these question are not serious at all - it is typical of Knish humour - it's a big joke (just making that clear for people who my have aspergers)

- There are actually interesting Halachic Questions about the nature of Male Homosexual relationships.

- Obviously Female Homosexual relationships are Biblically permitted but Rabbinically frowned upon. (so much easier to get around)

as far as I'm aware - there are interesting alternative teshuvahs about Gay relationships - that run along the lines of

- "as long as your not having anal sex - it's ok".

So in theory a Male couple may engage in all manner of homosexual activity - with the exclusion of Anal Sex and could also enter into a legal (business) bond which ties them together - over a property, estate etc... (as in the British 'Gay Marriage') giving gay couples equal legal rights as heterosexual couples.

'Divorce' - would be a 'business contract dispute' and the couple would probably have to go to a Dian to settle the matter - and no 'Get' is needed.

As for the actual rituals they might employ to announce there 'Merger' - it is up to them - to invent and borrow from tradition.

But I think that a simple hand shake, raising of a handkerchief or a 'selling of an object' would suffice - to make there business arrangement - 'Marriage' halachicly binding.

There are other issues of course - the Bible would like people to procreate - so i would imagine that Gay couples would be encouraged to have children?

As for 'adultery' and that kind of thing - Judaism encourages long term monogamous relationships - but does not totally eliminate the possibility of extra-marital affairs - the laws of pelegesh/concubine is a key example.

I also imagine that Judaism might encourage Gay couples to 'marry' Jewish partners - because the main reason for not marrying outside of the faith is that it would lead to Jewish people leaving their religion and joining another.

Disclaimer: all this needs to be worked out in much greater detail by people that are knowledgeable enough to make a real guide to Gay Marriages.

So please ask your local orthodox (very open minded) rabbi.