Sat, Sep 06, 2008

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DAILY SHVITZ
Bored

How many godforsaken hours can one possibly pass via Chinese food and movies? How many hours of our lives must we watch tick away waiting for the world to start up again? Unlike Ms. Chupak, I do not get off on appropriating the (a)religious rituals of others.You smell like chimney and old people.You smell like chimney and old people.

Humiliatingly enough, tried to take part in revelry with my purported peeps, but was turned away at the door for insufficient proof of ticket purchase. Alas!

There is nothing to be done but get fucked up, haul out the best Hanukkah present ever, and start taking bets as to how long until those jackass decorations go away for another year.

And! Compose a Haiku:

Christmas is boring
Everything is closed and shut
I want a latte.


Elisa Albert is the author of The Book of Dahlia and the short-story collection


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Michael Nehora


I hear ya

As if passing the time during Yoishke Day weren't enough of a challenge in itself, I've got some kind of intestinal virus, as do my mom and sister-in-law, presumably from one of the other relatives at our end-of-Hanukkah gathering.  That means no dim sum today and, possibly, no trip to uncle's farm on Tuesday.  Bleah.





alison zack


so this is christmas

ugh. I know. Just hang in there.

I have to try not to be a party pooper because the other half of my household was raised Catholic, but even she isn't amused by all the holiday cheer (barf) around us.

I watched the yule log this morning and I hung my cheeseburger ornament on the tree in our lobby... but that's as far as I can go.

If one more person wishes me a happy Chrismukkah or fucking Festivus, I'm gonna scream.





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