doing something.

Of course, helping those groups doesn’t fundamentally disrupt the halachic system (though it is disruptive to the capitalist system). We are supposed to perform acts of charity and treat the goy in our midst with kindness and dignity. We are not allowed to mistreat workers and deprive them of pay or even make them wait for their money. Uri L’Tzedek is not changing the legalistic status quo as much as enforcing it, which is still highly commendable and difficult work.

But when Hart is confronted with the idea of change that could be disruptive to the Orthodox status quo—addressing women’s status and treatment—he doesn’t respond with the same verve. He seems to feel powerless to do anything, even amending or omiting a blessing.

William Faulkner is rumored to have said, “In writing, you must kill all of your darlings,” referring to those exceptionally fine and funny sentences that a writer is in love with despite the fact that they are off-topic or detract from your narrative intent. The writer’s emotional attachment to a particular phrase, paragraph, or page can keep it off the chopping block.

The offending blessing is hardly a “darling,” but Hart and others are treating it as such, permitting nostalgia and the emotion the old-timey liturgy evokes to cloud their judgment.

Yet as painful as darling slaughter is for many writers, it usually improves the overall work. If writers can eliminate their favorite phrases then perhaps we can have an honest discussion about cutting deeply troubling sections of our liturgy.

Because there’s a limit to how much sympathy I can muster for progressive men like Hart who argue to retain the old, oppressive forms for reasons of nostalgia or the desire to retain membership in a certain clique.

I get it. Change is difficult and destabilizing. It can be unpleasant to tinker with traditions and prayers that are part of a lifestyle that you mostly find beautiful and meaningful. Yet to these folks I still say—get over it. Your pain, while legitimate, is minor compared to the experiences of those who have been marginalized and oppressed by thousands of years of rules and blessings that have regarded them as property, trivialized their intellectual capacity, and denied them access to power.

But even if you can’t get over it, please don’t argue your liberal bona fides even as you continue to retaining those practices and prayers that many women find damaging.

I know, I know—perhaps I should be grateful that an Orthodox rabbi is even able to acknowledge his privilege. But guess what? I’m fresh out of gold stars.

Previous columns: The Photographer Who Captured a Disturbing Domestic Violence Incident
Misogyny in Israel—and Not Just at the Western Wall
Obsessive Compulsive Passover

Jurassic Park enthusiast Aaron Glaser went to see Jurassic Park 3-D (a 3-D remake of the original film) with Kerri Doherty of the web series Geeking Out with Kerri Doherty, and the two sat down to chat about the film afterwards. They talked about dinosaur droppings and whether it’s worth dropping $18 to see it in 3-D. They also talked a lot about Jeff Goldblum’s glistening hairy chest, brought to life in a third dimension.

Jeff Goldblum, after all, is a Jewish hero. On Tablet’s list of 100 Greatest Jewish Films, No. 75 is simply ‘Every Jeff Goldblum Movie Ever.’

Previously on Jewcy: Justifying My Jeff Goldblum Man Crush

Many of television’s most compelling series are populated by characters so complex, so dynamic, so real that a viewer could easily imagine them existing outside the confines of a glowing screen. ABC’s Scandal is … not one of those series.

Sure, its cast of brilliant Washington insiders may look like a rainbow coalition. But their ambitious, hyper-competent personalities are nearly identical, and they all speak in the same rat-a-tat register that creator Shonda Rhimes first perfected on Grey’s Anatomy. During its truncated first season, the show cared so little about distinguishing these people from one another that my roommate and I made a game of trying to remember the names of the glamorous lost souls who work for the superhumanly capable Olivia Pope (Kerry Washington). To this day, we exclusively refer to Darby Stanchfield’s Abby Whelan as “Long Red.”

That said, Scandal does feature one character who operates on a slightly different wavelength—former assistant U.S. Attorney David Rosen (Josh Malina), Olivia’s friendly nemesis turned quasi-employee (and Long Red’s kinda-sorta ex-boyfriend). His name is generic but appropriate, considering how neatly David embodies two classic Yiddish types: the mensch and the schlimazel.

First, the good one: While Olivia and her ilk run around disturbing crime scenes, covering up their clients’ misdeeds, and even rigging presidential elections—all in the name of “wearing the white hat,” the show’s much-repeated idiom for being a good guy—David shows a Javertian devotion to upholding the law. Even more importantly, he’s the only person in Washington who calls Olivia out for pretending the nation’s rules don’t apply to her. “You just expect me to bend the law for you once again, out of blind faith and admiration,” he tells his frenemy at the beginning of Season 2. “You pour a good bourbon, Olivia—but so does the dive bar down the street.” Translation: “I won’t back down, no matter how flawless you look in that cream-colored suit.”

And David isn’t afraid to speak truth to even higher powers, either. When he spots the CIA waterboarding Olivia’s hacker-slash-assassin Huck—after that tortured genius is arrested for apparently shooting the president; did I mention that Scandal is amazing?—the lawyer is rightfully horrified. One hour (and more than a few impassioned monologues) later, Huck is freed, thanks largely to David’s crusade.

But even though David reigns as Scandal’s moral center—or perhaps because he does—the show seems determined to make him the unluckiest TV character this side of Jerry Gergich. Olivia and co. repeatedly defeat David in court, despite his careful preparation and airtight arguments. His quest to tell the world about how Olivia fixed the election ends with David losing his prestigious government job, being reduced to teaching a high school civics class, and facing financial ruin so great that his mother has to start paying his rent. Oh, and then he wakes up next to a butchered blonde. (Don’t worry—he’s being framed.)

As the man himself moans—in one of his only overt allusions to being Jewish—he must be the “single most unlucky schmuck” on Earth. Despite his perch on the moral high ground, David eventually finds himself asking Olivia for her help, as well as a job—though at least he’s continually conflicted about his decision. (“Did you take a commission when I sold my soul to the devil?” he asks Olivia at one point, seeming deadly serious.)

By contrast, actor Joshua Malina has led a charmed life. He’s had the good fortune to play variations on David—whip-smart, idealistic, more than a little nerdy—on both Sports Night and The West Wing, Scandal’s most prominent spiritual ancestors. (Theory: Shonda Rhimes is Aaron Sorkin minus sanctimony, plus sex. Discuss.) It’s no wonder that back in January, Tablet nominated him to succeed Jarrod Bernstein as the White House’s official Jewish community liaison.

Knowing that Malina’s made a career out of playing this one guy does diminish David’s novelty somewhat … but either way, he remains Scandal’s most likeable and empathetic figure, especially once you factor in Malina’s obsessive live-tweeting of the show. And I really do hope that he and Long Red can work things out in the end.

Previously on Network Jews:

Agent Mulder, Supernatural Expert and Conspiracy Theorist on 1990s sci-fi hit The X-Files

Michael Ginsberg, the Smartass Ad Man on Mad Men

Dr. James Wilson on Fox’s Dark Medical Procedural House

***

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It’s time you got familiar with Amy Schumer—very familiar. The Long Island-bred comedian, whose specialty is wry, extra-dirty humor (see: Mostly Sex Stuff, her one-hour stand-up special), draws the inevitable comparison to Jewcy goddess Sarah Silverman, though Schumer’s brand of hyper-sexual humor laced with gross-out antics feels a bit more of the moment (but far more fleeting! We love you, Sarah).

Nowhere was that more evident than on the second episode of her new already successful Comedy Central show, Inside Amy Schumer, where Schumer tries to sext. (If you had to look that up, please stop reading. Now.) Though Willa Paskin correctly called the series out for its bro-centric comedy masked as edginess, this sketch seems more like a scene out of Girls than anything else.

It’s hard to take a cute selfie, let alone a flattering crotch shot. Especially for someone who looks like she has “a Hasidic rabbi living in her underpants (no offense).” Needless to say, this clip is NSFW:

http://www.jewcy.com/?p=142927

Talking to the 'My Name is Asher Lev' star about Hasidic Jews, his parents, and his indie surf band Read More]]>

I met Ari Brand, the star of the off-Broadway play, My Name is Asher Lev (based on the Chaim Potok novel), at the Westway Diner in the Theater District for lunch at 12:30 p.m. on a Wednesday. He had a short lunch break before his 2 p.m. pm show, and wanted to make it back to the theater to warm up by 1 p.m. (His pre-show ritual usually involves standing on stage and stretching, doing some vocal warm ups and chatting with the actors who play his parents, Mark Nelson and Ilana Levine.)

For lunch he ordered an egg and cheese sandwich and raspberry zinger tea to soothe his overactive vocals. Brand grew up downtown Manhattan, and now lives in Prospect Heights, Brooklyn with his girlfriend, a sociology PH.D candidate at NYU.

Are you exhausted right now? It must be hard to do two shows a day and still meet for lunch.

It’s totally exhausting. And I’ve never done a run of a show for this long and played a part this big. I don’t leave the stage for 95 minutes. So I’m really, really tired, but if the show feels good and it’s energizing then I’m relaxed and it’s great. If the show feels like a struggle, which it does sometimes, then it’s so much more exhausting. If there’s a week of those types of shows, I’m dead, I’ll go hibernate on my day off. Recently I’ve been going to the gym—gotta stay in show shape.

Tell me about your own personal connection with Judaism and how it affects your work.

I come from a family of half atheists, and the other half, my father, was raised Orthodox and then left that community. I was raised with Jewish traditions; I went to temple very minimally, I did have a bar-mitzvah. I went to Jewish camp for 12 years, and I’ve always identified as Jewish but didn’t always believe in God. And I don’t, now.

So you identify more as an atheist?

No I never call myself an atheist, but if somebody says do you believe in God I say no; but I’m Jewish because I’m culturally Jewish. I’m not sure how I feel about it. I think that so many of the archaic Orthodox rules are so problematic.

What are some parallels or differences between you and your character, Asher Lev?

I’ve always been supported as an actor by my family; my mother was an actress, singer, and musician, my father was a concert pianist. My brother is a neuropsychologist, so that takes off some of the pressure. And my mother always told me I had to try to be an actor if that’s what I really wanted. So it’s a privilege that I’m increasingly grateful for, and in that way I am nothing like Asher Lev. My father had a strict Orthodox father and left the community because it was too restrictive on him, so he has a much closer tie to Asher. In many ways, I’m telling his story.

That’s so ironic.

Yeah. What’s crazy is that I didn’t realize it until about halfway through the first run of the show. Throughout the rehearsal process it didn’t even enter my mind, it was maybe a week or two into doing the show that I was like, ‘holy shit, this is much more my father’s story.’ And I think as an actor you struggle with how much you can relate to a character, because of course you want to be able to relate entirely.

Is there a particular emotion that you enjoy acting out the most in Asher Lev, or one that is most fulfilling?

I have the privilege of playing a six-year-old in the play. I think some of the most fun moments I have on stage are the ones that are filled with the awe and wonder and excitement that Asher gets from drawing, and showing his mother the drawings he made of her. She gets so excited about it too, and I think it’s the happiest moment of his life.

What were some of your most significant roles that led you to where you are now?

In sixth grade I did my first professional production, which was an off-off-Broadway performance of Macbeth. That was the first time I understood what being a professional actor/struggling actor truly meant. A lot of these people were waiters, barely getting paid anything, but they had so much integrity and gave so much of their free time to their craft. They were such lovely, fun, energetic people that showed me how wonderful actors are.

Also in college, The Long Christmas Dinner by Thornton Wilder was a play that stretched me to my limits of what I could do as an actor. It went very deep and I was in the midst of studying my craft and sort of a Russian mentality of acting which is very deep, intense, and experimental. So that’s when I applied all that I was learning, and it was really special.

I know you’re in ‘indie surf’ band called New Facility. How do you have time for that?

We’re on hiatus right now. I tried to make it work for a while but then realized it was too much. We just have fun playing.

How did you guys meet?

My band mate (guitarist/lyricist) was my camp counselor. He was the first guy I ever collaboratively played music with. We were Jew camp rock stars at 11! He was a serious influence on me musically, and also just an awesome role model. After college he was in Brooklyn and I was in Brooklyn, and we decided to get together and start a band. Another guy who was his camp counselor at Camp Eisner joined as well, and he was the drummer (now have a new drummer). It’s a fun side project for the three of us to do when we have the time. Nobody is that serious about it, we’re not trying to make it big. We play plenty of live shows and we network with our friends. But most importantly we just try and have fun. If people contact us to play that would be great, But we aren’t searching.

Who are some of your musical influences?

I was raised with The Beatles, folk music, lots of Bob Dylan, Phil Oakes, Joan Baez. And I was a massive Green Day fan in fourth grade, massive. My friends pretended to each be individual members of the band. I was Mike Dirnt, the bassist, because I thought he was the guy in the background that didn’t get enough credit, and I like that guy. Then I got into hip-hop in eighth and ninth grade. I was a big fan of the underground scene, like pre-famous Mos Def and Talib Kweli; also I love Kanye and Jay-Z. Oh, and there was a massive swing movement that came out for about two years with Squirrel Nut Zippers and Big Bad Voodoo Daddy in 1996. It was part of the skater culture mixed with the zoot suit thing. I got full into that.

Do you know what you’re acting in next?

If something else presents itself then there are some decisions to be made but for now I’m just doing Asher Lev. It has an open-ended run so we don’t know when it’s going to end.

Yeah, and it’s doing so well.

Word of mouth is really, really strong, which is so impressive. It’s a universal story. There were two middle aged African-American ladies who came backstage after the show and said how much they loved it. We said, ‘we just have to know what made you come see the show,’ and they said their choir leader told them they must see it.

That’s great.

If you hear it’s about Hasidic Jews you expect a certain thing, but I think people have been surprised with how much they can connect with the play. Many people, especially in New York, have parents or communities that don’t approve of what they’re doing. I think doing the play in New York is very interesting because it seems to be the city of refugees. It’s a city where people come to find themselves and to escape. This play speaks to those people.

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So you’re going to a potluck this Shavuot, a holiday known for dairy blintzes and cheesecakes. You know the meal is going to be vegetarian so you can only assume that the main dish will be … lasagna, the tuna casserole of our generation. I’m over it. You’re over it. So why does it still show up all over the place? I’m not a vegetarian, but I consider myself an ally and sympathize with their plight. What is it with omnivores thinking the only way to get filled with plant foods is to layer it between noodles and encase it with cheese? Public service announcement: It’s not.

I bring this up because Shavuot is next week. For a range of reasons, Shavuot is traditionally commemorated both by staying up late to study and eating dairy. The tradition of all-night Torah study is a celebration of the anniversary of receiving the Torah at Mount Sinai. The dairy piece comes from a notion of the birth of calves and lambs in the springtime and the idea that the Israelites received the laws about separating milk and meat.

People might not tell you this, but I think it’s actually because they’re tired of always eating pareve desserts. But just because you want cheesecake, doesn’t mean you should slap together a mediocre meal to get there. There are a number of ways to go about creating a beautiful vegetarian meal. As a starting point, I recommend reading J. Kenji Lopez-Alt’s advice on making a vegan (also applicable to vegetarian) meal that’s not just a bunch of side dishes. The major tenets: The main dish needs to have a centerpiece, contrasting and complementary flavors, distinct textures, and must look pretty. Lasagna can probably hit three of those categories, if done well, but unless you burn your noodles, you aren’t like to get too many textures.

Enter moussaka. Moussaka is a multilayered dish, so those of you still hung up on lasagna can maybe get on board with this one. The recipe I’m proposing isn’t your typical moussaka (although what that may be is debatable given the regional variations) of layered eggplants, ground lamb, tomato sauce, and béchamel. Although moussaka is one of the most famous Greek dishes, its origins only date to the early 20th century and its name actually comes from Arabic, not Greek. The lamb had to go, since the end goal is cheesecake and, of course, there’s the whole not cooking meat in its mother’s béchamel issue. I used tempeh as a substitute, since it’s a good source of protein and because fermented soy has a number of health benefits and is a better option than textured vegetable protein.

But what makes this moussaka special is the crunchy millet topping. Remember, we want something with texture. The millet topping—a combination of millet, pine nuts, herbs, and spices—is allowed to crisp under the broiler. When you bite into it, you chew through soft layers of eggplant and zucchini, “ground” tempeh, creamy béchamel, and the satisfying crunch of the millet mixture.

I’m not going to pretend this recipe is a cakewalk, because it isn’t, but I urge you not to be intimidated by the length of ingredients or steps! First, because a lot of this can be done in stages and made in advance. Second, because the end product is so worth it: lemon zest and garlic in the millet topping meet the earthy cinnamon and tanginess of the tempeh tomato sauce meet the sweet richness of the béchamel. It’s really that good.

In terms of technique and pacing, the tempeh sauce can be made ahead of time and even frozen. It would also be delicious on pasta or, if you must, as a lasagna filling. The millet itself can also be made a few days or hours before assembling the final product. I recommend mixing the millet topping ingredients together while your tempeh is cooking or reheating on the day you plan to make the moussaka. You can make béchamel up to a day in advance and refrigerate it.

Not Your Bubbe’s Moussaka

Ingredients:
1 onion, diced
2-3 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
3-4 cloves garlic, minced
1 ½ cups tempeh, grated or crumbled
2 tablespoons tomato paste
½ cup red wine
1 cinnamon stick
3.5 cups canned tomato sauce
Sea salt, to taste

2 cups cooked millet
½ cup pine nuts, toasted and chopped
3 cloves garlic, minced
1-2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil
½ tablespoon dried oregano
1 tablespoon fresh mint, minced
1 tablespoon fresh parsley, minced
1 lemon, zested
Sea salt and pepper, to taste

2 ½ tablespoons unsalted butter
2 tablespoons all-purpose flour
2 cups milk, boiling hot
1 teaspoon salt
¼ teaspoon nutmeg

2 pounds eggplant, sliced on mandolin
1 pound zucchini, sliced on mandolin
Sea salt
Olive oil to grease the pan

For the tempeh tomato sauce:

1. Heat olive oil in a large saucepot over medium-low heat. Add diced onion and salt to the pot, sauté until translucent, about 5 minutes.

2. Add minced garlic and grated tempeh to the onions and cook another 4-6 minutes, allowing tempeh to color. Stir in tomato paste and wine until incorporated.

3. Add tomato sauce and cinnamon stick. Mix until incorporated and allow to simmer over low heat, stirring often to prevent the bottom from burning. Cook for another 40 minutes OR until the sauce becomes thick and reduces by about half.

For the millet topping:

1. While the sauce is cooking, in a medium bowl, mix cooked millet, pine nuts, olive oil, salt, pepper, garlic, oregano, mint, parsley, and zest using two forks. Set aside to top moussaka.

For the béchamel:

1. In a medium pan, heat the butter over medium-low heat until it is fully melted. Add flour and combine until smooth. Continue stirring constantly until the mixture is a light gold color, about 5-7 minutes.

2. Gradually add milk to the butter mixture and whisk until smooth. Bring to a boil. Cook for about 10 minutes, stirring constantly, then remove from heat. Season with salt and nutmeg.

For the moussaka:

1. Preheat oven to 350F.

2. Using a mandolin, thinly slice eggplant and zucchini lengthwise and keep in separate bowls, toss eggplant with sea salt.

3. Roast eggplant and zucchini on parchment lined sheet pan in oven for approximately 7 minutes OR until cooked through.

4. Remove them from pan and let cool.

5. Lightly oil a shallow 9×13 pan and layer moussaka:
a. 1 layer eggplant
b. 2 ½ – 3 cups tempeh tomato sauce
c. 1 layer zucchini
d. 2 ½ -3 cups tempeh tomato sauce
e. 1 layer eggplant
f. 1 ½ cups béchamel
g. Millet topping

6. Bake in a conventional oven at 350F for 20-25 minutes until heated throughout.

7. Broil for 3 minutes until crispy and golden. Remove from broiler let cool and serve.

Also try:

Not Your Bubbe’s Lag B’Omer S’mores

Not Your Bubbe’s Spelt Honey Challah

Not Your Bubbe’s Modern Gefilte Fish Fillet