I think there is a deeper reason Jewish education is a mess.  I'm a non-religious Jew.  Very aware of holidays and traditions and the culture, but I'm not going to ever go deep or be observant.  And that alone in this modern world triggers prosteletyzing among more religious Jews.
On the one hand, it is great there are people trying to keep the traditions alive. But on the other, it stifles secular Jewish culture and keeps many secular Jews underground and even forces them to renounce the religion.
My own feeling is that NYC had a rich/non-religious Jewish culture that doesn't exist anymore.  It was a disapora culture that is looked down upon because nowadays "real" Jews have Israel to look to as a homebase.
But I have to tell you.  The baby has been thrown out with the bathwater.
20-30 years ago Yiddish was the language of strictly non-religious Yids in NYC and other places.  And Hebrew was the main language of the religious.  Now, it's pretty much a 180 degree turn.  Want to learn Yiddish in NYC?  Chabbad and similar religious recruiting groups are the only place to go.  And Hebrew is now the language of choice for all Jews in Israel.
Cutting this short before I go on, but I think the concept of Jewish culture and Judaism being uniquely different yet equally important needs to be pounded into some people's heads.
I place no judgement on anyone who chooses to be religious but do feel the following.  Don't force anyone to be religious because of their heritage.  And do not try to "recruit" non-religious Jews by forcing the concept of religion into every discussion.
The non-acceptance of secular Jewish culture really does damage and forces polarization.  For example, Chabbad. I'm not going to head to Eastern Parkway to tell someone how to dress or live their religious life; please don't come into Park Slope asking other people if they are Jewish and force them to lie or fight because they simply do not want to be religious.