A Jewcy contributor who prefers to remain nameless sends the following idea:

I feel so alone and frightened now that my mother has figured out how to use email. So, I had an idea: Jewcy should publish insane notes or emails from people’s Jewish mothers or perhaps fathers. Grandmother? Readers could submit. We would all enjoy it so much!

Before you could say “If I disconnected Mom’s DSL, would she know how to reconnect it?” three times fast, the first note came in.

I'll forward one from my mother called "chicken meat." She's written much, much stranger ones but somehow I really think this one is funny.

Dada formatting reproduced as in the original.

From: Mom
To: Daughter
Sent: Wed, 6 Dec 2006 9:42 AM
Subject: Chicken meat

Report over NPR: 84% of chickens in America have been found to have
a
bacteria (name I don't remember) as well as some salmonella. Be sure
that
all chicken has absolutely no pink in it --be sure to send it back for
further cooking --or add a few second in the microwave if you are not
sure.
Tell Dan and Jeffrey.

Mom

The program is Here and Now with Robbin Young. She is as interesting
and
good as Terry Gross, with a different format. You might be able to
hear it
in your area.

Add your psycho parental e-mails as comments to this post. Winner gets their parents' computer crashed by Jewcy tech guru Craig Leinoff. At least he'll try. If that doesn't work, we'll do the next best thing: give them a Comcast account.