The Hippie: Dreadlocks and Bagels
What: Zen Yom Kippur day of reflection
When: Saturday, September 22, 10 AM
Where: New York Insight Meditation Center, 28 West 27th St, 10th Floor
Why: Jew-Bus who have a tendency to space out in synagogue might be better served by a day of Zen Yom Kippur meditation. Pull on your favorite tie dye and engage in silence and reflection, with meditations focused on the idea of right action, the difference between guilt and remorse, the laws of karma, forgiveness and loving kindness. Explore the Jew-Bu perspective on atonement, and reward yourself afterward with a symbolic break-fast.

The Hipster: Way too Cool for Hebrew School
What: Break-fast with Jesus H Christ and the Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse
When: Saturday, September 22, 9 PM
Where: BAM’s Peter Jay Sharp Building, 30 Lafayette Ave, Brooklyn
Why: Is there anything more ironic than breaking the fast with a band called Jesus H Christ and the Four Hornsmen of the Apocalypse? And is there anything you love more than irony (other than coffee, sex, and cigarettes)? Both poppy and cheeky, Jesus H Christ's last record was listed by The New Yorker as "one of ten albums worth checking out" in 2006. They'll be performing a double-wide set featuring 90 minutes of awe-inducing (get it, "awe"?) tunes at the Brooklyn Academy of Music as Yom Kippur draws to a close.

The Beshert Seeker: Something Old, Something Newish, Something Borrowed, Something Jewish
What: Free West Side break-Fast
When: Saturday, September 22, 7:35 PM
Where: 131 W. 86th St.
Why: Because this year, you're sure that you've been inscribed into the book of life with a partner, and the Manhattan Jewish Experience's West Side Break-fast might just be the destined point where your paths will finally cross. The cutting-edge program brings together young Jewish professionals in their 20s and 30s who are interested in learning more and connecting with their heritage and the Manhattan Jewish community.

The Nouveau Jew: Better Late Than Never?
What: Pre-Yom Kippur feast
When: Friday, September 21, 4:30 PM
Where: Chabad Resource Center of Columbia University, 625 West 113 St, North Parlor Room
Why: No one likes to fast on an empty stomach, so join the gang over at the Chabad Resource Center of Columbia University before Kol Nidre for a delicious and carefully planned out feast. Honey cake courtesy of the Rebbetzin.

The Super-Jew: You've Got the Spirit, Yes You Do!
What: Yom Kippur "Best High Holyday" services
When: Services from Friday, September 21, 8:45 PM through Neilah on Saturday, September 22
Where: 1157 Lexington Ave between 79th and 80th St
Why: With a blend of traditional and modern music, speakers on social action and personal themes, reflective meditation and inner growth time, traditional liturgy and contemplative poetry—not to mention the dramatic torch-lit Havdalah service and rousing singing and dancing as the evening concludes—the "Best High Holyday" Yom Kippur services sound like the greatest thing to happen to you since receiving a Shabbat-o-Gram from that special someone all those years ago.

The Intellectual: Smarter Than Jew
What: Yom Kippur services led by Rabbi Jennifer Krause
When: Friday, September 21, 6:25 PM
Where: Lexington Ave at 92nd St
Why: Because Rabbi Jennifer Krause brings a mix of sacred text, contemporary experience, and popular culture to her sermons, and because she just published a book called "The Answer," so it'll be fun to see just how many answers she has.

The Alterna-Parent: Day Care and Dinner Parties
What: Family Yom Kippur followed by a glow stick procession
When: Saturday, September 22, 7 PM
Where: Hall of Mirrors outside Kaufmann Concert Hall, Lexington Ave at 92nd St
Why: Assuming it doesn't trigger any acid flashbacks, and you don't get disoriented due to hunger, the 92nd Street Y's glow stick procession for children under 12 should be entertaining for the whole family. Pick up a Family Ticket Pass for only $50, and the whole mishpacha will be able to attend the family services from beginning to end.