"Mine is the love that dare not speak its name" was Bosie's line from the only memorable poem he ever wrote, not Wilde's defense.

Though I disagree that the Irish playwright was speaking purely of the chaste eros that defined ancient Greek male relationships -- usually those between mentor and protege. Platonic love is one thing, but Oscar got up to plenty more.

What finally did him in in the dock was his too-clever answer to the prosecutor's question of whether he'd ever kissed such-and-such rentboy: "No. He was unspeakably plain."

So much for sidelong glances along the portico.

Bosie coined the phrase, but Wilde used it on the stand. 

 ""The Love that dare not speak its name" in this century is such a great affection of an elder for a younger man as there was between David and Jonathan, such as Plato made the very basis of his philosophy, and such as you find in the sonnets of Michelangelo and Shakespeare. It is that deep, spiritual affection that is as pure as it is perfect. It dictates and pervades great works of art like those of Shakespeare and Michelangelo, and those two letters of mine, such as they are. It is in this century misunderstood, so much misunderstood that it may be described as the "Love that dare not speak its name," and on account of it I am placed where I am now. It is beautiful, it is fine, it is the noblest form of affection. There is nothing unnatural about it. It is intellectual, and it repeatedly exists between an elder and a younger man, when the elder man has intellect, and the younger man has all the joy, hope and glamour of life before him. That it should be so, the world does not understand. The world mocks at it and sometimes puts one in the pillory for it.""

See above.