Bloody brilliant sugar pop!  This is what I have believed for most of my life.

And yes, I do piss on the Messiah. I used to say that I would punch the Messiah in the nose, but old age made that seem a bit violent, and I have often had fantasies of my wife pissing on me, so therefore ...

In the end, this dumb-ass love of the Moshiach gives Jews a reason to be lazy fuckers, to continue to pollute the air and water and not stop the people that pollute the air and water. As long as there is a Moshiach there will be idiots mainlining sugar and killing their lives in front of the television set ... just waiting for him.

I'm not too tight with G-d, but I have a pretty good feeling that He would not want all of us to dirty everything up and spend our lives in front of the hypnotube, and singing heartfelt songs on Friday night waiting for some fairy tale of Messiah.

G-d gave me urine, and with that urine I piss on the Messiah. And then with the urine that drips off of the Messiah, I will collect it all, and run it through reverse osmosis so that it can be used to irrigate crops and grow food and put food in people's bellies and help stop thirst and starvation.