Sun, Mar 21, 2010

User login

FAITHHACKER

Light My Fire: How to Host Havdalah

Tamar Fox
TAGS:

A Traditional Havdalah Set: wine, spice box, and braided candleA Traditional Havdalah Set: wine, spice box, and braided candleMost secular Jews are at least vaguely familiar with the various blessings and observances of Shabbat, but unless you attended a Jewish camp or went on an Israel trip, you might not have experienced Havdalah. The mini-ceremony performed at the close of Shabbat (when you can count three stars in the sky on Saturday night), Havdalah means "separation" in Hebrew, and the ritual signifies separating the holy from the mundane. It's a simple and beautiful ceremony, and a pleasant way to start a Saturday night. Here's some handy info on Havdalah, along with the items you'll need to host your own private service.

  • Imbibe: First, you need something to drink. You can’t use water, but pretty much anything else will do. Ideally, get some kosher wine, but tea or coke or juice will work in a bind. Pour your beverage into a cup all the way to the rim. Some people pour enough so that the liquid overflows a little, to symbolize overflowing love and whatnot.
  • Inhale: You also need some fragrant spices, such as cloves. I just use the ground cinnamon from my spice drawer, but you can use a spice sachet, potpourri, or make your own aromatic blend. When you sing the blessing over the spices, pass them around so everyone can breathe them in.
  • Illuminate: Finally, you need a candle with more than one wick. If you don't have a traditional Havdalah candle, you can just hold two regular candles together, or you can buy one of the many fancy, braided options on the market. They last for ages since you only have them lit a few minutes every week. Everyone should hold out their hands to see the candlelight shed on them during the blessing over the fire. At the end of the ceremony, the candle is put out in the wine.

You can listen to a partial track of Debbie Friedman's Birchot Havdalah here. Havdalah prayers, transliterations, and translations can be found here.

Finally, there's one long blessing at the end:

Blessed are you, Lord, our God, sovereign of the universe
Who separates between sacred and secular
between light and darkness, between Israel and the nations
between the seventh day and the six days of labor
Blessed are You, Lord, who separates between sacred and secular. (Amen)


Get Creative: make your own spice boxGet Creative: make your own spice boxFor tips on how to conduct the ritual itself, see Jew FAQ’s helpful page, My Jewish Learning, or Hillel’s explanation.

Finally, there are some weird but cool customs having to do with Havdalah. For example, if you’re an unmarried girl, you’re supposed to hold the candle at the height of the husband you’d like. Also, when you put the candle out in the wine at the end (after drinking from it), you can dip your fingers in (symbolizing holiness) and touch them to your temples (for intellectual strength), your heart (for love), and your pockets (for financial success).



Tamar Fox

Tamar Fox has an MFA from Vanderbilt University in Nashville, but she still doesn't like sweet tea. Born and raised in Chicago, she's also lived in Iowa City, Dublin, Oxford, and Jerusalem. When she's not rocking out at honky tonks she teaches text study,

More...

Michal


If you want an even more far-out experience, try using brandy instead of wine. After all the blessings (you need to say "she-hakol" not "hagafen" since it's not wine), pour a little of the brandy into a saucer and use it to douse the candle. It will burn blue for a minute or so - insert thoughts about letting the Sabbath magic take a bit longer to depart, or just bask in the pretty.




Jonathan


Brandy sounds like a cool idea, although with all the l'chaims on a typical Chabad Shabbos, that might just wipe me out.




tarfon


1. Brandy (real brandy) _is_ wine, and I believe that the proper blessing is "borei pri hagafen."

2.  One vote _against_ the irritating and ubiquitous Debbie Friedman melody, which threatens to become canonical.  





Tamar Fox

Tamar Fox


I despise the Debbie Friedman tune (and the ubiquitous swaying that always accompanies it) but it is pretty much canonical at this point, which is why it was included.  But yeah, I agree. Blech.



Null


...that can be listened to or downloaded online?  Bring em.



Maayan

Maayan


Havalah is my favorite Shabbat service because it's so pretty. It's easy enough to do at home with family or friends and can put you in a great mood for the week.




Meredith Jacobs

Meredith Jacobs


I've started seeing Havdallah ceremonies incorporated into b'nai mitzvah parties (kind of the transition between the cocktail hour and dinner).  My daughter's bat mitzvah is 2 years away (yes, already planning) but would love to figure out a beautiful/meaningful way to have havdallah with our guests (and eliminate the horrid "candlelighting ceremony").  BTW--her Bat Mitzvah is also on Sukkot!  Any ideas would be very much appreciated!!

 

Meredith Jacobs





Rebbette


is shehakol, even when it's made from grapes. just FYI.




Dan Garwood

Dan Garwood


Noam Katz, Dan Nichols, and Rick Recht have all written alternatives to Debbie Friedman's tune, but the only time I've ever heard one of them actually used was when Rick led a Havdallah service.

A little variety would definitely be nice, but it's difficult to teach people a new melody without ruining the sanctity of the prayer experience in the first place.

The only thing worse, though, is the Jeff Klepper Havdallah song. You know, "The twisted candle brightens our hearts..." Ugh.

EDIT: Found a few samples.  Dan Nichols: http://www.jewishrock.com/discography.asp?dt=1&rid=3; Noam Katz: http://www.noamkatz.com/musicrakia.html





Null


Meredith: I'm a Sukkot gal, too!  Love the idea of incorporating Havdalah into a Bat Mitzvah (or wedding, in my case, which I'm aiming to do). 

Dan: Awesome, thanks for the music leads!