So Last WeekHanukkah has come and gone. And with eight days (weird!) left ‘til That Other Holiday, those of us who find ourselves unwilling or -able to pretend we’re gentiles had better get used to the fact that we’re going to be doing a helluva lot of smiling-and-nodding in response to well-intentioned but totally moot Hanukkah wishes in the coming days.

You know what I’m talking about: those exclamations of “Happy Holidays!” or “Merry Christmas!” that turn, with squeaky awareness, to “...or, uhhh...Happy Hanukkah?” when it dawns on the speaker that there’s a real, live Jew in the house.

They don’t know that Hanukkah’s over. They don’t care when Hanukkah is. Hell, I don’t care that much about when Hanukkah is, either. It’s like wishing folks a “Merry Christmas” the week after New Year’s. But at least Christmas is about something (kinda) religiously meaningful. So not even. “Happy Father’s Day," maybe? Happy Irish Independence Commemoration?