Sat, Aug 30, 2008

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DAILY SHVITZ
Much To Do
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An Allergy Free Cat: Is a Happy CatAn Allergy Free Cat: Is a Happy Cat Here's some of the things I have to do today:

  • Return the electrical breaker I bought that was wrong.
  • Find something of equal or lesser value that I can now consider "free," like box of tiny screwdrivers.
  • Return the shower head I'm not ever going to install and get a toaster oven in exchange. Alton Brown said toaster ovens are cool.
  • Determine plan for convincing clerk that I do have the receipt for the shower head, it's just invisible.
  • Rub down cat with anti-allergy shampoo.
  • Rub down other cat with anti-allergy shampoo after moving all the furniture it has scooted under; includes bed, sofa, kitchen cabinet, front closet, my closet, my underwear.
  • Disinfect and bandage allergy-free-cat inflicted wounds.
  • Come to some kind of resolution on the 3 month old email about my expiring US airways miles. Hope that all deadlines have finally passed and it is now a moot point that I don't have to do anything about except gripe. ("Bastards just took away my miles! Just like that!")
  • Reopen article about outsourcing that my publisher and PR team thought was, "Not up to your usual standard."
  • Close article about outsourcing so as to reboot computer to install "Critical iTunes Update."
  • Make plans to visit my girlfriends parents in North Carolina by checking prices on Expedia.
  • Curse airline industry.
  • Fight with girlfriend over travel plans.
  • Fight with girlfriend over the way my job lets me "work at home."
  • Attempt to define drooling on keyboard as real work, just like her job.
  • Call girlfriend back to apologize after realizing I am hard to live with, again.
  • Think really seriously about installing that ceiling fan that's on the floor. Maybe shift ladder again to determine best position for thinking seriously about it.
  • Google myself.
  • E-mail anyone who has even kind of mentioned my book.
  • Mop excess moisture off of coffee maker.
  • Revel in glow of dry coffee maker, and at least one task accomplished.

 



David Silverman is the author of Typo: The Last American Typesetter or How I Made and Lost $4 Million.

His other achievements include captain of his college computer programming team and high school chess team, and, if prodded only slightly,


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David Strauss


Not done yet

You're not a middle-class, white, American male until you make plans to built a deck. Think of it as a low-cost investment in vapid ethnicity.





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